Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

AsknAnswer2

Wedding season has started. Urgh.

MrsDrink

SallyAnnie wrote: »

If he really is your very best friend then you shouldn't push him into it just because it's what you want. You need to respect that this isn't the right time for him; it doesn't mean he loves you any less.

*This* was the thing that upset me the most. Yes MrD is my very best friend. Yes I do respect that up until he said yes it wasn't the right time for him. And Yes I knew it didn't mean he didn't love me any less. BUT the reverse arguments can also me made:
If I really was his very best friend then he shouldn't push me against it just because it wasn't what he wanted. He should have respected that it was the right time for me.
Fortunately I did have the 'happy ending'; we're getting married 6 weeks tomorrow :eek:. But the one thing that used to upset me the most in the 5 years I was waiting for him to agree to marry me was the fact that it is all or nothing. There is no such thing as compromise when it comes to being married. You either are or you aren't.
(And there was no 'rushing' involved - when we marry it will be 13 years since we first laid eyes on each other).

AllyS

Daisy-May* wrote: »

Hello ladies!!

well what can I say I have got some fantastic news for you all...I am now officially engaged!! :j

My lovely OH asked me to marry him on my birthday and it was lovely, after all of my moaning on here i feel really bad!! He was very sweet (he even got down one knee) and once he had asked me he said I hadnt pressured him that he loved me loads and he has promised my mum and dad he will take care of me!!

He asked my mum and dad before he asked me and they said they were honoured that he actually asked them first - which is lovely.

Anyway I will stop going on - I supposed I will no longer be allowed to visit this thread anymore - but thank you all for your support and help. I hope everyone is ok and well and I will keep my fingers crossed for all you other ladies xx

Congratulations that is fantastic news and soooo sweet of course you are still welcome here xx

heartbreak_star

AsknAnswer2 wrote: »

Wedding season has started. Urgh.

Why post with something like that on this thread?

I keep nudging my OH towards rings but he doesn't take hints very well *sigh*

HBS x

lil_miss_insanity

AllyS wrote: »

Hugs hun rubbish, rubbish my OH said to me 2 years ago that we would def be married this yeah. Hmpfh!

Have a lovely holiday and if something else happens then brilliant xx

It seems that you knew my OH better than I do - he did ask when we were away after all. :T And it isn't an expensive ring either, so he was trying to put me off the scent - no idea how insane I was going.

I didn't want to admit it as I didn't want to upset people on here when they were feeling bad. Sorry if I have upset anyone

daisiegg

lil_miss_insanity wrote: »

it seems that you knew my oh better than i do - he did ask when we were away after all. :t and it isn't an expensive ring either, so he was trying to put me off the scent - no idea how insane i was going.

I didn't want to admit it as i didn't want to upset people on here when they were feeling bad. Sorry if i have upset anyone

congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lil_miss_insanity

Thanks, Daisie - we're looking at April too so may join you in that thread once church is booked

trying_2_b_good

SallyAnnie wrote: »

I've been happily living with my OH for 12 years, he proposed on our 12th anniversary, we marry on our 13th. It will happen if it's meant to be, I don't understand what the rush is. Getting married doesn't change how you feel, it just celebrates what you already have! Good luck!

I wonder if you'll feel this way after you are actually married. I've been married 10 months and I have to say that it has changed our relationship for the better. I was very happy before, but now I'm really content & more loved up than ever! There's something about seeing those rings on my finger that jusy make me smile.

Congratulations to lil_miss_insanity and Daisy-May!

And fingers crossed to those still waiting :grouphug:

AllyS

lil_miss_insanity wrote: »

It seems that you knew my OH better than I do - he did ask when we were away after all. :T And it isn't an expensive ring either, so he was trying to put me off the scent - no idea how insane I was going.

I didn't want to admit it as I didn't want to upset people on here when they were feeling bad. Sorry if I have upset anyone

Awwww congrats! That is brilliant news xx

AsknAnswer2

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Why post with something like that on this thread?

I keep nudging my OH towards rings but he doesn't take hints very well *sigh*

HBS x

Why not? It's a thread for those of us who are wishing and waiting for a proposal to be absolutely open and honest about our feelings and to gain support from those in the same boat or who have been there. I'm being open and honest that when wedding season starts which is usually around this time, I feel 'urgh'

I feel that way because I know exactly what happens, I've done the rounds before. with every upcoming wedding in the family, or in the office I am greeted with the questions "Has X proposed yet?" or "When are you going to get married?" It's very awkward and yes it drives me down. It's the same with national celebrations like Christmas, Valentines day when you just know that in the following days someone somewhere is going to be flashing their ring in my face.

I'm genuinely happy for those who get the happy ending they want - and I do congratulate them when it happens. That doesn't mean that I don't also reserve the right to feel a pinch of jealousy that it isn't me or feel like crying when I'm smiling at them and wishing them well. When a person has been waiting for such a long time it's natural to feel a twinge of upset and frustration and a relief to be able to confide it here.