Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

jtr2803

minerva_windsong wrote: »

I feel a bit guilty posting this as we're all on a bit of a downer, but my comment about going to Cornwall has in fact turned out to be sort-of accurate - OH proposed on Tuesday!

(Story to follow in the morning as I have to go to bed to be up in time for work, but will tell you all about it ASAP!)

Love love love this!!!

I want full details! So so happy for you!!

daisiegg

minerva_windsong wrote: »

I feel a bit guilty posting this as we're all on a bit of a downer, but my comment about going to Cornwall has in fact turned out to be sort-of accurate - OH proposed on Tuesday!

(Story to follow in the morning as I have to go to bed to be up in time for work, but will tell you all about it ASAP!)

Wooooooooo congratulations!!!!

Skintski

SallyAnnie wrote: »

If he really is your very best friend then you shouldn't push him into it just because it's what you want. You need to respect that this isn't the right time for him; it doesn't mean he loves you any less. I've been happily living with my OH for 12 years, he proposed on our 12th anniversary, we marry on our 13th. It will happen if it's meant to be, I don't understand what the rush is. Getting married doesn't change how you feel, it just celebrates what you already have! Good luck!

I do tend to agree with this. Marriage for us will happen when its supposed to rather than because I'm desperate to have a ring on my finger like so many ladies sadly seem to be.

I've just watched one of my best friends life fall apart having booked her wedding and been with her guy nearly 7 years because he's recently walked away having felt pressured into marriage. She was so desperate to be married and now her whole life has been turned on its head.:(

74jax

Skintski wrote: »

I've just watched one of my best friends life fall apart having booked her wedding and been with her guy nearly 7 years because he's recently walked away having felt pressured into marriage. She was so desperate to be married and now her whole life has been turned on its head.:(

But now she can go on and find someone who DOES want to marry her. And her OH can go on and find someone else too that maybe he also wants to marry?

minerva_windsong

Thanks guys!

So, for background, every year we stay in a cottage in a little village in North Cornwall with my family for a week, and each couple (my parents, sisters and brothers-in-law, and me and OH) has a 'date night' at one point during the week where we go off and do our own thing for the evening. For our date night, OH wanted to go to the pub/hotel in the next village over, which is about a quarter-mile walk along the cliff top, and I assumed he wanted to go there because of trying to save for going travelling.

So we were walking along and there was a little if slightly overgrown bench about halfway there, and OH said, "Let's stop here for a moment." We stood there for a bit looking out over the sea, then he reached inside his jacket pocket, got down on one knee and asked me to marry him, and I said yes I genuinely didn't have a clue he was going to do it until he pulled out the ring box (it's a gorgeous ring, platinum with just one diamond, really simple and classic and exactly what I'd have chosen myself).

Then we went on to the hotel and had a lovely meal. On the way back we walked past another bench that had a slightly better view just before 'the spot', and it turned out this was where he'd originally wanted to do it but when we'd got there there were people sitting on it! When we got home we told my mum and sisters (my dad and brothers-in-law already knew as he'd asked my dad's blessing and my brothers-in-law had helped with the planning), and then all had champagne. It was absolutely perfect.

We haven't got a date yet but are looking at spring/summer 2014 at the earliest due to going travelling and, for want of a better phrase, wanting to 'do it properly' in terms of all the planning and stuff. I'm going to email a few possible venues today to get an idea of prices and possibly book in for some visits; that's the only thing I want to maybe see if we can get sorted before we go away due to possible worries about availability.

BugglyB

Thats so wonderful Minerva so happy for you

I so loved the excitement of sharing the news with family and friends. Yippeeee for you x

Skintski

74jax wrote: »

But now she can go on and find someone who DOES want to marry her. And her OH can go on and find someone else too that maybe he also wants to marry?

Or she could not have pressured him and he might still be in her life and in time he could have been ready to marry her. He proposed because he knew how desperately she wanted it but that's not the right reason. I don't feel that either partner should feel they HAVE to propose just because that is what their partner wants. It's not fair.

I'm pleased for everyone who has been proposed to but I know if I'd have pressured my other half it would really have taken the shine off it for both of us. I'm happy knowing he was ready to marry me as much as I was to marry him.:)

squ1rrel5

Absolutely fantastic news Minerva!! So happy for you!!

squ1rrel5

Try and post a pic of the ring if you can (and you dont mind showing us all!) Would love to see it :-)

74jax

Skintski wrote: »

Or she could not have pressured him and he might still be in her life and in time he could have been ready to marry her. He proposed because he knew how desperately she wanted it but that's not the right reason. I don't feel that either partner should feel they HAVE to propose just because that is what their partner wants. It's not fair.

I'm pleased for everyone who has been proposed to but I know if I'd have pressured my other half it would really have taken the shine off it for both of us. I'm happy knowing he was ready to marry me as much as I was to marry him.:)

Yes I agree with you, sorry I thought you meant she was wanting to get married and he wasn't at the time. In that case I am one of those who don't think you should pressure a partner, but if you both want different things and you can't wait, you should walk away rather than force his hand. If she wanted to get married but could wait then fine, wait until he's ready. But some people can't, it breaks their heart that the other person doesn't want what they want and time is passing them by - to buy a house, have children, whatever - and so they move on.