Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

squ1rrel5

Thanks for all your support yesterday ladies, it's so nice to be able to have this thread on here to be able to come and vent every now and again, dont know what I would do without you all!

Welcome to the thread lancs lass - I hope you can work out your situation.
That is one of the reasons I wanted to get married was before having kids, but I am lucky in the fact that my OH has the same views as me - he'sjust a bit slow on the uptake sometimes, bless shim!!

When the two of you want different things out of life, there has to be some sort of compromise and if that means him marrying you in order to have children, then so be it, and in the same way if you wanted something but had to compromise in some way to make him happy it has to be done. Not everyone agrees on everything, life would be pretty boring if that happened, but if people arent willing to compromise to try and strike a balance then you do have to question whether that person is the right person for you. There are lots of fantastic people on here who will all give you great advice but deep down you know whats right and if he knows how you feel then he will too

I'm actually feeling quite guilty today... that is me all over. I feel like I'm ruining the experience for OH every time I get upset, although if he HAD something planned, then I'd probably feel worse!! At least I know I havent ruined some sort of big surprise...
I suppose I should be glad that he will probably think about it a bit more now, rather than just waking up one morning, thinking I feel like getting engaged today!! :rotfl:

I have got my first fertility scan this morning so not feeling the best, hence why my emotions were probably running a bit high yesterday. It's not in the best way, but I think that will take my mind of the engagement stuff fo a few days.... and work is manic so I will just fill my head with that for a week and then see what happens!!

Brightside

what an emotional rollercoaster of an Easter you've had.

men don't realise that huddling together under too small a brolly in the rain can be so romantic, or is that just me.

Lancslass, I can't really advise except to say that you need to talk it through while sober, but you knew that anyway.

minerva_windsong

*waves hello to Lancslass* :hello: No advice on your situation from me I'm afraid, but I agree with Brightside that it is something you need to talk about and perhaps found out why he doesn't believe in marriage (if indeed that's true and he's not saying that as code for, say, not wanting a big expensive wedding - although of course it could be any number of things).

Hope your scan went OK Squirrel :heartsmil (sorry for the slightly dodgy smiley, couldn't find anything else that seemed like the right sentiment).

verandi

Oh Squirrel I don't know what to say. Clearly we should all just become lesbians and marry each other, who needs men anyway! :rotfl: I hope your scan gives you the all clear x

squ1rrel5

Scan said I defo have PCOS which is going to make it twice as hard to have a baby....ah well, will see the doc in a couple of weeks to see how to move forward....

But I did also hear news today about a friend who was told a few years ago that she might not be able to have children and she is now 5 months pregnant!!

She's 6 years older than me now, so I have a few years to sort it out!!!

Now if only I had a proposal to take my mind off it for now.... :rotfl:

AllyS

Awww squirrel, loads and loads of hugs hun, I don't really know what to say. I think you are an amazing lovely person and your man is very lucky to have you. Never give up on having a baby, I have seen so many women be told that you will never have a baby, for them then to go on and have children. My own Mum fell pregnant easily but miscarried 4 babies and was told she would never carry a baby full term and to give up, 3 of us survived in the end

I think we are all lovely, patient and very understanding ladies on this thread, did anyone watch DTTB last night, she was portrayed as such a spoilt little brat, but yet she had a man that would bend over backwards for her, I am starting to think that maybe I am little too nice

Lancashire Lass : welcome to the group, I already have 2 children (from a previous marriage) but OH wants a baby and at 34 time is running out, but he has no children and the nice part of me wants him to experience that, but I am like you I am old fashioned and want to be married first. He is not ready to get married and by his own admission may never be, so it is a stalemate. I could say I have children, if you want a child you have to marry me, but do I really want to get married for that reason? It is a tough one and I do have an idea of how you feel.

Hugs everyone that needs them xx

Chrissy1981

Squ1rrel5, I just wanted to say -- keep the faith.

I was in exactly the same situation as you at the zoo. Except my OH had promised we would go SHOPPING for YOU KNOW WHAT (i.e. ring) a few days after Xmas. We got all the way round Lakeside (both levels) and only looked in one shop as I wanted him to lead the way. We got to car park and I burst into tears as he'd put all these hints out there and - nothing. I cried all the way home and when we got in we had a good talk, where I reminded him of all the times he'd hinted it was going to happen (birthday, Xmas, New Year, etc etc) and it hadn't.

He said he wanted it to be special. I asked him if he'd thought about planning anything special. He hadn't. So I explained that if you don't plan anything, NOTHING WILL HAPPEN. 10 minutes later, he asked me to come home late from work the next day.

I got home, he'd made a 3 course dinner, put music on, lit candles, found the table cloth and laid the table, and he proposed. I did feel a bit like I'd forced him into it but the reality is, I hadn't. I gave him a good talking to and he came up with a plan.

Happy to say we've been married 5 months today I'm totally not trying to be smug about it, just that you have had the same conversation with your OH that I did with mine and it might just do the trick... Keep the faith sister! x

eleanor73

Squirrel-I have 2 friends with PCOS who have had children. I know it makes it harder but not impossible.

Wish me luck ladies- Flying to Denmark tomorrow and it's our 3 year anniversary on Fri. I personally don't think he has left enough time to sort the ring but anyway-you never know

minerva_windsong

Good luck Eleanor! You never know, he might be taking a toy/plastic ring (or no ring at all) and then buy the 'official' one whilst you're there...

verandi

Good luck eleanor! I've always wanted to go to scandinavia. I bet Denmark could be very romantic indeed. Will have my fingers crossed for you!

Squirrel I'm sorry to hear your scan news. On the positive side, at least you know now what the issue is and hopefully the docs will be able to do something about it xx