Do i go to my school reunion or do i leave the past behind.

skylight

I hate school reunions. A bunch of people that I didn't really like thus didn't keep in touch when I left school, all prancing around showing how wonderful their lives turned out.

So at the last one, my "trick" was to get some of my now ex's bouncer mates, all dressed to the nines in their suits/crombies and dark glasses. They forced their way through the crowd and declared, "Ma'am, there has been an incident, you need to attend urgently". My excuse to leave!!! Got a heck of a lot of emails FB requests the next day that I ignored.

Another is planned for latter this year. I really don't know if I want to go or not - there will be more old friends at this one rather than acuaintances so I might attend. I'll see how I feel on the day.

Artytarty

That's a cracker! Lol!

Mupette

dark_lady wrote: »

I have a high school reunion coming up at the end of July. Im not sure whether to go or not. I have some good memories of school but also some bad ones and the bad does outweigh the good. Ive put on a bit of weight (ok a lot of weight) and i was persecuted at school for being overweight (but the funny thing is looking back at old photos i looked fine) some of these "lovely people" also gave me a really nasty nickname due to me having long dark thick hair because they thought it made me look like a hippy.
They picked on me because i wasnt allowed to shave my legs. My mum is Italian and Catholic and thought it might lead to teenage pregnancy. And as for the teachers???? Well they spent five years moaning at me for not having the correct coloured PE kit. Truth was my poor mum was paying for everything cos my dad was a bit of a tightwad. She paid for all the school uniform for me and bro including five shirts each and she was working full time in a chicken factory just to afford this so no way was i bugging her just cos the school wanted me to wear green t shirts for PE. I certainly hope todays teachers have more common sense than my PE teachers in the 80s did. At eleven years old yes i could have got a paper round and paid for them myself but my mum was very over protective and wouldnt let me. She was the same with my brother.
And because i was getting bullied at school mum was worried about me bumping into those responsible if i went out in the evening.
However on the flip side i did have a bunch of good friends at school so i am really in a quandary about this. Have any of you been to a school reunion and how did you handle things? I left school in 1989 by the way. Thanks for reading this long waffle.

I see where you are coming from.... let me tell you about me and mine.


81-86 was my school years, mum and dad were really poor so i had the school uniform, and for some reason mum had me in wellington boots, something about me going through shoes too fast...

School uniform got dumped after 2 years and we were allowed jeans (not me)

Then there was the facial thing i had. We all have cartledge in our noses... should grow down the nose right? mine grew down through a nostrel, and it looked like a bogey, i was teased, i was pinned down and people tried picking the 'bogey' out with my compass...

I was one of the girls that was not in the 'in' crowd, was teasted and picked on though out my school years...


1 person i was friends with in the final year at school, we are still very much the best of friends, have been all these years, pubbing and clubbing etc..
another saw me after school we hooked up and again very much best of firends now.

There were reunions in the past and i didnt want to go... scared, frightened, and then last year i thought sod it..

Saw loads i knew at the reunion, and after a few drinks i sat outside with them as we smoked our ciggies, and i told them how i felt, and did they feel any better for being my bullies.. each and every one said sorry (and meant it) some took me aside and told me they were also being bullied, one girl emailled me and asked for forgivenes for what she was like, i told her to forget it, we were both probably anoying cows and it's now in the past, again we get on like a house on fire.

I have M.S. and all these people are aware and there for me now. They have said sorry and i have forgiven, it's in the past now, I had one yesterday in my home putting in an outside tap for me and he did a fab job.

I love these people, i feel at peace with it all now, wouldnt want to go through it all again, they were all nice to me before i told them about the M.S.


So yes i am glad i finally went to a reuntion, made lots of re aquatances, we go out now and then, well they go out more its just i can't always go, i have ducked out of quite a few because of the MS, but they understand and make sure i am ok.

I guess mine ended with a happy ending.

shy-but-need-help

I wouldn't go.

I left at 16 to go to the local college because I suffered so much in high school, I had my oldest daughter in A-level year and the few people I'd counted as true friends at school would rather cross the road than speak to me when I was pregnant with her- I drew a line under it and got on with being a good mother, enjoying having a loving husband and moved forward to friends that accepted me as I am.

I have no need to go to my reunion, it'll be all the people in high school who most likely aren't as happy as me but do have more to show for their lives career/financially and will take that as meaning they've achieved more *sigh* I don't need to go and tell them that I'm happy living in an average house, with an average life, constantly juggling the bills. I know I like my life, I know I like the person I turned out to be without them and that's enough for me.

