Christmas money dilema??

Jewel_2

Money is disguised in everything. It costs money to buy presents, buy petrol, buy food etc. Most people who create 'nest eggs' for their children expect their children to pay for their own, eg, university education/first car/wedding etc. Others who haven't managed a nest egg try to help with these things themselves. Life revolves around children. If it's morally incorrect to use money given to our children, then it is morally incorrect to sell their old toys/books/games/furniture on ebay etc, without giving them the money, if we are assuming that everything is morally theirs. Just because it's in the form of money doesn't make it any more important than any of their other possessions.

System

My grandsons are aged 6 months and 18 months. I wont give them anything for birthdays or christmases but i put money into their trust funds instead. I shall probably continue to do that until they get of age where they would prefer a gift (probably when they reach 3 or 4). Apart from the original trust fund amount, their parents on benefits. The only extra money that goes into their accounts is the money i put into it and my son and his girlfriend are happy with what i decide to do.

heppy23

carolwat wrote:

ok im not having a go at anyone but im very shocked to read that everyone who has posted on here thinks its ok to spend money that has been given as presents to their kids. my son is 2 years old and has 2 accounts totalling about £2500 and i would never ever even dream of taking his money whether i was going to pay it back at a later date or not. it is not my money to spend, it is his money and every penny of it will be there until the day he turns 18. every penny he has ever been given for being born, birthdays, xmas, easter etc has gone straight into his account.

i am really really shocked that people actually use their kids money.
regards
carol

ps like i said imnot having a go at anyone just telling you all that i was shocked to read this.

Our son William has about £1500 in various savings pots (savings accounts, premium bonds, CTF, halifax regular saver, stakeholder pension).

I take your point about it being "his" money but looking at what the OP is asking - one of the chi NEEDS a new bed - should that child sleep on an unsuitable bed while the money sits in a bank account somewhere?

My partner are I are fortunate that we can both afford all the expenses associated with a baby without having to think about getting him to pay for anything.

I have occasionally borrowed money from the baby (mainly to ensure the direct debits go through without me getting stung for charges) but I have always paid it back ASAP and normally add a fiver to cover any lost interest.

If my circumstances changed I wouldn't ever say "never" to touching his money - the AndyR example of the lad in Sheffield is a classic example.

beanielou

Its easy to take the moral high ground when you are not really short of anything or your kids dont desperatly need something.
I personally dont think anything wrong in using Christmas money to pay for bunk beds but that is my own opinion.

stephi103

I don't think it is wrong to buy them something for them (bunk beds) as we have asked for money to buy sons next stage car seat/new stuff for his new bedroom. I think you should use some of the money to go on a really nice day out and overnight stay for all of you. If you are in debt then your probably not doing this so it would be nice for all of you to have some nice family day out and not feel bad about it and you all have got something out of it, if there is any left over then you could then put it towards the debts.

I don't think its wrong to put the money towards the debt but I think you should all gain something from it first.

carolwat

i never said it was wrong to buy the kids bunk beds with the money but the OP said she sould use the money to pay off some of her debt. its her debt and not her kids so why should they pay for it. i dont see the point in spending the money on the kids by buying more toys as i know what its like to have a house full already that dont get played with much. i agree with her that its just a waste of money. i dont agree with the money being used to pay off her debts. put in into a bank account or keep the vouchers for the kids for when they do need something.

as for selling the toys etc on ebay and keeping the money. i dont do this either. the money from stuff i have sold on ebay belonging to my son has also gone into his account. im not saying im saintly for doing this so please dont say that about me. all im saying is that if i took his money i would feel wrong for doing it. ok so he doesnt need lots of money in his accounts now but what about in the future. its there for when hes older and he can use it to stop himself getting into debt.

regards
carol

sheryldoc

nickyhutch wrote:

The OP didn't say she was desperatley in need of the money, though, did she? Just that she felt the children aleady had enough presents. Put the money away for them for when they want something.

It's morally wrong to take your childen's money. It's been given to them, not to you.

That High horse your on is a cracker..

U should ride away into the sunset on it.. n right off this post..

advent1122

sheryldoc wrote:

That High horse your on is a cracker..

U should ride away into the sunset on it.. n right off this post..

What is wrong with a differing opinion?
I would never dream of stealing my childrens savings but each to their own.

sheryldoc

advent1122 wrote:

What is wrong with a differing opinion?
I would never dream of stealing my childrens savings but each to their own.

Stealing?

Uff away pap !!!!!! @ the moon..

As their guardian and seeing their young age.. isnt she responsible for them and what they recieve..

carolwat

sheryldoc wrote:

That High horse your on is a cracker..

U should ride away into the sunset on it.. n right off this post..

why should she leave this thread just because she happens to have a different opinion to you. i think the OP had to expect both agreements and disagreements with her proposals when she posted in the first place. if she thought what she was doing was totally right then she wouldnt have asked the question in the first place. she even asked people not to think of her as a bad mother surely she has some doubts herself whether its right. im not saying she is a bad mother either before you twist my words on that one. she obviously isnt otherwise she wouldnt think twice about spending the money on herself.

i think anyone can post their opinions on here whatever they are. if some people dont like it when others dont agree then maybe they should be the ones to leave this thread. now maybe you could climb down off your high horse and realise that everyone is different and everyone is sntitled to their own beliefs and opinions and they should not be told to leave because of them.

regards
carol

ps i do know what it feels like to have nothing and have had to work hard to get where i am now and although some people seem to think im lucky to be in the position i am now it has nothing to do with luck but more to do with knowing my limits and working damn hard.