Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

minerva_windsong

Quite a few of us have said that it makes us sad/upset when people we know announce or talk about their upcoming weddings, or even going to people's weddings - part of me is dreading going to our friend's wedding in July because we will get the endless 'so when are you two getting married?' questions and I am absolutely sick of them (especially because I now feel we've effectively thrown that away for a few years because of going travelling). Yes you can brush it off but sometimes it's hard to do that without getting upset. I don't see why AsknAnswer's post should be getting criticised for saying something that in a number of guises has been said on this thread before. It doesn't mean we're not happy for people, but equally we're well within our rights to feel a bit sad or frustrated and 'why isn't it me?' about it - it's a perfectly natural reaction, especially if it's something you've been wanting for a long time (and could indeed be applied to lots of things, not just marriage).

minerva_windsong

lil_miss_insanity wrote: »

It seems that you knew my OH better than I do - he did ask when we were away after all. :T

Congratulations!

daisiegg

lil_miss_insanity wrote: »

Thanks, Daisie - we're looking at April too so may join you in that thread once church is booked

Yes! do it! The April thread is so quiet

AllyS

minerva_windsong wrote: »

Quite a few of us have said that it makes us sad/upset when people we know announce or talk about their upcoming weddings, or even going to people's weddings - part of me is dreading going to our friend's wedding in July because we will get the endless 'so when are you two getting married?' questions and I am absolutely sick of them (especially because I now feel we've effectively thrown that away for a few years because of going travelling). Yes you can brush it off but sometimes it's hard to do that without getting upset. I don't see why AsknAnswer's post should be getting criticised for saying something that in a number of guises has been said on this thread before. It doesn't mean we're not happy for people, but equally we're well within our rights to feel a bit sad or frustrated and 'why isn't it me?' about it - it's a perfectly natural reaction, especially if it's something you've been wanting for a long time (and could indeed be applied to lots of things, not just marriage).

Well said minerva and Ask :T

jtr2803

Daisy-May* wrote: »

Hello ladies!!

well what can I say I have got some fantastic news for you all...I am now officially engaged!! :j

My lovely OH asked me to marry him on my birthday and it was lovely, after all of my moaning on here i feel really bad!! He was very sweet (he even got down one knee) and once he had asked me he said I hadnt pressured him that he loved me loads and he has promised my mum and dad he will take care of me!!

He asked my mum and dad before he asked me and they said they were honoured that he actually asked them first - which is lovely.

Anyway I will stop going on - I supposed I will no longer be allowed to visit this thread anymore - but thank you all for your support and help. I hope everyone is ok and well and I will keep my fingers crossed for all you other ladies xx

I missed this - sorry chick!

Mega congrats to you :beer:

Ask - that is what this thread is for my love so you feel free! That's the exact reason I started it . I don't post so much these days but I still know how it all feels and despite having ours actually booked I still feel like a WFAP girl

MrsDrink

jtr2803 wrote: »

I still know how it all feels and despite having ours actually booked I still feel like a WFAP girl

Me too!! Even though for me it's been over 2 years since he finally agreed to marry me. I still remember all the feelings I read about on here! (I guess that's why every now and then I add my twopence worth!) x

minerva_windsong

It's mine and OH's fifth anniversary tomorrow (how did that happen?!). If I'm honest, I'm not expecting a proposal as we'll be spending most of the day on trains and buses going down to Cornwall, but it would be lovely to be able to arrive at the holiday house and see my family with a ring...

Chick

minerva_windsong wrote: »

Quite a few of us have said that it makes us sad/upset when people we know announce or talk about their upcoming weddings, or even going to people's weddings - part of me is dreading going to our friend's wedding in July because we will get the endless 'so when are you two getting married?' questions and I am absolutely sick of them (especially because I now feel we've effectively thrown that away for a few years because of going travelling). Yes you can brush it off but sometimes it's hard to do that without getting upset. I don't see why AsknAnswer's post should be getting criticised for saying something that in a number of guises has been said on this thread before. It doesn't mean we're not happy for people, but equally we're well within our rights to feel a bit sad or frustrated and 'why isn't it me?' about it - it's a perfectly natural reaction, especially if it's something you've been wanting for a long time (and could indeed be applied to lots of things, not just marriage).

I'm totally with you on this one Minerva...I will freely admit that while feeling happy for others when they announce their engagements, I do get unstoppable feelings of envy/jealousy- and totally HATE myself for it. OH has started to pick up on me getting upset about these things and doesn't quite understand why

This is something that has only started in the last year or so, before I was 100% happy for others but now it's something that I want so much, I don't know how to deal with it...this makes me feel so childish.

Going to weddings is ok, but now the comments of "it's you two next" or "when is the big day?" are starting to cut to the bone; I know people are playing and mean well, I am being hyper-sensitive.

Before, I genuinely laughed it all off, now it bothers me unreasonably. This is because I always assumed that me and the OH would get married one day, it would just happen and he would ask me...now I'm not so sure.

I'm sure I'll probably cry at the next wedding we go to- I've never done that before, but I can now safely say I'm beginning to understand why people cry at weddings.
"why isn't it me?" is something I sadly relate to completely right now.

For me, the solution is to keep smiling, be nice, try not to have one too many and let my real feelings out...I do realise that this is not a good medium/long term solution

Chick

AsknAnswer2 wrote: »

Wedding season has started. Urgh.

I have these same setiments exactly

Last month there were 5 women I know from various stages in my life who got married...I am not really in touch with any of them any more, but the only reason I know is thanks to Facebook

They are all at least 31/32 yrs old, I think it's because they are my contemporaries and have been with their OHs for the same time or less than me and my OH. I know this shouldn't matter as every relationship is different, however, it definitely does and only reinforces everything that I want for me and my OH.

To be honest, this all makes me feel so ashamed...I am so glad I can come on here and share it with others who know exactly how I feel

minerva_windsong

I feel a bit guilty posting this as we're all on a bit of a downer, but my comment about going to Cornwall has in fact turned out to be sort-of accurate - OH proposed on Tuesday!

(Story to follow in the morning as I have to go to bed to be up in time for work, but will tell you all about it ASAP!)