Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

citizenkitten

Only_a_ginger wrote: »

I don’t know if I want to propose, could I just say ‘lets go get married?’ or doesn’t it work like that… :P

I can tell you from a previous poster that for her, when Mr X agreed to marriage she took that as her engagement. after all that is the key bit right?

I am also in the same position, I am technically not engaged but we decided to get married last august, after we had a discussion as to where our relationship was going and then we decided we should get married - how very romantic... lol :rotfl:our wedding is in less than 6 months and still no ring.

as many people on here would say, it is about the marriage, not the proposal or the wedding.

LEJC wrote: »

Absolutely your decision and good luck to you...but do you mind me asking if you are doing everything else traditionally too...ie do you already have children or a home together?

Im just curious if you just pick certain parts of "tradition" to follow then thats where there becomes less of an incentive to marry...

moved in together after 2 weeks of knowing each other into my single university room.... however we both believe in no kids before marriage, man to do the proposal, man to do most the driving, woman to do most the cooking, he does the laundry, hoovering, washing up, etc, I do the bathrooms and the hobs etc. so dont know how traditional that is?? lol we are both quite conservative fellows though. I only do the cooking because I am good at it, and he does the driving as he has the bigger more comfy car!

heartbreak_star

LEJC wrote: »

Absolutely your decision and good luck to you...but do you mind me asking if you are doing everything else traditionally too...ie do you already have children or a home together?

Im just curious if you just pick certain parts of "tradition" to follow then thats where there becomes less of an incentive to marry...

Please dont think im judging anyone it purely is out of curiousity that I wonder why the tradition of the man proposing is more important to you than seemingly other important or traditional factors

It could however be that men just mature at a slower rate than women and are much less decisive than the female sex!

Maybe I phrased it wrong, I didn't want to drag anyone into my insecurity...

...it would be lovely to have my OH prize me enough that he formally asks me to remain with him until we leave this earth.

Last time...I didn't really feel prized or wanted. I know it's super-personal!

Oh, we do have a house but we don't ever want kids.

HBS x

LEJC

Only_a_ginger wrote: »

Thanks for the warm welcome J

Just to clarify, I wasn’t meaning to sound like I was ‘having a go’ or being mean or anything, I genuinely am curious and find the woman’s perspective quite interesting.



I don’t know if I want to propose, could I just say ‘lets go get married?’ or doesn’t it work like that… :P

And I too find the mans perspective really interesting too...so if its come across that im harsh in anyway towards the posters here thats really not the case....

My OHs "accidental proposal is documented somewhere on this site but just to recap 6 weeks after our first date we had a general "where do you see yourself in a few years time" chat whilst in a pub...and I remember him saying "do you want to get married"...to which I replied...."yes of course...one day!"

that was apparently his proposal...and my acceptance according to him and I thought no more of it ....the following saturday he shows up at my parents house and calmly announces that we're off to buy the ring....apparently i'd been engaged for 3 days and hadn't even realised...

I guess if I'm honest I probably would have liked a more romantic proposal...but in reality life isnt always perfect or how you imagine it will be when you are a little girl...and to be honest I've had more fun recounting the non proposal over the years than if he had been more traditional with his approach....and afterall its the 20 years Ive spent with him since as his wife that ive enjoyed more too than waiting for that "perfect" monent to propose!

heartbreak_star

That's so cute though

HBS x

cats2012

Aww that is cute! So nice you knew you were "meant to be"!

My OH proposed after 2 years together (athough we'd known each other a bit longer) and we're now married after being "official" for just over 4. Although we have lived together a while I would never have had kids before marriage and I always wanted to be married early (we're both mid twenties) as we are now building our lives together as a married couple, having already said yep we're in this for the long haul!

Having said that it is each to their own - I only worry when I don't think the guy is actually committed enough (this is happening with a friend of mine) rather than if a couple are clearly 100% committed but marriage is just not their thing. At the end of the day literally nothing has changed since being married, we did it fairly small and cheap (so limited the financial impact) and now all that's different is my name! So sometimes when the guy is just passive (as with friend) I really don't get it when it would mean the world to her...especially when my OH keeps saying how much he loves having a wife

Only_a_ginger

LEJC - that is a pretty cool story!

Maybe I should just book a registry office and take her 1 day...

We will have been together 5 years in May...and I definetly want to spend the rest of my life with her, I've known that for ages.

We have a house together, no kids but hopefully in the next few years we will have.

Hmmm...maybe I shouldn't post in a 'woman's' thread, bringing me out all emotional!

Kayalana99

I never really understood why I got engaged to my ex.

He basicly proposed about a year in, and I said yes but we were together two and a half years and not ONCE did marriage and kids come up...even tho we was engaged!! I think the only thing we did talk about was living together which we did for a while but that didn't help things....

I guess we was fighting to much to have a 'Where is this relationship going' conversation:rotfl:

My OH and I got engaged after 6months and were having our 2 kids first and we have brought a house together. :-) Marriage is always on the table but we have put getting on the ladder first and will be saving up for our wedding soon although we have already set a date which was the day we got together...which happened to be the same day my Mum & dad got married (divored tho -.-) ...& same day my nan & my great nan were married so even tho its a 2014 date its whether we can raise the funds!!

getting-sorted-sarah

Isn't it the OP's wedding day today?!

Kayalana99

getting-sorted-sarah wrote: »

Isn't it the OP's wedding day today?!

To be fair they all planned thiers to be on the same date...so that wasnt a conidence..ours was though.

It does seem abit far fetched without mentioning that. :rotfl:

Turtle

Yes it is the OPs wedding day today.