Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

cattyboo

Hahaha just found this thread! Lovely to read other peoples experiences.

My OH drunkenly let slip that he was going to propose on holiday this year so I got myself all worked up and excited, even let slip to a couple of work friends...but did he propose?! Did he heck! Even the most perfect secluded beach sunset moment passed by completely with not a hint of a proposal, I was so upset/disappointed/humiliated/utterly p***ed off! Unbelievable! He said he wanted it to be perfect and he'd ruined the surprise by drunkenly blurting it out, now I'm waiting and waiting...and waiting...perhaps I'm a fool. He's definitely a fool. We're probably perfect for each other

C xx

If_My_Pennies_Were_Pounds

I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years and I'm still waiting too!

I was totally gutted last year when my sister got her proposal after being with her boyfriend for exactly 1 year. They got married 6 weeks ago and we were bombarded with the 'you're next' and 'when's it your turn' comments at their wedding!

That said my boyfriend has been speaking about weddings a lot more since being an usher at their wedding.

I get a lot of people telling me to propose on the leap year but he has already told me that if I asked he'd say no out of principal as apparently 'it's the man's job to ask' and he'll do it when he's ready.

I honestly have no idea when he'll do it, I assume he won't choose obvious days like xmas, bdays, valentines etc and he is very much the type that won't be pressured in to anything. That's why I've decided to stop hinting as it only makes him dig his heels in further!

I really hope some of you get your proposals soon!

jtr2803

Welcome CattyBoo and hiya Pennies!

Well, I am proud (and afraid of the consequences) of myself because OH and I were talking about holidays at the weekend and he said that he was trying to rein me in a little or otherwise I would have 2013 booked up before he knew it. My reply was....

'Oh there will only be one holiday in 2013 but it will be quite a spectacular one because it will be my honeymoon' he looked a little suprised to say the least so I continued 'Yep, I want to get married in 2013 and I know if I wait for you, I will be waiting forever!'.

I would like to report that there was a good response to this but there wasn't.....just a nervous laugh and general silence so :mad:. I'm now going to leave it be until next summer as we are planning another trip to the Maldives for next June, so if he hasn't pulled it out of the bag by then it will be decision time!

74jax

jtr2803 wrote: »

Welcome CattyBoo and hiya Pennies!

Well, I am proud (and afraid of the consequences) of myself because OH and I were talking about holidays at the weekend and he said that he was trying to rein me in a little or otherwise I would have 2013 booked up before he knew it. My reply was....

'Oh there will only be one holiday in 2013 but it will be quite a spectacular one because it will be my honeymoon' he looked a little suprised to say the least so I continued 'Yep, I want to get married in 2013 and I know if I wait for you, I will be waiting forever!'.

I would like to report that there was a good response to this but there wasn't.....just a nervous laugh and general silence so :mad:. I'm now going to leave it be until next summer as we are planning another trip to the Maldives for next June, so if he hasn't pulled it out of the bag by then it will be decision time!

It's unbelieveably hard I know. Isn't next year a leap year? could you ask him 'offically' then? xxxxxxx

cattyboo

Ooooh I quite like the idea of a little ultimatum! February 29th it is then, if he hasn't asked by them then I'll ask for him. I can't drop hints and wait around forever, he's said before he wants it to be perfect, which is lovely of him but it never will be perfect because most of the time you have to make perfect moments not wait for them to happen. If he asked while we were doing the washing up it would be perfect.

I'd be a bit disappointed if I was the one to ask though I must admit...he's got 5 months to surprise me...

C xx

wanchai_2

Hi all

This is a very interesting thread! I have been with OH for over 5 years; I thought that he would propose quite early on and was actually very nervous at the idea of being asked too soon - in the first year or two would have been way too early!

Then, after about 3 or 4 years, I was sure that he was 'the one' and started to wonder if he was ever going to do it. He always told me that I was the one for him and that he saw our future together, but after turning 30 I began to think about having kids etc and whether I could wait forever for him to ask. No way would I have proposed, I think he wouldn't have wanted that either. I wanted him to do it, in his own time and his own way.

Anyhoo... we had a bad patch earlier this year and came very close to splitting up (initiated by me as we just weren't getting on). We came through it slowly and things really improved... then he proposed out of the blue!!!! I swear, it was not at all expected and I nearly fainted with amazement! It was a very sweet, thoughtful proposal in a place that means a lot to both of us. So after I got over the initial shock, here we are, planning our wedding. We will both be 34 getting married next year.

To the poster who said 'don't move in with your OH, it may concentrate his mind', I think you may have a point! I have lived with OH for 3 years and sometimes I wish we hadn't moved in until we got engaged... not just to make him get a move on and propose... I sort of miss my independence sometimes... but you live and learn. I guess everyone has a little nostalgia for their single days, especially when you are single and partying for most of your 20s.

Anyway, just my 2p worth.

shebangs

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jtr2803

Jax, I could ask him and I know this is going to sound petty (and obviously I have many reasons why I feel this way that I can't really divulge here) but I just refuse to. I have made myself perfectly clear on more than once occasion and if he really can't be bothered then he isn't the person I thought he was and we probably shouldn't be together. I know others will disagree but it really is that clear cut for me

Cattyboo - I hope he surprises you with something amazing!!

Wanchai - I am so glad to hear that it worked out for you. I can relate to a lot of what you wrote! It was my OH who initially started talking about getting married and because of the way in which we got together I really thought it would be quite quickly, people I work with even had bets on it happening in 2009....and we are almost in 2012! I also think I wouldn't have moved in together so quickly, I think they get complacent!

verandi

Congratulations wanchai Are there any other success stories since I last posted in this topic?

SaLoGo

My OH keeps asking me when I'm gonna marry him... I say "when you ask me properly and when you are sober" lol