Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

74jax

Gavin83 wrote: »

She isn't fussed at all as it really doesn't change the relationship at all.

That's great for you two, but to many people it does change the relationship.

Wicky84

I LOVE this thread!

I was exactly the same for years before my OH actually popped the question. Every birthday/christmas/holiday I'd be thinking 'this is it' and was always sooo disapponted when he didnt do it. He kept saying it was coming but he wanted it to be perfect.

Anyway in April we went to Dubai and all my friends and family were convinced he was going to do it, we were staying in an amazing hotel and had some fantastic activities planned but I didnt want to ruin the holiday by getting my hopes up (again). HOWEVER I decided to keep my nails in tip top condition for the entire holiday... just in case (didnt want to wear a pretty ring with shabby nails!) .

On the penultimate night of the holiday we decided to go to the gold markets and I convinced myself that maybe, just maybe he'd do it that night. Sooo just before we're set to leave I'm casually reading through a guide book and just happen to mention that jewellery is like a third of the price here compared to the UK, only to hear the dreaded words 'I'm not planning on buying any jewellery here babe - so don't be getting your hopes up'.... cue huge heart sink and teeny tiny strop! Ok I might have stormed onto the balcony with tear filled eyes muttering 'I didnt even want you to propose, why would I' blah blah blah blah.

Well that was it I decided not to stress about it anymore and instead just enjoy the holiday. We went out, had some dinner, never made it to the jewellery market and forgot all about it.

Anywoo the next day was our final day so we did loads of lovely things (swam with dolphins, sunbathed, went to the water park) and generally had a fab day. That night OH suggested I pick a nice restaurant as it was our last night and we decided to go for a walk before dinner. While walking I suggested we sit down and watch the sunset, which wasnt unusual as we often do this on hols. Next thing I know he's on one knee telling me he loves me and wants me to be his wife! I nearly pee'd myself! :jin fact all I could say was 'Are you really doing it? Now? Is it now?'!!! He'd brought a temporary ring with him and carried it round with him the whole time we were away. Then when we got home we went out and choose my actual ring together.

Looking back I'm happy he did it his way and not any of the million ways I'd planned for him in my head. It was perfect and all the more special as I'd put it to the back of my mind and wasn't stressing about it.

split_second

a male perspective:
i got together with my fiance 4th july 2010, we met in 2008 through internet dating, had a few dates and decided to be friends, we started going out 4/7/10

anyway by january or feb 2011 we were spending every night together, most of the time apart we were seeing eachother most nights from end of october, as she was living with her older sister and recovering from a liver operation.

her sister moved out and my now fiance moved in, then after a few weeks i got severley ill, she had just started a placement in liverpool, i was going to wait till our holiday to propose, i ordered a ring sizer online.
we went for a daytrip to liverpool when i started feeling better and i proposed on 5th june in the wind and rain at albert docks, engagement ring ordered, paid for and chosen by fiance (she chose i paid, just read that back lol)

trying_2_b_good

Gavin83 wrote: »

I wouldn't propose until I'd been with a girlfriend for at least 5 years, people seem to want it far too soon in a relationship. Whats the rush?

I've almost been with my girlfriend for 5 years now and due to circumstances wont be proposing for at least 3 years. She isn't fussed at all as it really doesn't change the relationship at all.

5 years is a very long time!

Saying that, it was 6 before my fiance proposed! I don't think you can really put a time frame on it like that - as everyone is in such different positions. One of my friends is getting married this year - they will have only been going out for 1.5years. Yet who's to say that's wrong? And who can say that if I had married my fiance after a year then anything would be any different now? He didn't wait 6 years because he had a time rule - it was because we had to finish uni and then I was adamant I wanted a house before a ring (why spend savings on a wedding rather than a house deposit?).

But in the 6 months after we got the house, I was desperate to get married, and was waiting for it all the time! Thank goodness he asked me! Getting married a week tomorrow!! :T

vroombroom

I'm not into big church weddings and stuff, neither is OH so it would be a simple thing, me, him, our son, abroad. We've already discussed it, so he's either got to ask before 29th Feb or I'll ask him

Gavin83

74jax wrote: »

That's great for you two, but to many people it does change the relationship.

Why though? Im not taking a dig at your post, Im just curious how it changes a relationship.

trying_2_b_good wrote: »

5 years is a very long time!

