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Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

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  • Chick
    Chick Posts: 140 Forumite
    I feel a bit guilty posting this as we're all on a bit of a downer, but my comment about going to Cornwall has in fact turned out to be sort-of accurate - OH proposed on Tuesday! :) QUOTE]

    Oooooh congratulations Minerva, what fantastic news! I remember reading your post as you were about to head to Cornwell, saying how it would nice to get a ring...funny how things become true!:T
  • Chick
    Chick Posts: 140 Forumite
    Skintski wrote: »
    Or she could not have pressured him and he might still be in her life and in time he could have been ready to marry her. He proposed because he knew how desperately she wanted it but that's not the right reason. I don't feel that either partner should feel they HAVE to propose just because that is what their partner wants. It's not fair.

    I'm pleased for everyone who has been proposed to but I know if I'd have pressured my other half it would really have taken the shine off it for both of us. I'm happy knowing he was ready to marry me as much as I was to marry him.:)

    It's such a fine balance between discussing these things as adults and then putting the pressure on...so much emotion involved it is difficult to keep a clear head.

    I am so grateful to have this thread so I can come here and rant, read other people's situations etc.

    You're right Skintski it's not fair to pressure...I do not want my OH to propose to me cause it's what I want/will make me happy/feels pressured into it. Those are the worst reasons and IMO can lead to disaster further down the line, as you friend has experienced- that is so sad for her after 7 years.

    However, the flip side is- how long can you go on waiting? that is up to the individual to decide, but there comes a point when you wonder if it will ever happen and that's when people like me end up posting on this thread :rotfl:
  • squ1rrel5
    squ1rrel5 Posts: 784 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Combo Breaker
    Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! My 2 month old engagement ring has cracked down the middle!!
    I am fuming!!!!!!
  • findingmyownway
    findingmyownway Posts: 1,803 Forumite
    eh? cracked in the stone? or the metal? either one is not good!!!!
  • squ1rrel5
    squ1rrel5 Posts: 784 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Combo Breaker
    I swiftly took it back to the jewellers and made sure they knew I was devastated - they couldnt even explain how it had happened - the manager of the shop was baffled and said had never seen a break like it! But they were super apologetic and have promised to have it sorted for me by tomorrow!!
  • findingmyownway
    findingmyownway Posts: 1,803 Forumite
    Phew, that's good.

    I just saw u r getting married 2 days after me! Not a convo to have on this thread but I'd be interested to see how u r getting on. *off to bump the aug2012 thread*
  • rdchick
    rdchick Posts: 1,815 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    so hands up if you're still sat on the bleachers waiting to be asked?!

    Can't be many of us now?!

    Went to my ex boyfriends wedding on Saturday - was lovely - cried as ever because like someone else said earlier - they wish it was them getting married. He was the last person to dump me (7 years ago) and he left me for the girl he married - who is also lovely so as much as I hated her at the time I am very happy for them now....

    As for my sad state of a relationship, we're still together but I don't know for how long as I quote 'he doesn't know if he will ever want what I want' ie: marriage and kids... 2 years next year and it's all changed, we got together and I was his 'one' now he doesn't want me. Hurts like hell. Even though all the way through the wedding on Saturday he was saying 'when we get married...'

    mixed signals and I don't know where I stand because he doesn't know what he wants.

    Oh and it's definitely wedding season... TV listings are full of 'wedding' movies :'(

    ON OTHER NOTES

    congratulations to everyone I have missed who has got engaged since I have been AWOL! xxx
    Life is too short not to love what you do.
  • Chick
    Chick Posts: 140 Forumite
    edited 8 July 2012 at 10:51AM
    ha ha my hand is definitely up!

    My OH sounds similar to yours in the sense that he appears to not know what he wants, therefore is giving out mixed messages leading to me not knowing where I stand in the relationship!

    He's 30, I'm 34...together 4 years...discussed marriage & kids after a couple of years and he was definitely keen, now not so sure.

    It's so difficult...I always assumed he'd just ask me to marry him and we'd get on with things, I just went with the flow and was sure it would happen one day, but now I'm beginning to panic about everything- mainly about leaving it too late to have a baby.

    Every time I log into FB- another wedding, engagement or pregnancy...it shouldn't, but this all really gets to making me feel :(
  • rdchick
    rdchick Posts: 1,815 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Exactly the same Chick. :(

    We are currently 'on a break' (everytime I say that I hear Ross from friends say WE WERE ON A BREAK!

    Normally I would say jog on if someone wanted a break as it usually ends messy, however I am clutching at straws to stay together. I am back at mum and dads while he thinks about what he wants. I don't know what's going to happen, on one hand I think it will be fine, he'll realise he wants it and me and we'll be happy but the other thinks he's just buying time and will eventually leave me. I guess I will find out at some point this week but I am really cut up.

    Yesterday was the first time I have ever seen him cry, he was like a little boy and he said sorry for ruining everything and that he will really miss me while I am gone. He tells me he still loves me but I am just scared that it's all over :( xxx
    Life is too short not to love what you do.
  • Turtle
    Turtle Posts: 999 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts
    :(:(:( Hope things work out fine for you rdchick.
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