Leaving your children with people

shellsuit

pokey128 wrote: »

Maybe I am being sanctimonious and judgemental and I'm sorry if I've offended anyone with my opinions but there really is no need to laugh at me.
Maybe my views come from how I was brought up or maybe they are just down to the circumstances we,ve dealt with. Maybe it's because I'm jealous of those people who can afford Childcare so they can clean or go to the gym or jealous of those with family nearby who are willing to help. Regardless of how I have formed these views though they are mine and laughing at someone is just bullying really.

Oh Lord, not the bully card.

I asked valid questions based on your post.

When your children go to school, they won't be with you 24/7 will they, so based on your theory, you won't be bringing them up will you?

I laughed, because I don't know what you think working parents do, if they're not bringing up their children? Work = wages = roof over child's head, food in their tummy and clothes on their back. How is that not bringing up a child?!

I'm quite sure it costs more to have a cleaner, than it does for a session in a creche or a session in the gym, so you have no need to be jealous. Cut the cleaner and go to the gym, or pay for a couple of hours childcare!

lostinrates

Greener Grass, you say you are not from the area so have no family there, but do you have any friends with kids? I don't have kids but regularly now have a friends baby...well, toddler now. This lets her have an hour to exercise, or do a chore which would be easier without her beloved son. I'm the only non family member he's ever stayed alone with and his parents are devoted to him. She comes sometimes and has a coffee so he knows its not only a ''place he gets left''. Its fun for me, because I don't have children and so get some time to spoil him and play.

I think a lot of people assume people without kids aren't interested/don't like them but its not true, not all the time. I enjoy having him to play and DH and I enjoy watching him grow up and develop. (and I'm equally pleased to give hi back after he has exhausted me )

tiamai_d

I think assuming that a child who has never been 'left with anyone else' will get a shock going to nursery/preschool etc is underestimating children. By that rule any child who has been left will go into preschool just dandy. But that doesn't happen does it?

You do what you feel is right. Personally I need a break from them but I know many who don't feel that way.

missminx

Is it possible that your friend isn't being selfish, but possibly trying to encourage you to have a little time to yourself? Just a thought....
She may think she is being helpful
I also think that this is becoming a big deal for you because you are putting pressure on yourself. I think maybe you have a bit of a battle going on in your own mind establishing what you feel you 'should' do and what you want to do??
How about being completely upfront with your friend about how uncomfortable you feel and maybe have her child over for a play date and see if he wants to go to her to do the same. Just for an hour or so as a tester for you, to see how you feel. Also, if this works out, and you decide you would like to take your LO to the gym creche for an hour it would be less of a shock for you both.
Anyway... just some ideas.... Don't pressure yourself, just think about it for a while