Really worried - told lies & now they're getting social services involved

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

andreamoss wrote: »

I feel they have withdrawn my anonymity,

So, your name isn't Andrea Moss, then?

blabberwort

andreamoss wrote: »

I'm sorry, just really confused, what you mean is hubby can see kids but I can't, they're really attached to me, I don't know what to do, I was unwell when I wrote that, and my CPN knows as I was telling him at the time, he thought it was harmless to do it

I was prepared to give your thread the benefit of the doubt regarding authenticity, however after this post I no longer am.
There is no way on this earth any professional acting cpn would condone what you were doing and class it as harmless. If you had genuinely been doing this whilst your cpn was aware they would definently have advised you to not continue. To tell you what you were doing is harmless would be detrimental to improving your state of mind and wellbeing, and for that reason I think your lying.

If you are genuine then I suggest your husband has words with your cpn's boss, as his behaviour is unproffessional to say the least and he should be given further training before being let loose on ill people.

Wonder_Womble

andreamoss wrote: »

Somehow they have got my real details & address (I did give them in private messages to other users, as I met other mums there.

I know I've been stupid, I know that. But it was supposedly anonymous

How is it anonymous when you gave people your name and address?

I do have a paranoia, and do tend to tell lies, especially on forums, for sympathy.

Does that make this post a lie too?

Really, you need serious psychological help. The people who will suffer here are your DH and your kids.

inspirespirit

I would stop worrying. Nothing is going to happen. You are under medical supervision with a psychiatrist, health visitor and CPN. If any of these professionals were worried, SS would have been contacted before now.
Stop worrying, it will just make your paranoia worse.

Wonder_Womble

Just rear the whole thread through and I cannot believe that a CPN told you that what you were doing was harmless.

If I was your DH I would password lock all the computers in your house and not allow you access, or implement some parental controls so that you cannot access internet forums.

However if I was your DH I would also be considering divorce and custody of your kids. Your main concern seems to be that the people you told lies to have highlighted aspects of your sex life as possible abuse and the fact that you do not want to discuss this with SS

andreamoss wrote: »

Happierdaystocome, thanks, I'm definitely not experiencing sexual abuse. I do find it uncomfortable that they have chosen to highlight that, along with other just 'gossipy' things that were talked about, I had no idea that they would come back to haunt me. I understand their concern about the possible abuse, but to bring into play other things, that were candidly talked about, and others were freely admitting, makes me feel very naked, I feel they have withdrawn my anonymity, and these things I'm not prepared to discuss, even with my CPN, as they are just casual 'gossipy' things, like when you have a group of girls around and talk and laugh. Even if they were concerned, I'm more unhappy about that, than anything

If this is real and not a troll, do you think you have learned anything from this experience, or will you continue to access internet forums and tell lies about the people you are supposed to love most in the world?

andreamoss

Wonder_Womble wrote: »

Really, you need serious psychological help. The people who will suffer here are your DH and your kids.

I have got help - if you read the thread you will see that I am on meds & was ill at the time.

Also it wasn't all lies, it was, for most of the time, exaggerating.

If you don't know about mental illness (and you clearly don't) you will know how easy it is, when either very low, or very high, to become paranoid, and to really believe some things, that when you're well again you regret & realise was stupid - perhaps I should have said delusions as opposed to lies, because in a way, I truly did believe the things I wrote, and the replies I got would fuel my paranoia even more.

The situation is far more complex that just what I have written, it isn't simply a case of *lying*, if it was I wouldn't be worried, as I could easily get out of it. The problem is that some stuff is true, and as I got more delusional it got out of hand.

I never gave my address, or my real name, but I did make a friend through it, and they have obviously read my private messages, as they found me via my facebook.

Another really worrying thing is I confessed to being raped when my eldest child was younger (she's not hubby's). It was an attack by a friend, and they were imprisoned for it. They have used this as evidence that I cannot identify dangers & failed to keep her safe - she was in bed, and I've struggled to overcome the rape for years, so I think it is really low that they are using that against me

andreamoss

At Wonder Womble - of course I've learnt my lesson. I wish I could be more candid on here, but have been badly burnt. Of course it was a stupid, and irresponsible thing to do. Of course I never meant to cause any harm. I know I was wrong, but I was very ill at the time, and luckily I have a letter from the psychiatrist, from the same period, saying I needed emergency treatment. I think my hubby suffered more from that time than this, and he is glad that i got help then, and am better now

jackieglasgow

andreamoss I think it would be better for your mental health if you stopped reading this thread. Go take yourself out for a walk for some fresh air and don't read it again.

JimmyTheWig

andreamoss wrote: »

I have got myself caught up, and I am scared, my husband is stressed, and I can't imagine how I will prove that what i said is untrue, why would they believe me, they can print out my lies, and give them to a judge, and my husband & I will never see our kids again

OP, I think that there is a reasonable chance that you have been wound up on the other forum and that nothing will come of this at all.

However, as Pixiechic says...

Pixiechic wrote: »

You have written that your husband is a violent, abusive, drug taker. Implied that you are a victim of domestic violence and that you have children who are living within that environment.

I hope that social services do come to investigate the environment in which your children are living. From what you yourself have implied, a genuine concern for the welfare of your children has been flagged. If all is okay then you have nothing to worry about. If, they find a genuine cause for concern once they have visited, then at the very least your childrens welfare will be of paramount importance, I hope.

... I think it would be a good thing if Social Services investigated this.
How do you think the people on the other forum would feel if they did nothing and then later found out that your husband had done you and the kids in. They'd feel awful.
You see, it's quite common for a victim of domestic abuse to deny it all when confronted with authorities, or the threat of authorities. That may be why you saying now on the other forum that it wasn't true isn't having much effect.

But the good news...
You have professional people around you who know you. They will be able to vouch for you.
If they say that there is no history of abuse but there is history of lying on internet forums then I can't see SS taking it any further.

I hope that they investigate (that's their job) but, if what you are now saying is true, I hope they take no action.


I agree with other posters that it might be a good idea to take a break from all internet forums for a while. Maybe, if forums form part of your support network, discuss this will your professional help?
I think you should be more careful about personal details on the web - e.g. real name and address.
Imagine that anything you write on a forum is like writing it on the public toilet wall - anyone can read it. Imagine that anything you write in an email is like writing it on a postcard - the postie and various others can see it.

euronorris

andreamoss wrote: »

I meant that I'm so worried sick, that I was finding it hard to concentrate.

I do have problems, I see a psychiatrist & CPN. They are not concerned about my children, as they've seen how well looked after they are. They know about my lies on the internet - I've confessed, and my husband has told them.

I was off of medication when I wrote on the forums, I've been on medication since. There was no more problems, as when I felt better, I told them that I'd left hubby, and they were happy (I tried telling them I'd lied, but they said all abused women say that to cover up).

I then made the mistake, in replying to someone else, to mentioning hubby, and they jumped - saying that I'm still with my "abusive husband, with no boundaries, and not able to protect my children".

If you are not a troll, or on another wind up of some sort, then I suggest you discuss this latest incident with your pyschiatrist & CPN. They are the ones best placed to help you with this issue.