Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

jtr2803

:rotfl: Every now and then I realised that this thread is in the browser history but I don't think my OH would even register it, let alone read it.

Even if he did read it, it would make no difference.

I am dreading Xmas........I will probably have to deactivate my facebook for a few weeks as I read about all the numerous proposals

findingmyownway

Ooooh little update for you all. My OH started a conversation about wedding venues at the weekend, we did a fair bit of googling and he even made us drop in on one on the way home one night.

It feels like progress!!!

findingmyownway

jtr2803 wrote: »

At the same wedding, we were talking to someone I used to work with and joking about how people always say it must be your turn next, the other girlfriend was pointing out that they had been together eight years and she was still waiting. I looked at my other half and said 'you know I won't wait that long!'...his response was to annouce that he was with his ex for almost 7 years and they never got engaged, I just wished the ground would swallow me up, I don't see what their relationship has got to do with ours?!

I try not to think about it much but I can't stop myself. I have good days most of the time but when I get a bad one it really sucks.

Ooof, that is incredibly insensive, I would have been very upset too. I was with my ex for 7 years without a sniff of a proposal. He has been married before, I think that made him reluctant, but for me it just made it more hurtful that he'd married 'her' and not me. Silly I know, but true!

jtr2803

findingmyownway wrote: »

Ooooh little update for you all. My OH started a conversation about wedding venues at the weekend, we did a fair bit of googling and he even made us drop in on one on the way home one night.

It feels like progress!!!

That sounds like pretty big progress to me! :T

OH majorly hacked me off last night so today I am not bothered, can't promise I will feel the same tomorrow though!

74jax

jtr2803 wrote: »

OH majorly hacked me off last night so today I am not bothered, can't promise I will feel the same tomorrow though!

I used to get really @rsey with my OH. As though 'how dare you not know what i'm thinking' - which was pretty much all the time JUST ASK ME!!!

jtr2803

74jax wrote: »

I used to get really @rsey with my OH. As though 'how dare you not know what i'm thinking' - which was pretty much all the time JUST ASK ME!!!

Also doesn't really help that a few months ago there was a family gathering at his mums and I said something about our 3rd anniversary, his brother then decided to pipe up with 'me & kel were married by then'....umm yeah, and you had already had a baby too, just rub it in why don't you?

I just keep wondering what's wrong with me? Someone tell me I'm not alone in feeling like that?:(

NCISROCKS

Why is it the boys job to propose girls...do please get on with it yourselves!

minerva_windsong

NCISROCKS wrote: »

Why is it the boys job to propose girls...do please get on with it yourselves!

It's not their 'job' in the slightest - I have seriously considered proposing to my boyfriend myself come February 29th next year and my view on any woman who proposes to her partner is 'good on you!'. It's the feeling that if he proposed to me, I would know that it was what he wanted, and he wasn't just saying 'yes' to my proposal because he thought it would make me happy. I've mentioned this before but one of my OH's friends proposed to his girlfriend because she wanted to get engaged and he didn't but thought it'd 'keep her quiet' if he did; I do not want to be that girl because I don't think it's fair on her. Whereas if I just leave it then if it's what he wants, and the indications are it is, then he'll get to proposing eventually.

That probably sounds horribly naive and retro, but it's genuinely how I feel. I want him to want to do it, and even though he probably won't until our employment situation is much more settled, I can live with that for now.

wanchai_2

minerva_windsong wrote: »

It's not their 'job' in the slightest - I have seriously considered proposing to my boyfriend myself come February 29th next year and my view on any woman who proposes to her partner is 'good on you!'. It's the feeling that if he proposed to me, I would know that it was what he wanted, and he wasn't just saying 'yes' to my proposal because he thought it would make me happy. I've mentioned this before but one of my OH's friends proposed to his girlfriend because she wanted to get engaged and he didn't but thought it'd 'keep her quiet' if he did; I do not want to be that girl because I don't think it's fair on her. Whereas if I just leave it then if it's what he wants, and the indications are it is, then he'll get to proposing eventually.

That probably sounds horribly naive and retro, but it's genuinely how I feel. I want him to want to do it, and even though he probably won't until our employment situation is much more settled, I can live with that for now.

I totally agree. It's more about 'wanting to know that he really wants to get married' than old fashioned reticence. It was nice that he did it.

But I do take my hat off to any woman who does it too.

AllyS

findingmyownway wrote: »

Ooof, that is incredibly insensive, I would have been very upset too. I was with my ex for 7 years without a sniff of a proposal. He has been married before, I think that made him reluctant, but for me it just made it more hurtful that he'd married 'her' and not me. Silly I know, but true!

I know exactly how you feel! and he always says it is not personal and not ready to marry anyone else just yet. I guess I just have to be more patient. Oh and I have asked him several times, but he always says not yet, one day though grrrrrr!!!! haha