My sister on the other hand did go to hers to prove she wasn't the chubby, uncool kid (we went to a well to do high school but never quite fit in as our dad was "working boy done good" where as everyone else's parents were doctors, lawyers etc Dad had built up from being a tool maker to owning several factories) My sister is very sucessful- she gained 2 degrees and her post-grad studies in both, she worked as a lawyer, an insolvency practitioner and became a teacher after she married and decided she wanted a family. She has a gorgeous house, nice car, even her pets are literally award winning quality, her only child is a model, her husband is a lovely man with a good career... her life is perfect by all standard but do you know they STILL found things to b*tch and gossip about and ways to pick, pick, pick at her once it was over and they'd all put on fake smiles to her face?

Why? Because the people who were b*st*rds to her in high school are the type of idiots who will spend their life feeling better about themselves by putting others down, the fact my sister hads been their target and actually done fabulously for herself meant afterwards they had to try and berate everything she worked her backside off for in order to feel happy with their own existances again.

So no, I wouldn't go.

Hermia

I had a miserable time at secondary school so I haven't been to the two reunions that were organised. I just can't see the point. From what I can gather the bullies from my class are still bullies so I don't really want to see them again. If I wanted to keep in touch with someone I would have done so or would contact them via the internet. I have one friend who went to a school reunion and didn't regret it as she got her revenge! She was really, really badly bullied at school because she was from a very poor family, had thick glasses, was studious and was sweet and shy. She is now a beautiful woman with a successful career as an entertainment agent, has a handsome actor husband and has even been thanked in BAFTA acceptance speeches. She didn't want to go to the reunion, but felt that it would provide some closure if she did. So, she put on her loveliest designer frock, had her hair and make-up professionally done and totally worked that room. She said the nice girls from school were really pleased for her and the bullies stood there looking like they were sucking lemons!

balletshoes

OP I have read your post, but none of the replies yet. I wouldn't go to my high school reunion if you paid me. I wasn't bullied, didn't have a bad time, had friends etc. But I've grown away from my home town, and the thought of spending the evening with folk I haven't seen for 25 years or more and exchanging small talk is just not my idea of fun.

I think it would be different if I were still very good friends with any of the kids I went to school with, but I'm not (not even acquaintances with any of them).

bratz81

I wouldn't go either. I left school in 2000 after doing A-levels and there was a 10yr reunion last year, organised by one of the 'in-crowd'.

I was bullied in school and didn't really fit in. I was fat, had braces and glasses, and sticky-out ears and was quiet and shy. Total change to today - now you can't shut me up, my teeth are straight, my ears pinned back and laser surgery. Plus not as fat lol. So I feel tons better about myself but I know going back to see all those people who bullied me would make me feel insecure again.

Plus, if I really wanted to stay in touch I would have. I haven't, so tells you how much I cared about those people. why would I want to spend an evening with them??

pimento

This is topical for me because I'm in the middle of arranging a reunion for our primary school class of 1972. There are only 35 of us and the teacher and so far we have managed to contact about 20 of the class and the only person who has sent regrets is the one whose birthday falls the same day (50th, so a biggie) and already has a party planned. One is coming all the way from Canada for it.

To be honest, I think most of the attendees are coming to see our teacher again, who was lovely, but I really don't recognise the scenarios some of you are describing as having happened at our school. Most people seem really enthusiastic.

I'm just sorry that we can't find everyone.

Hermia

pimento wrote: »

To be honest, I think most of the attendees are coming to see our teacher again, who was lovely, but I really don't recognise the scenarios some of you are describing as having happened at our school.

Perhaps because it is a primary school reunion? I suspect that a lot of the people who are recounting these scenarios are talking about secondary school. My secondary school was a dog-eat-dog London comprehensive girl's school. I don't think many kids were happy.

Little_Leita

Just from a personal point of view... I was invited to a reunion via facebook and declined.

I'm the same age as you, Came from a poor household (both parents were hit hard by the 80s unemployement crisis) so had no fashionable clothes, Was a late bloomer with huge hair and was called all manner of names for being too thin.

Fast forward to now: I look young for someone kicking 40, I've filled out nicely, big hair is actually fashionable, :eek: I learnt early on how to throw an outfit together and accessorise on a budget. I have 2 lovely kids, fantastic friends of all ages, sizes, orientations, a busy social life, my own home, a decent job, am in a blossoming relationship, and am generally very happy with my lot.

I fantasised over the last 10 or 15 years about a school reunion and that whole 'look at me now' moment, but when it came down to it I just feel a million miles away from the girl I was back then. A lot of my ex school friends still live in the same place, within a few streets of each other, their kids all go to our old school, and they still seem to be the same shallow gossipy people they used to be. I have no desire to go back, nor any room in my life for them.

One thing I am grateful for is that it taught me never to judge by appearances. I treat people as they treat me. I have a big heart, excellent instincts and a very low bullsh!t tolerance...all valuable 'fings wot I learnt at school that weren't on the curriculum!

Like i say this is my experience, but I get the feeling you have kind of the same thoughts as I do about school! Let us know what you decide?