Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

Daisy-May*

Oh squ1rrel5 I feel for you, your situation must be REALLY fustrating (but for some reason men just done seem to understand!!) I bet if you had kept him waiting this long for something he really wanted he wouldnt be happy!

My situation isnt the same as yours but i know have a ring as well (we found it back in Jan) but I havent had any hints of a proposal, I even asked him yesterday after he had had a few drinks if he has asked my dad yet and he said he hadnt (he cant lie at all so this must be true!)

It starts to make you wonder if its all worth it and like you said Im sure they dont think about it half as much as women do!

I will keep my fingers crossed for you Squ1rrel5 and hope that he comes to his senses soon and you have a ring on your finger! Keep us updated!

Aww Carm what you have said is really sweet (if you would like to give my OH a big slap then please feel free! lol) Hope you have a great weekend!

verandi

Squirrel I don't think anyone can blame you for still thinking about it, I don't know how you haven't gone round the bend by now. As for whether a man would take the ring out in its box or not well I guess it depends on how big the box is and how easily it could be hidden. My OH doesn't tend to wear a coat so he'd only have his jeans pockets and I think a big box would be difficult/uncomfortable to hide in there lol.

Carm that was a lovely post. It's good to know that not all people who come across this thread think that we're all sad losers :rotfl:

I have a dilemma I could do with some advice on. We're going to the jewellery quarter tomorrow for a repair on his mums ring and OH has said he wants us to look at engagement rings while we're there so he can see what kind of ones I like. Well I don't know what to do. After reading so many of you saying that you looked at rings months ago and haven't heard anything since, I don't want that to be me I know that as soon as I look at them I'll want to be engaged right then but I have a feeling it would still be months more waiting afterwards. What shall I doooo?

squ1rrel5

Verandi, I would just ask him if its something he's thinking about in the short term... and that once you've given him an idea you wont be kept waiting too long! Sometimes men just need talking to completely straight but as you know even that doesnt work sometimes!!!

I used to think my man was different from most but now I am starting to see that they are all the same!!!

I hope your OH is not like the rest of them and it means that you will be engaged very soon!!!!!!!

verandi

Thank you squirrel

I tried broaching the subject in bed the other night, I was saying that once I've looked at them I'd probably get impatient and want one straight away but I said something like "but I wont be able to have one yet will I" and he said no.... Argh! So when, how long? Lol. If I knew it was gonna be within a month I'd be fine with it. Two at a push. But any longer than that and I think I would go mad. He didn't seem to understand why I'd feel impatient about it. Why don't they get it?!? I don't understand it. How can I look at all those hundreds of gorgeous rings and know what they represent to me and then not mind waiting indefinitely again afterwards! Lol.

jtr2803

Carm that was a really lovely post, thank you. It can be very hard at times and I never thought so many of us would be feeling the same way! I can only hope we have some more graduates soon as we are well over due for some!

Squirrel I can't believe he hasn't done it still! I can only assume he is in the midst of a huge and amazing surprise proposal plan!

Verandi, I can see why the ring shopping would be an issue, if he isn't planning on proposing any time soon then why does he want to to look, unless he just didn't want to admit that he was thinking about it?

I paid the Maldives balance off on Thursday and we go ten weeks today, I really hope other half has given it some more thought as I am not sure I will make it much past that holiday. He has been very loving and considerate lately but the skeptic in me thinks its because he is not planning on proposing and wants to make it hard for me to walk away, not in a scheming sense, just in a practical one. Otherwise I am finding things a little difficult at the moment as five of my facebook friends are getting married next month so its a bit wedding overload!

BugglyB

Oh for the love of christ jtr, surely after the last holiday he realises the Maldives is make or break?!

Do you mind pming me his phone number so I can have a word! 'Look, mate, you don't know me...'

:rotfl:

BugglyB

verandi wrote: »

Thank you squirrel

I tried broaching the subject in bed the other night, I was saying that once I've looked at them I'd probably get impatient and want one straight away but I said something like "but I wont be able to have one yet will I" and he said no.... Argh! So when, how long? Lol. If I knew it was gonna be within a month I'd be fine with it. Two at a push. But any longer than that and I think I would go mad. He didn't seem to understand why I'd feel impatient about it. Why don't they get it?!? I don't understand it. How can I look at all those hundreds of gorgeous rings and know what they represent to me and then not mind waiting indefinitely again afterwards! Lol.

verandi I think you should be straight up with him and say, you know people that have been engagement ring shopping and then been kept waiting indefinitely (longer than it takes for a ring to be resized) for a proposal and that idea really upsets you. So if he wants to be mindful of your feelings, not take you ring shopping unless he is planning on proposing afterwards.

Or even tell him you wont go ring shopping until he has proposed.

iamashoppingaddict

I've come accross this thread by accident and I'm completely in the same boat!!!!

I've been with OH for 5 years next month. Like most couples we have our ups and downs but we love each other very much and I'd love to get married. Lots of people around us have either got engaged or married recently and its made me feel broody (if thats the right word!) about getting married myself.

I have to admit over the last 6 months or so I've been bugging him about it a little. I've love to be a Mrs and I've love to have his surname.

We are both 30 this year (our birthdays are only a month apart) and I really didn't want to enter my 30's without being married but it appears that it will be the case.

HOWEVER.......yesterday we were sitting in our local and the pub in which we met and he asked me (completely randomly!) whether the landlord would shut the pub and the resturant for the day for a wedding meal/reception!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm mean, he's clearly thinking about it isn't he?!!!

Anyway we spoke to the landlord and he said yes to feeding everyone but no to closing the pub for the evening. Which personally we found quite bizzare as the pub is dead on a saturday night!!!!

So OH then said after the landlord left, 'well we'll have to do something boring like everyone else then'. ARGHHH

*sigh*

HE HASN'T EVEN ASKED ME YET, YET HE IS PLANNING!!! Sorry for shouting. Just a little frustrating.

duchy

Oh dear

I'm old enough that most (not all) people didn't live together until they were engaged. Time line went Proposal, Buy House and do it up ready for moving in together officially (bride often nominally still lived at home til the wedding) then the wedding say sxi months/a year after buying the house.

I sometimes think there would be a lot less faffing around by men if the proposal didn't come so much later than it does nowdays and they knew to "get the girl" they needed to make that public commitment with a ring.

daisiegg

duchy wrote: »

Oh dear

I'm old enough that most (not all) people didn't live together until they were engaged. Time line went Proposal, Buy House and do it up ready for moving in together officially (bride often nominally still lived at home til the wedding) then the wedding say sxi months/a year after buying the house.

I sometimes think there would be a lot less faffing around by men if the proposal didn't come so much later than it does nowdays and they knew to "get the girl" they needed to make that public commitment with a ring.

I TOTALLY agree and that's what I've always thought!! Shame things have to change