Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

double_mummy

YAY congrats valos!!!!!

jtr2803

WOW, congratulations Valos, that must have been such a lovely surprise! :beer:

I have almost totally given up on the idea of me and OH getting married, he hasn't even mentioned it despite our heart to heart in June and we went to my friends wedding reception on Friday and all he had to say about it on the way home was 'I don't see the point in wedding receptions, the bride should go out with her friends, the groom should go out with his friends and then they should have a family meal as it's all just pointless' :eek:.

Yeah I'll just give up all hope now................

Ruby_Roo

I'm another long term girlfriend who could have given up all hope of getting engaged. However, we were at his 23 yo cousin's wedding a couple of weeks ago and I think he was pleasantly surprised how lovely it was, and realised that marriage is about showing love and commitment, and not something to be scared of. We've also chucked ideas around about weddings, and we've agreed we would only get hitched abroad.

So I think now that we're buying a house, we're agreed we wouldn't do the big white wedding and he's realised that weddings/marriage aren't terrifying - a proposal might be forthcoming before too long. However, we're happy as we are, and I know that he does everything in his own time, so life goes on. Though the wedding is already planned in my head, haha - sad or what

SaLoGo

Ruby_Roo wrote: »

The wedding is already planned in my head, haha - sad or what

Not at all... so is mine!

July2012

I definitely had my insane moments.

We were very young when we got together and bought our first place sun we were 20.
This for me was a huge step as I was religious and always thought I would be married or at least engaged to be married by the time I was living with someone, but circumstance didn't allow.

Anyway, years flew by, and it was a topic of conversation that was quite freely talked about (mostly started by me), and he always told me that he wanted to marry me and just wasn't ready yet.

He also thought that buying a place together was commitment enough.

I would regulary get upset, and believed that he couldn't possibly love me if he could be happy just floating along without making the next step.

I was planning on leaving him, as I knew kids would eventually be important to me, and hear horror stories all the time of people who have left it too late.

Anyway, he put my mind at rest, (a few times) by promising it was on the cards, but he wanted it to be a surprise.

6 years later we sold out first place an were about to move house, and he popped the question a month before we were due to move.

He knew that it was important to me and that way we started a fresh in our new house.

Things did change when we got engaged. We were both happier and more content with each other and excited for the future. Our relationship improved massively an I felt like I fell in love all over again.

Since getting engaged (14 months ago) he has let slip a few reasons why he took as long as he did . 1 - that marriage leads to babies. We both want them, but neither of us want then straight away. And no matter how many times you discuss and agree you want the same things, they never seem to take it in, or don't believe you anyway.

The 2nd reason was that he was apprehensive of what the actual wedding would entail. Neither of us had been to a wedding before. Since then we have been to 4 and we are both more excited at the thought of it now after seeing how amazing it can be.

After being engaged for a year, we started to plan for a July 2012 date.

He wants to be involved in every aspect of planning and has a say in everything (I call him groomzilla)

I have to say, that it's not all plain sailing once the planning starts. I never thought it could be so stressful.
And I honestly do have second thoughts creeping in to my mind on a regular occaision.

Before we were engaged, I was worried he didn't love me.

Now we are engaged, I worry he will change, I worry I will change, inworry the stress of planning will split us apart, I worry that we have let ourselves go and will no longer find eachother attractive, I worry things will go stale, I worry that he or myself will change out minds about babies, I worry that I am making a terrible mistake and that I should have never wished to be married in the first place and kept things the way they were, I worry that my unmarried friends are jealous and don't feel comfortable being around me as much, I worry that when I see them that I won't be able to talk about the wedding at all as some of them are upset that they haven't got a proposal yet, I worry of what is expected of me, I worry that my Fh will never stop snoring (which is why I've been awake since 4am!)

