Leaving your children with people

Greener_Grass

Hi,

I'm just wondering if anyone else has never left thier child/children with anyone else? My child is 2 years and 5 months, and he has never been baby sat by anyone other than myself and my partner in his whole life, not even for 5 mins.

This is partly down to neither of our families living close but also i believe he is my child, and it is my responisbility to look after him.

All of my friends don't seem to understand this and one in particular keeps insisting i should put him in the gym creche so i can come to classes with her. I personally do not want to leave my child in a creche, I have no idea who these people are and the fact that he has never been left with anyone means this would cause him great upset. This is the last thing i want to cause my child.

He will be going to preschool next year so will have to get used to being left, and i'm aware of that, i just don't personally see the big deal of never having left him with anyone else, Does anyone else feel the same? I get pretty angry everytime she goes on about leaving him in the creche, she doesn't seem to get it at all :mad:

blessings3

Why are you angry ? She doesn't agree with you , you don't agree with her.- is she angry at you ? If you can't agree to disagree than you have a crap friendship.
If in fact you are looking for a pat on the back for being such a devoted parent - then here have a pat on the back.

pattycake

I completely understand your attitude but are you being selfish here? You may well not be doing your child any favours as the shock of being left at pre-school will be enormous.

I certainly do not think he should be left with just anyone but a short time with a trusted friend or relative to get him used to the idea would be beneficial.

You will have to let go and some point. I am sorry if I sound harsh and I know it is not easy but kids need to mix with other kids and with other adults.

Molly41

In my opinion you are making it very hard for yourself and him. Can you imagine the shock to his system if he is suddenly launched into preschool having never been apart from you or husband? Why would you not think the gym crech is suitable? They all have to be trained to a high standard and CRB checked? It would be a way of easing him into the world of pre-school and give you some space to exercise.

heretolearn_2

It's your baby, your choice. But if you think he will be upset now, he'll be upset later as well, and personally I think the younger the sooner they get over it. They live in the 'now' and are quickly distracted whereas an older child will think and fret and worry.

It wasn't my approach though. I frequently popped bubs into a little creche for an hour or so from quite a young age, and then playgroup etc as I knew he was always going to be an only child and I wanted him to be sociable. Plus I was a horribly clingy child right up to age about 7 and I didn't want to have to deal with that. I was never left anywhere as a pre-schooler and when I started school it took two teachers to physically prise me off my mother and drag me in screaming for the whole first two terms.

People in creches are trained and I never had any worries about him. Always a happy and outgoing baby - he was a complete and utter little tart really!

ajaney

I guess your friend is of the opinion that your child will be going to preschool & then school so will have to get used to being left. She probably thinks the longer you leave it, the more upset it will cause.

I have an 11 1/2 month old & have left him with family/very good friends for periods of up to 5 hours. He goes into Nursery for 2 days a week next month so I am doing this to help him get used to it.

At the end of the day, He is your child & you should do what you think is best.

CH27

Do you go to mum & toddler groups?
Does your child have any contact with other children?

Greener_Grass

Im angry because she keeps going on about it and doesn't seem to understand why this is a big thing for both of us.

As i have said we have no family close and we are not from this area so simply have noone we could leave him with? When we do visit family, realistically he doesn't know them so i could not leave him with them.

He mixes with plenty of kids and adults but just not when we are not there. i'm not really sure why you would think just because he has never been left he doesn't mix with other people.

Missyy76

I completely agree with the other replies in that you are doing your child no favours in not allowing anyone else to look after them.

Being in a creche/nursery environment allows children to explore and learn how to make friends, it also builds their confidence tremendously. I have seen so many children that have been kept at home until they are 3, then its time to attend pre-school and they cannot cope with the separation from their parents.

DD attended nursery from 6 months and she is very confident, makes friends easily and is ahead of a lot of the other children at school in reading and writing.

peachyprice

Greener_Grass wrote: »

that he has never been left with anyone means this would cause him great upset. This is the last thing i want to cause my child.

See, this is where you're causing more problems for yourself and him than necessary.

You are doing nothing to help him grow into a an independent little individual by him only being in your company for all of his life so far. He's likely to suffer badly once you try to leave him when he goes to school and by that time you'll HAVE to leave him, in a state.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's right to palm a child off on any Tom, !!!!!! or Harry, but you do need to loosen the apron strings gradually. Being left at a creche in a gym for a half hour class isn't going to do him any harm at all, it will get him used to meeting other children without you there and getting used to interacting with other adults. I can se no negatives TBH.

Greener_Grass

CH27 wrote: »

Do you go to mum & toddler groups?
Does your child have any contact with other children?

Yes i go to plenty, He sees other children almost every day and socialises very well. When we are out he is a confident child and will happily play on his own, he is not clingy in the slightest.