Christmas money dilema??

carolwat

sheryldoc wrote:

Stealing?

Uff away pap !!!!!! @ the moon..

As their guardian and seeing their young age.. isnt she responsible for them and what they recieve..

actually i also see it as stealing. stealing is taking something that doesnt belong to you. as their guardian she is responsible for them and what they receive. doesnt that mean looking after it until they are old enough to look after it themselves and not actually spending it on debts she has created herself.

victory

I agree no point having the money in the bank if you need it, I have done it, yes ashamed and felt bad at the time but the kids have had it back and ten fold over in the long run it was just needed at the time but like one post said they had a house and food on the table and that is far more important xxx

sheryldoc

carolwat wrote:

why should she leave this thread just because she happens to have a different opinion to you. i think the OP had to expect both agreements and disagreements with her proposals when she posted in the first place. if she thought what she was doing was totally right then she wouldnt have asked the question in the first place. she even asked people not to think of her as a bad mother surely she has some doubts herself whether its right. im not saying she is a bad mother either before you twist my words on that one. she obviously isnt otherwise she wouldnt think twice about spending the money on herself.

i think anyone can post their opinions on here whatever they are. if some people dont like it when others dont agree then maybe they should be the ones to leave this thread. now maybe you could climb down off your high horse and realise that everyone is different and everyone is sntitled to their own beliefs and opinions and they should not be told to leave because of them.

regards
carol

ps i do know what it feels like to have nothing and have had to work hard to get where i am now and although some people seem to think im lucky to be in the position i am now it has nothing to do with luck but more to do with knowing my limits and working damn hard.

OK as per fist highlighted post.. you need to make up our mind wether your Mother Theresa or Mystic meg its rather confusing.. how do u kno id twist your words?

As per 2nd I agree.. and my opinion is you 2 r talking nonsense.. but at least u agree they r on their hgh horse or else what i said would be irrelivant.

Calling sumone a theif is harsher than anything I said

sheryldoc

carolwat wrote:

actually i also see it as stealing. stealing is taking something that doesnt belong to you. as their guardian she is responsible for them and what they receive. doesnt that mean looking after it until they are old enough to look after it themselves and not actually spending it on debts she has created herself.

surprise surprise.. oh maybe I should be mystic meg as I saw that coming!.. or Cilla Black?..

SURPRISEEEEEEEE SURPRISSEEEEEEE anyone else remember that show..?.. Broughta tear to a glass eye

mizmir

Stealing is harsh and very emotive. It is only "stealing" if it is not used for the benefit of the children. Creating a debt free secure home is the best gift a parent could give surely? We are not talking about people taking money from their kids to fund an extravagant lifestyle - we are talking about people in desperate situations using the money to pay for essentials - food, heating, clothes etc. And they have all said they are going to pay it back. So the worst that could be said is that it is "borrowing".

The OP said she'd use the gifts for the children but not on toys and such. Sounds very sensible to me.

If you are not in debt then I don't think you can really say what you would and wouldn't do if you had to feed your kids and there was no money left...

carolwat

so because you cant justify why anyone should leave this thread you then change tactics and chose to call me names instead. im neither theresa or meg. im just a mother who looks after what belongs to her child until he is old enough to look after it himself. thankfully hes not with you otherwise he would have nothing to help him later in life.

secondly i dont agree with what you say. the only person on their high horse is you.

call a spade a spade.

sheryldoc

U calling me a spade :O thats harsh! :rotfl:

I didnt call u any names LoL.. jst said IMO that I thought u attempted to portray yourself as those people.. Your awful full of yourself if u think I actually considered you worthy enough to BE them! :rotfl:

You are the one who said we were entitiled to our opinions.. my opinion was you should both GTF.. didnt expect it to happen.. didnt use any force.. jst stated My humble opinion..

As for the thankfully hes not with u comment.. Low Blow .. Your halo will choke you if you keep up the personal comments regarding others children BUt thanx for your concern hes jst fine thanx

You have no idea about my life.. even Mystic Meg isnt that good

carolwat

im sorry but the kids didnt get her into debt did they. she chose to spend what she did and yes maybe it was on necessary things but then maybe she should have tried to budget better. there are places that can help with that kind of thing. even someone on benefits should be able to budget with the money they get. if someone has debts beyond their control its because they have spent way over what they can afford. i was on benefits for a while and had to manage by cutting back. im not saying its easy, its far from it but its not right to use someone elses money to pay your debts.

hopingforahouse

Eeek! Without reading all of these replies, I would just say no, its never right. But as many people have said, what is the point in sitting in a freezing house, with no food, when your 3 year old has £500 in the bank.

At the end of the day, you're a FAMILY, not a bunch of individuals living together in a house.

If you really needed some money that you knew your child could help you out with and he or she was 35, there wouldn't be the same argument, as he or she could make that choice. And hopefully your children will grow up to be the kind of people that would give or lend money to their family if they could, and felt it was appropriate.

So my answer (finally) would be - spend it on whatever you feel is appropriate - if you don't NEED to spend the money on clearing debt or whatever, then don't, put it in a bank account. If you do need to, then do. Buying householdy type items that they will benefit from is okay - e.g. bunkbeds, clothes for them etc. If you NEED to spend it on bills etc then do, but not unless you have to. It is their money, but if this money has to contribute towards keeping the family going then fine. Otherwise, then I feel that yes, it would be wrong.

sheryldoc

People in glass houses..

but NO you have never done ANYTHING that may be considered wrong by some.. eh Theresa?

Its bunkbeds shes buying no 5 gram of crack and a holiday to jamaica with her toy boy lover..

BUILD A BLOODY BRIDGE..