babys ears pierced

ceridwen

Valli wrote: »

do you know Meritaten you have possibly hit on something there.

IF the staff in this salon KNOW the MIL thay must have had some idea she wasn't actually the legal guardian of this infant. So I wouldn't be going into them - I would be going to the council, or to the CAB and questioning the salon's acceptance of this and wanting some action.

Mind you I would have been on to the local rag too - and let THEM get their teeth into it...

...complete with a demand for a law to be enacted to make it illegal for anyone to have their ears pierced before age 16 (which would stop anyone getting abused by having an enforced ear piercing at an age where they themselves had no say in the matter). At the very least there needs to be a law that states that no-one under the age of 16 can have their ears pierced unless they sign a form PERSONALLY agreeing to it (that would stop anyone inflicting this on babies - as they would be unable to sign their name in the first place).

ceridwen

Broomstick wrote: »

OP, can you get your baby seen by the GP or the Health Visitor in the morning on the excuse that you need to double check about keeping the wounds clean and helping them to heal properly, but actually to make sure that a medical record exists of what your MiL did to your child.

If, in the future, she does something like this again, or worse, there will then be some evidence about what has happened this time. You could let her know once you have been to the GP that you have done this and why.

I would also go to Trading Standards, or whoever it is that licenses premises for piercings, and ask them to deal with the shop. It may be too late for your little girl but you may be able to stop something like this happening to someone else's baby. This needs to be done by the authorities not by you.


B x

Very sensible suggestions:T

Moves do need to come from "above" against shops that do this. I am childfree by choice - but would simply refuse to do ear piercings on a young child if I worked in one of these places - because I wouldnt be prepared to inflict pain on a baby/child just because someone else wanted me to do so AND of course the fact that it is up to the child themselves (not someone else on their behalf...) to make a decision like that - so I go back to my original point (ie that a baby is too young to decide - and it IS the baby's decision ultimately).

I would expect to get in trouble with the owner of the business for refusing to do piercings on babies - hence would be glad, in their position, to know that there was something there "officially" that meant my employer couldnt even ask me to do this in the first place.

summerstreetallotments

This seems to me to be an assault...I'd go to the police...she'll just get told off ,but this is not acceptable...she's obviously not suitable to be around children

heretolearn_2

A lot of places won't pierce babies as an internal policy.

I think you've done what's best with the MIL, OP, everyone's feelings are now clear and she's had to back down a bit. Maybe FIL will have another little chat with her in private.

She does have some weird idea about little kids though, pierced ears and bikinis for a baby, chavvy shaved hair for a little boy - I really hate the way young children are sexualised and stopped from being children these days, and no doubt she'd be first in the lynch mob for anyone suspected of being a !!!!!! I wouldn't want to leave my children alone with her in future and I'd be wary of the messages she was teaching them.

Personally I would take it further with the salon. Did they ask for any proof of guardianship? If MIL is a regular did they really believe this little baby grandaughter lives with her instead of the parents and MIL has legal guardianship? I don't think so. I'd be in there kicking up a massive fuss (and MIL will hopefully not be quite as popular next time she goes) and complain to trading standards/council licensing department.

make_me_wise

OP how is your little girl doing? Hope her ears are healing up gradually.

Superbiatch

Sweet_Pea wrote: »

Also if the OP had left the earrings in, when the little girl got a bit older she would have to have them redone because the holes and earrings would be right at the bottom of he earlobes as her ears grow, surely with the stud right at the bottom of the lobe it could easily have been pulled out at school in playground etc.

Not so sure about this being correct, I had mine done at 6 months (it was the 70's and my mother chose to have it done) but my piercings are fine still to this day.

That said, i don't agree with what the granny did and I'd be furious with her and not be able to hold back.

mich13x

make_me_wise wrote: »

OP how is your little girl doing? Hope her ears are healing up gradually.

She is her happy little self today thankfully, she seems to have got over the trauma a lot faster than Mum has
Her ears are still slightly red but seem to be healing over nicely fingers crossed.

She is still a little out of sorts though, napping at all different times than usual, hopefully i can get her settled back into her normal routine soon, we have playgroup today which is her favourite activity of the week.

FIL called OH last night and apologised again, hes really embarrased about the whole thing. I spoke to him afterwards though and said I could not trust MIL on her own with the children for the time being though and he fully understood. MIL and FIL are complete opposites.

skypie123_2

I would go mental on my MIL's !!! if she did this!

minimoneysaver

OP, are you going to spill the beans on where the piercing was done? I really hope that you have made contact with who ever it was and informed them that they have done a babies ears without parental consent.

wuckfit

mich13x wrote: »

I stayed calm and explained why i was so upset and how i felt she had been completely out of line, she got very defensive saying that im always picking at the things she does for the children ( i previously annoyed her when i said i didnt want my daughter to wear the bandeau style bikini she bought her for the pool i prefer an all in one style),

So, she took the passive aggressive line to start with...

mich13x wrote: »

she got all hysterical which made OH and FIL come into the room.

which didn't work so she tried the tantrum...

mich13x wrote: »

FIL knew nothing about the day befores events as she hadnt bothered telling him, he was furious when i explained what happened and told her she had no right and that was a disgusting thing to do to such a young baby.

and that went badly wrong too

mich13x wrote: »

MIL then backtracked a little, apologised and said "lets not spoil the day" which of course i didnt want to do so we left it at that.

finally a grudging apology?

It's like having to deal with another toddler, isn't it?

mich13x wrote: »

Oh and MIL also confirmed that she signed a form at the salon to have the piercing done, saying that she was my daughters guardian.

This last bit chills me, however. it's worrying that she think's it's ok to lie on a legal consent form to get her way.
Ultimately, if you choose to make a complaint to the council/licensing body, (and for what it's worth, I think you should) then the salon might then have recourse to take action against your MIL for falsifiying documents.

I echo others' feelings. your MIL shouldn't be left in charge of a tin of beans, let alone a child.