adamg

As someone who never thought I would propose I finally did it last Sunday after just over three years. We were on our first foreign holiday together in Las Vegas. While she was having a afternoon nap I went off to Tiffany and Co and brought a ring. Although for the past 3 years I had shown no interest I had paid attention everytime she dragged me past a ring shop and looked at rings. Got her exactly what she was after platinum diamond engagment ring. Had to sneak it back into hotel and into ruck sack we took with us on day.
We were going down to the grand canyon and had rented a Ford GT Mustang (feel free to google). When we got there it was busy actually over looking the grand canyon which is where I had intended to ask as she had always said she wanted it to be somewhere private, but there was a little 'indian' village behind. In this village was a mud/wood hut we were looking inside and it was beautiful there was a hole in the roof to let smoke out when they cooked and it let a beam of light down onto the floor of the hut. I went down on one knee here took her hand in mine and asked. She said yes!!! The next few hours were a daze of excitment and her trying to find a public pay phone to call her mum. We then went back to hotel where we got dressed up and for dinner. She had no idea where we were going. Went down to The Hotel Mandalay Bay up 64 floors to MIX restuarant which is set over looking the Las Vegas Strip. The decoration inside was amazing and the view was so good. The dinner is quite possibly the best I have ever had 7 courses in total with great service. Finished off with a little bit of gambling at casino where I won a few hundred dollars.
When we got home I let her walk in first...... I had decorated the whole house in rose petals, streamers, party poppers, happy engagment banners, my friend had come over that morning and brought fresh roses and placed them round the house.
So people waiting for a proposal just be patient if I can find the heart to do it i'm sure your other halfs can as well!

SaLoGo

adamg wrote: »

As someone who never thought I would propose I finally did it last Sunday after just over three years. We were on our first foreign holiday together in Las Vegas. While she was having a afternoon nap I went off to Tiffany and Co and brought a ring. Although for the past 3 years I had shown no interest I had paid attention everytime she dragged me past a ring shop and looked at rings. Got her exactly what she was after platinum diamond engagment ring. Had to sneak it back into hotel and into ruck sack we took with us on day.
We were going down to the grand canyon and had rented a Ford GT Mustang (feel free to google). When we got there it was busy actually over looking the grand canyon which is where I had intended to ask as she had always said she wanted it to be somewhere private, but there was a little 'indian' village behind. In this village was a mud/wood hut we were looking inside and it was beautiful there was a hole in the roof to let smoke out when they cooked and it let a beam of light down onto the floor of the hut. I went down on one knee here took her hand in mine and asked. She said yes!!! The next few hours were a daze of excitment and her trying to find a public pay phone to call her mum. We then went back to hotel where we got dressed up and for dinner. She had no idea where we were going. Went down to The Hotel Mandalay Bay up 64 floors to MIX restuarant which is set over looking the Las Vegas Strip. The decoration inside was amazing and the view was so good. The dinner is quite possibly the best I have ever had 7 courses in total with great service. Finished off with a little bit of gambling at casino where I won a few hundred dollars.
When we got home I let her walk in first...... I had decorated the whole house in rose petals, streamers, party poppers, happy engagment banners, my friend had come over that morning and brought fresh roses and placed them round the house.
So people waiting for a proposal just be patient if I can find the heart to do it i'm sure your other halfs can as well!

That sounds amazing... can you have a word with my OH please?

alipops1986

We finally the ring - now just awaiting the official proposal!

I have no idea when, where or how this will happen!!

Ruby_Roo

Adamg - that sounds utterly beautiful, she's a lucky girl

minerva_windsong

My OH's sister got married yesterday and so we spent most of the weekend being asked when it was going to be our turn. He did say 'Not just yet' a few times, so there's hope yet...

Although that said it did make me realise that I'd be a rubbish bride because I can't mingle to save my life and I'd hate the attention, but equally that I couldn't elope because of the amount of people that would be upset (although people would be upset no matter what I did or didn't do). Maybe I'm just not the wedding kind...

Ruby_Roo wrote: »

Adamg - that sounds utterly beautiful, she's a lucky girl

I agree with this Congratulations to you both - hope you have a lovely wedding and a very happy marriage.