Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

eleanor73

EEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek - BF just went out for a run. He said there was something on his desk for me and it was a little task and I am not allowed to ask any questions I just have to do it. It is a ring size chart. Eeeeeeeek.:j

squ1rrel5

Fab news Eleanor, hopefully not too long to wait for you! Although don't get your hopes up if he's anything like my OH and keeps you waiting on tenterhooks!

I'm trying so hard not to, but it is getting me really down at the moment. Saw his family tonight as they are up for a few days and all it made me think of was what a missed opportunity it was.

eleanor73

squ1rrel5 wrote: »

Fab news Eleanor, hopefully not too long to wait for you! Although don't get your hopes up if he's anything like my OH and keeps you waiting on tenterhooks!

I'm trying so hard not to, but it is getting me really down at the moment. Saw his family tonight as they are up for a few days and all it made me think of was what a missed opportunity it was.

I know-we looked at rings 11 months ago so I don't know why I'm excited but hopefully it might be around our anniversary time. Fingers crossed for you too Squirrel! Is your hol soon? Has JTR returned yet?

verandi

Eleanor!!! That's so exciting, you must be bouncing off the walls now haha

minerva_windsong

Oh Eleanor, how exciting!

rdchick

weee fingers crossed Eleanor! xxx

jtr2803

Hi ladies,

Just had a chance to quickly read through, thank you all for thinking of me .

We got back early yesterday morning so I am still pretty tired but overall we had an amazing time, the Safari was absolutely out of this world and I had the most memorable 30th birthday being sang to by the lodge staff while elephants played in the water hole below our dinner table.

He didn't propose.....we did talk or rather I shouted and cried - not proud of it but the frustration got the better of me and I just realised I was fed up of being lied to and led on, especially after he told me it hadn't even crossed his mind to do it while we were away. I did tell him I was very close to leaving him because I honestly felt like I was almost at that point. We both cried and he said he felt like he had ruined my birthday and the trip but he really hadn't, we still did have a great time and maybe I should have picked a better time to have the conversation but I just needed to get it out.

He said that he is petrified that getting married will jinx the relationship and we will split up and end up never talking or even being friends (like his brother and sister), I told him I understand that and I can't promise it won't be like that but if I had any doubts I wouldn't want to do it. I also asked him if he had considered that our relationship might end up like that because he won't get married? He told me he had never intentionally led me on, still wants to marry me and can see why I am so angry at all the little comments and tidbits that have led me to believe it would happen and then I get nothing. Told him that we have already been through this three times and nothing ever changes so why should I believe him?

Having had the conversation I realised I am not ready to end the relationship yet, I am coming close to it but not quite there. Having the time away together has made us closer and he told me last night that he is looking forward to the Maldives (first time he has EVER said he is looking forward to a holiday) so I am still playing the waiting game, we both need to work on the actual relationship but I've made it very clear that I have already extended the 'deadline' and can't do it forever, it's not fair on me. He said that when we talked at new year he assumed he would just propose when he was ready but I pointed out that being ready was the whole point of that particular conversation, if he wasn't ready at that point he should have told me rather than say ok to getting married next year.

Squirrel, I hope your man gets his backside in gear soon, I have had my fingers crossed for you the whole time

Good luck Eleanor too, I am still lurking ready with my congratulations banner!

MrsDrink

((hugs)) JTR.

FWIW I think MrD agreed to marry me to shut me up, but over the last 2 years I think he has come to terms with it. I can't think of a better way of describing it really.

The other week while we were making tea he told me about someone a guy at snooker knew who got married after being together for as long as us and who got a divorce not long after. I think it was his way of opening up to me and telling me that this was what was been holding him back all those years ago. Like your OH.

I pointed out to him that we're strong. We have been through some really !!!! times and come out the other side smiling. Life is great between us, we really do make a fantastic couple even if I say so... and as someone said to me perhaps the reason this couple got married in the first place was to try to paper over any cracks that were appearing in their doomed-to-fail-anyway relationship. While we can't guarantee we're not going to split up, we can promise to do everything within our powers to not let it happen - irrespective of whether we're married or not.

I do think saying 'go on then' in whatever form is bloody scary.

squ1rrel5

Great to hear from you Jtr, so glad you had an amazing holiday.
Glad too that your oh finally admitted how he was feeling, frustrating that it took so long and that it had to be on holiday buy still, I'm glad that you at least know now what's been going on and it can allow you to move on and hopefully he will now be extra aware of how you feel!
Does this still mean that March 2013 is still in play?

Ps. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :beer:

Right, now if I'm not engaged by Easter Monday I think I'm going to either a)have a nervous breakdown, b) kill my OH or c) both! :eek:

He's dropping hints like mad and if it doesn't happen then im going to tell him hr needs to stop as its just making me stressed... what he has said isn't much but can be read into...

Conversation 1
Him: (noticing I was upset) what's up?
Me: shrugs shoulders (international sign language for you haven't proposed yet!)
Him: you'll be much happier at the weekend.

Conversation 2
me: (responding to him doing a weird dance...don't ask!) You look like a monkey!
Him: Ohhh, well you want to marry a monkey!
Me: well I did want to marry you but after all this waiting I might change my mind...
Him: well looks like ill be on eBay this weekend then... (giggle)

What do you think about that?

We have a couple of nice things planned for the weekend (including 2 of my fav places, the zoo and an rspb reserve) so perhaps it will give him an opportunity to do it...
but who knows, I've heard it all before.
Just annoyed that the conversation We had a few weeks ago when he said he'd do it as soon as he had the ring has been playing on my mind. That's why I can't relax and wait til the holiday!
I'm surprised that I haven't tried snooping in his stuff to try and find the ring to check that it does exist but I'm not that bad!!

Hope everyone else has a great long weekend... any nice plans?

Xx

Brightside

glad you enjoyed your holiday jtr, and maybe cleared the air a bit even if it wasn't what you hoped for.

Squ1rrel5, i bet you have a ring on your finger before me, and I've been engaged since the 27th December, he just hasn't sorted the ring out yet. Although he did say he transferred the money to the account to pay for it yesterday. It's a silly thing as everyone knows we are engaged, but it means a lot to me to have a sign of that commitment.