Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

savvy

Well butterflylady......I would suggest he may just need a bit of time at the mo? He's literally only just become divorced, he may have some mixed feelings about marriage at the mo, so I could understand why he may not want to rush straight into it.......despite the fact this is probably the moment you have been waiting for

I say give him some time and no pressure for a while, then revisit the talks you had previously in a few months time? I know that's not what you want right now.........but do you want to potentially drive him away?

Alarae

My current situation drives me up the wall, and I'm not sure how I am going to last much longer. My boyfriend and I have both quite openly discussed marriage, and know we want to get married (after buying a house though, although I wouldn't care about getting a fancy wedding but I think he wants the country house wedding).

The proposal will be at some point this year as he has a 'date in mind'... However I only know this because the idiot told me he bought a ring in Dec last year! It's driving me nuts knowing it's around but I can't have it. I'm probably being a bit childish but I just wish he didn't tell me he bought one, so I would be totally in the dark. Now it's just a small nagging feeling at the back of my mind!

I got my own personal sense of justice by buying him a ring and saying he can't have it until I get mine. This has backfired though, as I hate keeping back gifts and just want to give them straight away!

I did mention a couple of weeks ago that if he doesn't propose by the beginning of Autumn I will be kicking him in the back of the leg to make him go down on one knee, one way or another! :rotfl:

19lottie82

I didn't get a surprise proposal, it was just a case of me nagging at him until he caved in!

butterflylady

Still waiting, still fed up. Really just want to sit and cry.

Had half conversations about it as it's guaranteed to start a row, been told I'm the love of his life, that he wants to grow old with me!! Then he told his mum he wanted to get married for the right reasons!! It's a joke if there not the right reasons I don't no what are!!

Got so cross this morning when we were discussing something totally irrelevant I told he didn't care about me and that he never know when I'm upset or cares if he does realise!! He didn't even react, just ignored me!!

Anatidaephobia

butterflylady wrote: »

Still waiting, still fed up. Really just want to sit and cry.

Had half conversations about it as it's guaranteed to start a row, been told I'm the love of his life, that he wants to grow old with me!! Then he told his mum he wanted to get married for the right reasons!! It's a joke if there not the right reasons I don't no what are!!

Got so cross this morning when we were discussing something totally irrelevant I told he didn't care about me and that he never know when I'm upset or cares if he does realise!! He didn't even react, just ignored me!!

If he only just got divorced, maybe he needs some time. He probably has some negative connotations with marriage right now so maybe he needs a bit of a break from it. After some time has passed, he'll feel ready to move on and think about married life with you with fresh eyes. He obviously loves you and is committed to you.

Kayalana99

Sorry I suppose most of you know this but curouisty got the better of me what happened to the OP but I CBA to go though the thread so I back tracked her posts...

jtr2803 wrote: »

Having had a discussion with my other half today following our reception last night

Good luck to anyone waiting - Can I just say what took me the most by surprise was the lack of communication between the OP and OH? She was asked why on a lot of occasions and her reply was she didn't know she hadn't asked - I just don't understand that because surely your not ready for marriage if you can't discuss these things? (In other words if you don't know find out!!)

Or maybe that's just me!

Glad it turned out well for her in the end

Kayalana99

butterflylady wrote: »

Still waiting, still fed up. Really just want to sit and cry.

Had half conversations about it as it's guaranteed to start a row, been told I'm the love of his life, that he wants to grow old with me!! Then he told his mum he wanted to get married for the right reasons!! It's a joke if there not the right reasons I don't no what are!!

Got so cross this morning when we were discussing something totally irrelevant I told he didn't care about me and that he never know when I'm upset or cares if he does realise!! He didn't even react, just ignored me!!

- I feel your pain but not everyone feels like you, he has JUST got his divorce though that isn't an excuse to propose! That's massive alarm bells for people that marriage isn't something to be taken lightly, Give him time

Getting married for the right reasons - that doesn't mean he doesn't love you or want to get married to you just simply that he wants to do it when HE is ready and not because he is pushed into it. (Sounds like a typical stubborn response that he knows you want it but because it wasn't his idea he's not going to do it )

74jax

Kayalana99 wrote: »

what happened to the OP but I CBA to go though the thread so I back tracked her posts...

Good luck to anyone waiting - Can I just say what took me the most by surprise was the lack of communication between the OP and OH? She was asked why on a lot of occasions and her reply was she didn't know she hadn't asked - I just don't understand that because surely your not ready for marriage if you can't discuss these things? (In other words if you don't know find out!!)

Maybe you should read the thread and you'll find that pretty much everyone on here (me included) has/had spoken in length to OH, it maybe just is in the threads you've not seen.

I agree communication is key, but if one partner doesn't want to commit right now and the other is, then it can be hard. this thread isn't about those whose partners DONT want to commit, it's those that are saying 'one day' hence 'waiting' for a proposal.

Sarah-V

I'm waiting at the moment and it's driving me crazy.

We've talked about marriage and we both want to be together, but we're in the middle of trying to buy a house. The OH wants to get me a 'perfect' ring, so is talking about spending 5k + which seems ridiculous when we just can't do that right now.

I've told him I'd be happy with a ring from Claire's accessories but he wants to do it 'properly', and so I have to wait.

butterflylady

Afternoon ladies,

I am trying so hard to give him space but still feel like I'm second best, my 7 year old has picked up on how sad I am at the minute but oh still buys my excuses it's the onions, I burnt my hand, all white lies to stop the row that will come!!

The more I feel like this, the bigger the wedge I can feel between us normally we talk about everything.

Started to prepare myself to being on my own again, looking back I no my ex's attitude to marriage the if u change I'll marry you started to cause us to drift apart long before the really bad !!!! kicked off.