Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

HeadAboveWater

VERY much appreciated!!

Start with HBS - she's been waiting longer than me!!

redfragglebiker

Hahaha - Form an orderly queue!
HBS gets first dibs on the complimentary shake!

Only_a_ginger

I've bought a ring!

:eek:

heartbreak_star

Muahahahahah I shall arrange the complimentary shake thankyou!

Only a ginger - YAAAAAY! Good luck (and where are the obligatory pictures?)

HBS x

redfragglebiker

Ooooh best of luck Ginger! Keep us all updated.

*gets shaking gloves on for HBS*

wangdoodle

Good luck Only a ginger how exciting!

Congrats redfraggle

No change here. My birthday came and went, nothing. Then my youngest sister got engaged. I found it really hard to be happy for her and I feel evil for being so selfish.

All the ladies who have got their engagements, I do appreciate your words of encouragement. However it's very easy to say just relax with hindsight. It's harder to do when you don't believe it will ever happen for you

Sorry for the rant, just a bad week..

CharlieRabbit01

Hello all, so i've read a few posts and thought this was quite an interesting one to follow.

Of those who are desperate for a proposal have you actually spoken to your OH's about getting married?

CharlieRabbit01

lucky_charm wrote: »

Thanks very much for your reply. I can't live with him yet unfortunately, wasn't sure how many details to give as it might make it really obvious if anyone i know ever reads this who I am but oh well hopefully they won't!

The reason is my job, which means I have to work at the other side of the country, so I rent a flat where I work, and he stays with his parents in our hometown where he works. My parents stay really close to his parents so I come home every weekend and stay at home with them so we can both see each other. It's not ideal at all but I had to take this job as it is necessary for me to be able to work in the in the profession I studied to be in and I couldn't get one in a commutable distance from home. So I need to do a certain length of contract (still over a year left) and then I'll be able to apply for jobs back home. The job market for the career I am trained in is terrible at the moment so even once I do finish this job and start looking for another it could take a long time- we plan to start looking for a house as soon as I have full time, permanent work at a commutable distance from my home town but that could well even be over 2 years from now. OH has an OK salary but not the kind of money that we could move out on his wage alone.

I'm only 26 which I know is young but to me it's not that young and I've been ready to go up a level in comitment with OH for a few years now. Out of interest how long had you been with your OH before you lived together? The reason I ask is that we will likely have been together 10 years by the time we move in together, plus we are choosing to buy a house because by that time we will want to be on the property ladder, so I still don't really get that he wants to see what it's like when we live together before getting engaged because to me that's like saying I feel enough commitment to buy a property with you, but once we do I might not like living with you, I am still not sure after 8/9/10 years, and if I don't like it I'll leave and we'll sell the house again. I honestly can't see him ever leaving me but it makes me panic that we could be together for so long and then at the age of say 28 or 29 I could be left heartbroken, forced to move out of a house I had painstakingly and lovingly picked with him and forced to move back in with my parents. I don't actually think that living with him will be plain sailing (I think based on what I know of him I'll have to do all the cleaning, nag him about helping with the cleaning or hire a cleaner none of which are ideal) but I love him and I'm trying not to look at this through rise tinted glasses and to be pragmatic and think, we will move through these things and work it out. Whereas he says things like 'I hope you won't nag when we live together' and sometimes I think he wants it to be perfect and harmonious or he won't be happy with it and I know it is just not going to be like that, we have fights now and again now, that will still happen and they will likely even get worse at first til we find a balance that suits, and I am at the stage where I'm ready to work at it for better or for worse. It just hurts to think he isn't at that stage yet, and it is so hard thinking that I just need to wait for an indefinite time before be is. The other thing is we want to have children and we both want to be married before then and after I told him the stats around fertility he agreed that we should try for our first child before I'm 30 so I feel like there's a ticking clock over my head on that front too.

Hi Lucky Charm,

I think it is a good idea to live with each other first, I've had 3 friends marry then move in together with the following results:

couple 1: still living together happily after 5 years of marriage 9 years in a relationship.

couple 2: she was OCD he was the messiest person in the world 6 months later they split up

couple 3: childhood sweethearts, been together for 14 years, married then moved in 9 months later split as they just didn't work together in the same house.

HeadAboveWater

CharlieRabbit01 wrote: »

Of those who are desperate for a proposal...

Dunno if I'd go quite that far!! :rotfl:

wangdoodle wrote: »

It's harder to do when you don't believe it will ever happen for you

I hear you wangdoodle *hugs*
I'm in same situation as you OH was married once before and going by how that turned out.... well... I'm not gonna expect a proposal ever, never mind soon!

(hence there's really no reason you should be wasting your shakes in this direction redfragglebiker )

CharlieRabbit01

HeadAboveWater wrote: »

Dunno if I'd go quite that far!! :rotfl:

some of the posts i've read sounded a little desperate.