Uni's going to try and change her life for the better.....

chevalier

unixgirluk wrote: »

I asked him a long time ago if he saw a friend going through the same situation and it was having such an effect on them what would he do? He said he'd tell them to cut that whole group out of his life and move on. There's no picking and choosing sometimes in life, that was his words....shame he can't take his own advice!

Can I suggest that you remind him that he said this. he will have forgotten. And if he wants a future with you, maybe now is the time.
chev

Uniscots97

Thanks Chev, I think I will remind him because I'm fed up. He was moaning about his work this morning and in turn made me late (well later than I like) for mine then moaned again when I said if I start later I have to finish later. Then sent me a text whilst I was driving to apologise.

On the money front my refund has cleared (thank goodness) but I have around £15 coming out and I can't think what its for. Will need to check receipts. Have moved my hair appointment a few weeks as I just can't afford it at the moment. Will also be reminding SS tonight his dig money is sue tomorrow....not saturday or sunday...tomorrow. I asked him to put away dishes last night and guess what he 'forgot' thinking his Dad would do it this morning. Nope had already said to OH, so what did SS have to do before he went back to bed this morning.... clear up the kitchen, hang out washing and tidy his room. OH told him that serves him right for being a lazy little ***.

Pippilongstocking

I've have a son who has a prepensity to 'forget' to do things, teenage boy, hormones, computers, lazy, you name it.

I had to occassionally 'forget' to feed him, make myself something yummy, tidy up and then sit and enjoy. Might get the message through?

No dig money, no meals surely? No tidy up, no access to the kitchen then surely?

I'm a huge advocate of 'tough love' - respect has to be mutual - if he can't respect you, why should you provide for him? In the real world, out there, folk that don't pay for bed and dinner, don't get any.

I hope you and OH find a balance. Kinda related but not really, I was being mentally bludgened by my family home life step father, step siblings, unhappy mother (that hasnt' changed) everyone shouting and lashing out all the time - very abusive (only mentally, and a bit of hitting but even still) I cut them all out at the age of 16 - started a new life for myself, OK its lonely and I'm effectively an orphan, but my life is nice, my kids aren't verbally abusive like all my family's kids, they don't hit people. I did it for me, very selfish maybe - but I've got through it all and have the life I want now (OK with not much money and no family support, but hey we're better of IMHO).

Ocassionally my siblings visit now, very occassionally - but within a few days its obvious nothing has changed for them, I'd have kittens if my mother ever came to stay, not that she'd ever think of doing, she's not seen me much since I left - the cycle continues for all of them still - I'm glad I took myself out of it, I just couldn't cope.

When OH's ready - maybe you have to push him (?) but when you are both ready to make a break from it all, I hope it works out the way you want. It did for me.

Vague and random sorry, but I know how draining other folks dramas/lives can be when its constantly on 'combust' which it sounds like OH's kids are alot. (sorry if out of line saying that)

Uniscots97

Its not out of line at all. He needs to realise that family or not, kids or not, they are toxic all of them (you know who I mean and the emotional blackmail and baggage that goes with it) and he needs them out of his life (though he feels as they are his kids, family etc he shouldn't let go and that includes you know who). SS I think could turn it around (though the longer that goes on the more I'm convinced he wont), SD and the rest no, they are never going to change at all. ...And she is verbally abusive and does the hitting thing too.

Uniscots97

unixgirluk wrote: »

but I have around £15 coming out and I can't think what its for. Will need to check receipts.

Its a fiver for lottery and £10 for McD's. OH decided he wanted a McD's last night (I can't really refuse as he's paying off the car bill). Will really need to get some tarot done, and sort out my ebay items. Have card to finish tonight so thats £3. Not a lot I know but better than nothing and have just transferred £6.10 from paypal to my account (so it should be in my account for next tues/wed).

Lemon_Tree

glad you sorted out what the £15 was, tis unnerving when you can't remember isn't it!

tis ages since i've been to a craft fair, i always used to go to the stitching fairs twice a year but last year went to Ali Pally for the first time in years. I'm not sure i actually spent that much or was actually very impressed with it. I have been known to spend £100's whilst at them before!
i think i'd like to go the papercraft exhibition, either london or birmingham, i'll have to chat it over with my sister as she's my usual partner in crime.

Keiss_21

Hya Unix and everyone else, folowed you across from Stripeyland.

So sorry you are having such a torrid time of it all at the moment. Sounds like SS needs a right talking too...and your OH too!! Perhaps SS will only understand you really mean it when you withdraw your labour...and food!!! Pippi has nailed it in saying that tough love is the way to go.

It is difficult to cut yourself off from people, especially so if it is family, but if they are detrimental to your health and sanity, then it needs to be done I'm afraid. Some people are just not nice, family or not!

Changing the subject comepletely, your onions have been great! A few are about 3" across, the majority about 2" across. I am pretty pleased as I was very late in planting them out, thankyou so much for them. Not everything has thrived in the garden this year....though the courgettes have gone absolutely ballistic!!! My Crown Prince squashes are starting to take over too...will be cutting them back when I have three or four fruits...nearly there! :rotfl:

We will be trying our first sweetcorn tonight. Some got blown over at the weekend, so thought I'd see if they are ready yet...they passed the nail test, so perhaps they'll be fine. Will report back later, or tomorrow as Torchwood and The Killing (our only regular TV viewing) on tonight. :j

Glad to see some of you are crafters...only really got into it last year..always made things for friends and family, but made some things to sell last year and was reasonably successful. I am already booked for an Xmas Fair at the end of November, so need to get back into crafting mode!!

Take care Unix, hope things improve for you soon xxx

Uniscots97

Thanks Keiss, have spent this evening finishing a birthday card for someone (a sale, only £3 but better than nothing). I have put a lot of work into it but only because I couldn't find some of the elements I wanted.

SS went in huff when he got in, doors banging etc. Asked him what was wrong....BB hadn't recorded. Told him you can't record more than 2 things at once on sky+, OH and I already had things recording and if he's that bothered about it stop using the sky box in the living room and fork out for one in his own room (I only get the first box free not subsequent), then told him if he battered anymore furniture, doors or kitchen about like that again he can pay for it. He's downstairs sulking whilst I potter about up here doing craft stuff. He's tried to put a spanner in the works as he's refusing to go for a shower (only one we have is in our room) and he said he'd go in for one in the morning once I'm ready, told him murphy's law says that'll be the one morning his Dad decides to go to bed early, in which case he can have a bath.

As for dinner tonight I couldn't be bothered and had beans on toast and it was lovely, so when SS asked 'where's dinner'? I said tin of beans in the cupboard and bread in the bread bin and clear up after yourself properly...... am I being rotten?

Anyway off to bed..... oh, Keiss? Onions here are only about an inch or so across.

Night night everyone.

Uniscots97

Morning, its pretty rotten weather here. The birthday card I made went down a storm. So much so she's ordered another one for Monday! :j So have £3 from today's sale and will have another £3 on monday. Quite a few of them want to see the Christmas cards I'm making as well, which I said can be personalised. I'm really enjoying making the cards.

The_Dragon

unixgirluk wrote: »

Morning, its pretty rotten weather here. The birthday card I made went down a storm. So much so she's ordered another one for Monday! :j So have £3 from today's sale and will have another £3 on monday. Quite a few of them want to see the Christmas cards I'm making as well, which I said can be personalised. I'm really enjoying making the cards.

Wow this is good unix! just out of interest what ARE the nappy cakes you make? oh and how is the Tarot coming along?