Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

hieveryone

cloverfan wrote: »

I know I don't want to come back and tell everyone no he didn't ask me but more than that I am worried I will spoil our holiday by hoping for it and it not happening.

He even suggested opening a savings account for a wedding but hasn't ever even put 1p into it so what was the point in having it?

This is the worst thing! We go on lots of little breaks, weekend aways etc and EVERY time I have the dread.

We are going on holiday in 10 days and I just know he won't ask, but in the back of my mind it doesn't stop me hoping.:rotfl:

I try to get him to realise that if he was to wait until, say.. Christmas time... then we couldn't really get married the following summer. Therefore, wasting lots of time!! Whereas, if he asked now, we could do it next summer! haha!

hieveryone

Sophie8 wrote: »

I think you could approach your OH with this (if you haven't told him this bit), if he doesn't seem to respond well and if you're certain that you would leave him if he doesn't propose then you should let him know that it is that important to you because i agree with you, if 4 years in and nothing happens what can guarantee that it will ever happen? To be honest I admiere your patience, I couldn't wait for that long.

And if you are ok with a small reception you can plan it in 3 months' time.I actually planned my frugal wedding (notes, guest lists, party favors and everything)in one day, actual booking would take a mere weekend and all left would be the dress. But my OH doesn't know this. I planned a city hall wedding and a small get together with cake and soft drinks (just in case he says weddings are too expensive ) but he wants to do it "properly", reception, coctails and all so i'm obviously ok with that And i'm planning to contribute as well. But he bl00dy hasn't proposed yet

Now I definitely feel psychotic ha! well I call it being well prepared;)

He knows all this. And says to me 'don't worry yourself, we won't get to 4 years, I know what needs to be done' - and then I get annoyed with him saying 'what NEEDS to be done' :rotfl::rotfl:

We are committed to each other in other ways financially etc, and he has said he's ready to have a child NOW. :eek: Whereas, I tell him I would prefer to be married first.

I'm ok with a small reception - I'd be ok with the registry office - HE wants the big to-do. He's quite stuck in his ways, and what he sees as a 'wedding' is the fancy hotel, the big party etc etc. It's what all of his friends have done, and it's what he wants to do too.

I think deep down I WILL have to leave him if it gets to 4 years. And if anyone asks, I would be completely honest with them, and say that I couldn't spend my life waiting for someone to show they loved me as much as I loved them. That's not psychotic in the least, is it? LOL

hieveryone

Sophie8 wrote: »

My OH said very happily that it was his duty to propose so don't get upset over wording, they're not as goog as us when it comes to picking words

My OH and yours could be twins! He's exactly the same, posh venue big party people cherrily drinking away our money:mad: And he wants to pay for it himself. I told him almost everyone does it halfways or the one with bigger salary pays a bigger percentage etc. But he doesn't say anything. In all fairness, he can pay for a posh wedding on his own without getting ito debt. But I don't feel comfortable with leaving all paying to him.

And I couldn't agree more with the last paragraph, it's almost shocking to feel this way but this is the way it is.

:rotfl::rotfl: bl00dy men eh!

The only reason he wants a 'big' do is because 'that's what everyone does' i.e his friends. I'm actually not all that bothered with the huge planning, mainly because I know it will turn me into a huge bridezilla and secondly because my OH likes 'the finer things in life' and I know the costs would spiral. We live together so all costs would fall to us, possibly with some help from parents.

Argh they should just blooming get on with it! :rotfl:

hieveryone

Hehe you sound very organised!

Deep down a part of me couldn't be bothered to plan a wedding, really. When I think back to friends' weddings, I can't remember the colour of their linen, or their table centre pieces, yet these things become THE BE ALL AND END ALL when planning. I just don't think I could deal/be bothered with that.

I WOULD want a huge ring, though. :rotfl:

cloverfan

Well tonight yet another friend asked us when we will be getting married his reply "not for a very long time yet". After friends had gone I asked him how long is very long to which he said I don't know I just don't need the pressure of it all. He said if he didn't want to marry me he would say but there's no rush not everything needs to be done in a day.


So now I'm in bed upset and feeling hurt. If you truly love someone and want to spend your life with them then why would you need to wait? All I can think is 1) he can't love me as much as I do him and 2) he can't love as much as he did his ex

Hope everyone else is feeling happier than me xx

Andy_89

Sophie8 wrote: »

My OH said very happily that it was his duty to propose so don't get upset over wording, they're not as goog as us when it comes to picking words

I had my words all planned out - I was gonna deliver a small speech. I didn't I dropped and said will you marry me.

All I remember was my back was covered in sweat and I think I even slurred asking her.

Andy_89

Sophie8 wrote: »

I think my OH is going for a speech. He made a very heartfelt, almost proposal type speech that i thought he was proposing, but when i saw the box didn't contain a ring, i didn't let anything show ;-) i wouldn't want to pressure him even the slightest bit.

But to be honest, however you word it doesn't matter, it's the way you say it, with joy in your eyes, smiley face, etc. So i think you're golden Andy

I tried to lay the seed, I kept saying 'what would you say if I proposed to you now'

I did that when we were having our picture took, and she said;

'shut up'

Love is not dead ladies and gents.

heartbreak_star

well it wasn't the ring, no proposal...

but I do have a beautiful ring shaped like an otter with jewelled eyes I love it!!

HBS x

cloverfan

Woken up to yet another Facebook engagement announcement from friends who have been together half the time that we have :(. And off to my cousins wedding tomorrow.

OH knows he's upset me and hurt my feelings the other day as he's been being extra nice to me but I'm still really hurting. 4 weeks until our holiday and don't want to go now.

POPPYOSCAR

I do not understand how you can leave someone you are in love with just because they do not want to get married.

If you love someone surely you could not bear to be apart from them?