Saying that, it was 6 before my fiance proposed! I don't think you can really put a time frame on it like that - as everyone is in such different positions. One of my friends is getting married this year - they will have only been going out for 1.5years. Yet who's to say that's wrong? And who can say that if I had married my fiance after a year then anything would be any different now? He didn't wait 6 years because he had a time rule - it was because we had to finish uni and then I was adamant I wanted a house before a ring (why spend savings on a wedding rather than a house deposit?).

But in the 6 months after we got the house, I was desperate to get married, and was waiting for it all the time! Thank goodness he asked me! Getting married a week tomorrow!! :T

Congratulations on your soon to be marriage.

I respect everyone is different and if someone wants to get married after a year good for them but it wouldn't work for me. I really dont think 5 years is a long time, I just dont see what the rush is!

squ1rrel5

Ha ha love this thread!! And yes I have just found it because I am not married but stalking the wedding forum!!!!:rotfl:

My bf and I have been together 2 years now, living together and currently planning a family. My bf has always said he would prefer to be married before we have a child (as would I) so because we have started trying for a baby already I am wondering if the proposal will come soon!!!

There has been so many occasions when I thought it would but I have always been disappointed... holidays/weekends away/special occasions always get built up in my head and then when nothing happens, I get really frustrated with myself for thinking about it too much! The thing is though, we seem to talk about it ALL the time discussing the details of our potential wedding/honeymoon etc but the words 'will you marry me' or even just 'lets get married' never seem to come out!!
Half of me wants to just say it myself and see what he says but I still have the romantic ideal of the man doing it, but Im starting to think it will never come!!
I think he wants to do it but think he might just be waiting for the 'perfect' moment but I wish I could just say to him that him asking me in whatever situation would be perfect for me!! Watching TV/stuck in traffic/washing the dishes - anywhere, it would all work for me!!!

toadyfrog

I have been with the OH for 17 years now and have got fed up of waiting. The other night i said to him we are getting married next year and he said are you asking me to marry you, so I told him NO I am telling you.

74jax

Gavin83 wrote: »

Why though? Im not taking a dig at your post, Im just curious how it changes a relationship.

I really can't explain it, I think it's a very personal thing. There was a discussion earlier on this thread (starts I think at my post #63). Since we've become engaged our relationship has changed and developed already and I look forward to each and every day as his bride2be!

I really dont think 5 years is a long time, I just dont see what the rush is!

I know, it's very different for everyone, I think idiophreak said it on a post somewhere (apologies if it wasn't him) but he said something about he could have got married in year 2013 when they'd saved up for it, but have opted for 2012 as he couldn't wait another year for her to be his wife.

toadyfrog wrote: »

I have been with the OH for 17 years now and have got fed up of waiting. The other night i said to him we are getting married next year and he said are you asking me to marry you, so I told him NO I am telling you.

That's brilliant! oooo and congratulations!

SaLoGo

mayforher wrote: »

SO glad someone started this thread.

My OH is tormenting me and I think he gets some sick pleasure out of it! Haha.

We have been together 3 and a half years and we have discussed marriage loads, he constantly says “cant wait until your my wife” etcetc but hasn’t actually proposed! He then said he would prefer if I picked out the ring so it would be something I liked, so I went through the agony of finding the perfect ring, absolutely loved it, he got all the details and said “leave it with me” nudgenudgewinkwink.

3 months later I’m still waiting and I know he hasn’t got the ring because I know he hasn’t for many reasons, and he keeps saying “I want it to be a lovely surprise, I only plan on doing it once and I want it to be perfect” which is LOVELY don’t get me wrong but I am SO impatient and I feel like he’s dangling a big fat carrot (or carat! Hahahahahahahaa). And he knows I want to get married next year so he’s cutting it a bit fine, I have a lot of planning to do yknow!! Anyway I’ve tried to shut up about it but it’s so frustrating I could scream! glad I’m not the only one!

My OH is very similar... we have talked about weddings in general and how we'd do things. He sits there and says he will put a ring on my finger one day... one day when? When I'm 80?? lol
It's come up a lot in the last few months and the suspension is killing me!!! He tends to bring it up more than I do!
We're going away for the weekend for my birthday in November to a posh hotel and I often wonder if he'll do it then :think: Only 12 weeks to wait and find out!