Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

daisiegg

Ah fair enough Ally it makes sense!

I agree with you that baby is more of a commitment - it links two people for the rest of their lives, or at least for the rest of the child's life - whereas you can get a divorce and never see the person again. If you have a child with someone you are going to have contact with that person forevermore whether you stay with them or not, even if it's bumping into each other at your great-grandchild's wedding! Plus it's a big scary responsibility and while marriage is of course a big deal...at the end of the day when you get back from the honeymoon and go home actually nothing major will have changed, except you might be wearing rings and people might now refer to one of you as Mrs. Why are men so strange and difficult to understand?!

squ1rrel5

Just having a quick catch up...
Eleanor, sorry you didnt get engaged while you were away, hope its soon though!!

Ally, I know what you mean about the baby situation.... I never wanted a baby before getting married but getting to a certain age made me think otherwise!! As it turns out because of my condition, it looks like the marriage will come before the baby anyway so at least I'll be sticking to the tradtions!!!
One of my theories is that planning a wedding will take my mind off trying for a baby and that way it might come along when I least expect it!!! :-)

My unofficial deadline is counting down.... 8 days to go!!!! :rotfl:

babyb06

Squ1rrel5!!!!!! Ever ytime I see your name pop up on thread I have to read it to see if you have news - I am n tenterhooks - tell your OH the nation is waiting! :rotfl:

Fingers crossed for the weekend!

miss_hh

Can I join?? I have been with my oh for 4 years in July and he told me from the start that he wasnt fussed on marriage. At the time (a few weeks in) I wasnt fussed as I never thought the relationship would even get to that stage. But it has and I just feel desperate now.

He says he will marry me one day but we are both 35. I dont want to be an elderly bride. I am happy enough just to go to the registery office and out for a steak after! My children torture him and say he has to marry me which makes me feel even more desperate.

I love him and want to be with him married or not, but why cant he just marry me ((

I do sometimes think its because he dosent love me enough but he assures me he does so I try not to think along those lines!

squ1rrel5

:cool:

babyb06 wrote: »

Squ1rrel5!!!!!! Ever ytime I see your name pop up on thread I have to read it to see if you have news - I am n tenterhooks - tell your OH the nation is waiting! :rotfl:

Fingers crossed for the weekend!

Ha ha I feel like Kate Middleton!

fatblackandwhite

Can I add my story?

I met OH on'tinernet over ten years ago. A week after we first met in 'real life' he said 'I am going to marry you one day'. A couple of months after we were together I asked him when he thought we would get engaged (I am mortified at that now!). He said when we could be together properly. (We lived some distance apart). A year later we moved into our first home together...

Fast forward 10+ years and we are still in our first home together, have a 2 year old, but are still not engaged and no hints that this will ever happen. He says we have a son together, what more of a commitment do I need?

So all those people who have been together four years and feel doomed ... spare a thought!

AllyS

squ1rrel5 wrote: »

My unofficial deadline is counting down.... 8 days to go!!!! :rotfl:

Eeeek :eek: So exciting

Please try not to worry too much about PCOS, I know a few people that have had a baby, one was very unexpected, because she was told her PCOS was so bad it would never happen. She fell preggers during a one night stand

miss_hh wrote: »

Can I join?? I have been with my oh for 4 years in July and he told me from the start that he wasnt fussed on marriage. At the time (a few weeks in) I wasnt fussed as I never thought the relationship would even get to that stage. But it has and I just feel desperate now.

He says he will marry me one day but we are both 35. I dont want to be an elderly bride. I am happy enough just to go to the registery office and out for a steak after! My children torture him and say he has to marry me which makes me feel even more desperate.

I love him and want to be with him married or not, but why cant he just marry me ((

I do sometimes think its because he dosent love me enough but he assures me he does so I try not to think along those lines!

Are we the same person? My kids beg my OH to marry me quite often, he always replies I will one day, you just all have to patient.

I also think it is because he doesnt love me enough too and no matter how much I try to put it out my head, its always there just nagging at me - he loved his ex wife more than you nah nah nah nah grrrrr makes me so sad and so angry at the same time.

fatblackandwhite wrote: »

Can I add my story?

I met OH on'tinernet over ten years ago. A week after we first met in 'real life' he said 'I am going to marry you one day'. A couple of months after we were together I asked him when he thought we would get engaged (I am mortified at that now!). He said when we could be together properly. (We lived some distance apart). A year later we moved into our first home together...

Welcome Yup I was told after only a few weeks, oh we will def be married in 2 years, 2 1/2 years later I am still waiting!


HUgs everyone xxx

Chick

miss_hh wrote: »

Can I join?? I have been with my oh for 4 years in July and he told me from the start that he wasnt fussed on marriage. At the time (a few weeks in) I wasnt fussed as I never thought the relationship would even get to that stage. But it has and I just feel desperate now.

He says he will marry me one day but we are both 35. I dont want to be an elderly bride. I am happy enough just to go to the registery office and out for a steak after! My children torture him and say he has to marry me which makes me feel even more desperate.

I love him and want to be with him married or not, but why cant he just marry me ((

I do sometimes think its because he dosent love me enough but he assures me he does so I try not to think along those lines!

Welcome to the thread miss hh!
As you can see, you are not alone...I couldn't believe it when I stumbled across this thread late last year, so many people feeling very similar to the way I feel right now!

I've been with my OH almost 4 years this summer...we've only jokingly discussed marriage in the past, however, over the last 6-12 months I've thought about it a lot more.

I'm going to be 34 in a few months, he is over 3 years younger than me. yes I will admit my biological clock is now ticking, apparently he finds this amusing at times :mad:
I always thought I'd definitely get married before having children but I don't want to wait too much past 35 to try...and like you I don't want to be a Geriatric Bride!

At this rate I'll be more concerned about hiding the wrinkles and covering up grey hairs than colour schemes, wedding dress & flowers! :rotfl:

I feel your pain & those feelings of desperation...

Chick

I need to come by more often, so many threads to catch up on!

It's funny, I'm ok about things generally when it's all busy at work & there is no time to think, but it's moments where I get thinking too much that I feel I need to let everything out (and NOT to the OH!)

So glad there is a place I can come and not feel like I'm totally crazy

Chick

duchy wrote: »

Oh dear

I'm old enough that most (not all) people didn't live together until they were engaged. Time line went Proposal, Buy House and do it up ready for moving in together officially (bride often nominally still lived at home til the wedding) then the wedding say sxi months/a year after buying the house.

I sometimes think there would be a lot less faffing around by men if the proposal didn't come so much later than it does nowdays and they knew to "get the girl" they needed to make that public commitment with a ring.

I so agree with this Duchy!

I love living with my OH...however, we really should have had the proper 'serious' conversation before we did because 2 years down the line I am not happy with his lack of keeness to get married, have kids etc

From my point of view, moving in together was a step forward in our relationship with the inevitable progression towards marriage. Am not entirely convinced that he shares this view