Lack of intimacy in relationship

mr_jim

Thanks everyone.

I think it's clear we have to talk about it. Hopefully we can spark things back up but I really can't see it happening despite me wanting it to so much. I just don't want it to come out as let's have sex or I'm going to leave. We are so much more than this issue, but I can't live feeling so unsatisfied and undesired for the next 50 years.

CH27

You do have to talk about it. You cannot sustain a long term relationship with one person feeling rejected.

Do you children? Do you both want children?

Darlyd

OP I think she may just be lacking confidence (the comment you said you compliment her daily). Just keep saying how beautiful she is, how much you love her, wink at her, when you kiss make it really pashinate (omg sp). With me my husband just has a really low drive, always have from day 1, didn't think it would be to much of an issue but it makes me feel bleaurgh.

I so hear you though about feeling you want to leave as I have been the same. We also have a little bit more going on which has made me basicly scream and wanting out, I have looked for houses, but they so expensive, and I am terrified of being on my own with 2 kids and not sure how I will manage financially SO that has made me work on it more. I want to go to relate but he doesn't, I want him to go to the doctors about the other problem in our lives (caused by drink but not violance) But he won't. So frustrating init? arghh

scooby088

It is hard and there might be more to you OH not wanting sex maybe she doesn't think about it all, i am currently about 12 months without sex and yes i can say it's damn hard when you want to be intimate with your partner but they don't, but i also think it really selfish of myself sometimes to keep asking for sex, but i have noticed for myself in the last 12 months i have become less cuddling or hugging and even kissing is a hop and a catch now. I know the lack of intimacy is effecting my relationship i try to not let it though, but in the end i know it's my own decision to put up with it and my own fault i haven't done anything about it.

clearing_out_my_pockets

OP - you may well not know the answer to this, but do you know WHY she has lost confidence in herself / the way she looks?

mr_jim

We don't have kids but have spoken about the possibilty (although it wouldn't be for a few years).

I try and balance paying her compliments kissing her etc without her feeling constantly pressured. I don't want it to be 10 years later and still be as we are now - I would never cheat on somebody but the thought that p*rn would be the only stimulation is horrid.

She is by no means fat, but thinks she is overweight as she has been slimmer before. Again, it doesn't matter what I say...

CH27

You are in a very difficult situation. From your posts it's obvious that the lack of intamacy is making you unhappy.
Between you both you need to work out a way forward that you are both happy with or decide to call it a day.

mr_jim

I wish she saw herself as I see her...

clearing_out_my_pockets

mr_jim wrote: »

I wish she saw herself as I see her...

Have you said these exact words to her?

mr_jim

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

Have you said these exact words to her?

Yes I have...