Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

tillyenna

Awww HBS, all I can suggest is explaining to him why marriage means so much to you, and explaining (again probably) that you don't want a big day... maybe one day he'll come around to it - I guess it's a fine line between not letting him forget that it is what you want and nagging about it (which will probably only make things worse) - I do feel for you *hugs*

heartbreak_star

Thankyou tillyenna I have never considered marrying before - even to the guy I was with for 10+ years - but this feels right.

I wouldn't even be changing my name, we would go on as usual...but I'd just love to be his wife!

HBS x

hieveryone

Maybe I should add myself to this thread...

Been with my boyfriend for since April 2011... lived together since October 2011. I am now 29 and he is 33.

I've hinted and hinted, and been very blatant too. His family all hint, and we get the old 'it'll be you next' at gatherings etc. All our joint friends are married/having babies and I'm left behind.

We can live in hope!!

savvy

I had to laugh at myself reading this thread I am soooo the opposite of you guys :eek: I have successfully ducked out of it twice :j :j and remained staunchly anti-marriage, have always said that they would have to drag me kicking and screaming up the aisle, and even then there was no guarantee I wouldn't make a bolt for the vicar's vestry or climb up the bell tower and abseil down and sprint away :cool:

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

he couldn't see the point in getting married etc etc etc, and that stems from too many divorces in his family.

That figured in it for me as I got older, and so just could not see the point of the expense and fuss and endless faff and having to put up with my mother for a whole day and night!! When I was younger, I was adamant I wouldn't belong to a man and just be known as the 'wife', and certainly was not going to change my name, and it all culminate into me losing my identity!!!

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I also get the feeling he thinks it's a bit of a waste of money...but I don't want platinum and diamond rings or a Vera Wang dress...just a nice, simple, quiet ceremony with a party for our friends and family afterwards.
HBS x

I do!!!! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:After falling madly in love with a man I knew 20 years ago, just 20 months ago, I have a palladium engagement ring with a few modest diamonds, so will have a wedding ring to match that, and love Vera Wang's more alternative wedding dresses in black and nude. Un-blimmin-believable!!! :eek: The staunchly anti-wedding girl has even actually gone to wedding fairs last year (although had a panic attack in a chintz bridal room and nearly threw up!!), and was even disappointed when our date last year came and went due to no money :eek::o:eek: What a turn around hey

So my moral is.............never say never girls, you really never know, I absolutely baulked at the idea for years and years.........now I can't flamin wait!!! Umm but obviously have to until we have some money

CupOfChai wrote: »

Hoping he might start to fancy the idea of marrying me at some point soon, maybe as more of his friends start doing it he'll start to feel like he's at that stage too.

No idea how long he's going to take with that though, the man is already 31 for god's sake!

HA!! Be patient, it took me til 45 to feel remotely ready

Georgiegirl256

Ha! You sound like me savvy! I'm really glad I'm married, but I was never one of these girls who planned her wedding from the age of 13 (article in the Daily Mail!), and I would flinch at the mention of marriage, as would my DH....but, as we got older, we realised it was something we wanted to do, and even really got into the wedding planning lol! Hell, I don't know what's happened to me, 8 months on, and my new addiction is Four Weddings!

I'm a total contradiction though....I love being married and being a wife, but I also find weddings a weird concept in a way....I guess it's because I hate being on show, and all that lovey dovey stuff! I get all teary eyed watching other people get married, but didn't get emotional at my own. I even picked out a lovely sparkley ring which I love....to look at, but don't wear it as I don't like to wear jewellery. With hindsight, I should have went for a cheaper one really.

I also said that I wasn't going to change my name either, but I did, but sometimes wish I hadn't as everyone keeps on saying "how do you spell that then?" :mad:
I love the sound of that Vera Wang wedding dress btw!

FBaby

HBS, unconsciously, he might be testing your commitment. By standing by him despite him not giving you what you wish so much for, you are showing that he really is the most important thing to you. It might very well give him the reassurance that he needs to finally accept that you are totally committed to your relationship and make him relax and even start thinking what if? If you love him, don't give up and maybe one day, he will surprise you.

Tashatutuw

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I also said that I wasn't going to change my name either, but I did, but sometimes wish I hadn't as everyone keeps on saying "how do you spell that then?" :mad:
I love the sound of that Vera Wang wedding dress btw!

This is what I am most worried about changing my name - he really wants me to and say's it is very important to him so I have agreed but I have a lovely maiden name, very straight forward... His name isn't too bad but EVERYONE asks how its spelt (even though its very much spelt how it sounds) and even his own family (from his mothers side) spell it wrong!! :think: :think:

savvy

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Ha! You sound like me savvy! I'm really glad I'm married, but I was never one of these girls who planned her wedding from the age of 13 (article in the Daily Mail!), and I would flinch at the mention of marriage, as would my DH....but, as we got older, we realised it was something we wanted to do, and even really got into the wedding planning lol! Hell, I don't know what's happened to me, 8 months on, and my new addiction is Four Weddings!

I'm a total contradiction though....I love being married and being a wife, but I also find weddings a weird concept in a way....I guess it's because I hate being on show, and all that lovey dovey stuff! I get all teary eyed watching other people get married, but didn't get emotional at my own. I even picked out a lovely sparkley ring which I love....to look at, but don't wear it as I don't like to wear jewellery. With hindsight, I should have went for a cheaper one really.

I also said that I wasn't going to change my name either, but I did, but sometimes wish I hadn't as everyone keeps on saying "how do you spell that then?" :mad:
I love the sound of that Vera Wang wedding dress btw!

OMG we could be twins :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:I always thought I was out on my own with is, so glad to hear I'm not alone in it Were you a punk or a tomboy at any point?? LOL just wondering if it's that that does it?

Yep same here, don't fancy being on show and not lovey dovey either, ooooo I used to cringe when it came to wedding talk of any kind, and have never understood everyone cooing over it......so clearly I won't be a Bridezilla. BUT I do know what I want, a nice alternative, rustic style, with me looking like a ship wrecked person or Miss Haversham stylee :cool: So that's why I like this Wang and this Wang :rotfl:

savvy

Tashatutuw wrote: »

This is what I am most worried about changing my name - he really wants me to and say's it is very important to him so I have agreed but I have a lovely maiden name, very straight forward... His name isn't too bad but EVERYONE asks how its spelt (even though its very much spelt how it sounds) and even his own family (from his mothers side) spell it wrong!! :think: :think:

Can you not go double-barrelled??

I never wanted to lose my name and identity, but my life has changed dramatically now and waters are not so clear, so if anything, changing will now give me a sense of belonging for the first time in my life.

duchy

Tashatutuw wrote: »

This is what I am most worried about changing my name - he really wants me to and say's it is very important to him so I have agreed but I have a lovely maiden name, very straight forward... His name isn't too bad but EVERYONE asks how its spelt (even though its very much spelt how it sounds) and even his own family (from his mothers side) spell it wrong!! :think: :think:

Ha ! My maiden name was originally Lithuanian so I'd always have to spell it...I married a man with a four letter surname - very simple and easy....and I STILL get asked how you spell it