Help....not sure what to do.

Jackie47

blue_monkey wrote: »

Hysterical!! :rotfl:

You have to wonder how many more there were. :eek:

Perhaps a MSE Roll-call? :rotfl:

andy.m_2

seriously?!?

I'm going to use a different username but.....

I'm going to give every conceivable detail that makes it nigh on impossible to NOT identify you.
Twins, husband telling lies about Iraq, ankles etc etc

Not much scope for ambiguity there then

Tygermoth

Hi Jackie47

I did call his 'ex' as he had started saying and doing things that made me uncomfortable (we were not in a relationship… more at the courting stage… but he wanted to be coupled up and was very pushy) And was making up tales about this 'ex' that I just could not believe (and a few other things too). My alarm bells were ringing.

During a conversation I very gently brought up the 'ex' to clarify a few things and he flew in to a paddy demanding I call his 'ex' to get confirmation of her ills, in that arm waving, 'you don’t trust me' dramatics of some one caught out… so I backed off…. a few days later after another disquieting incident (involving a hoo-ha over money) I decided to take him up on his offer and took the number off his mobile. Well, he had asked me to *grin*

I think the lady I called was 'up north' I was further down south had a very informative short but sweet conversation where the lady in question told me he was bonkers and avoid like the plague. She was a bit upset at the beginning of the call I think he had recently done her over, but by the end she was truly dishing the dirt.

And his as$ was dumped two seconds after I hung up her call.

Was that you?

Padstow

Ooh Tygermoth, I didn't know that arms waving like a windmill was a common sign. When my ex used to do that, I called it his Basil Fawlty.

I could never live with a liar again, not even if due to mental illness. It totally messes with your mind. I look back on things my ex said during the marriage and I have no idea now whether they were true or not, though I believed them at the time.

Marriage is supposed to be a partnership built on trust. How can it work if you can't trust them to tell the truth?
Remember too that to cheat, they have to lie. Another good reason not to live with one.

Tygermoth

Hi Padstow,

Lol good way to describe it 'Basil Fawlty' - it was all the overblown posturing, hand to brow with the 'I would never lie to you' in a slightly overdramatic, as if meant for a wider audience, that set my teeth on edge and had me questioning things.

However (in the beginning) he was so very charming, thoughtful, sweet, loving and likeable and made it so easy to doubt yourself that I could see why, if you stayed around him for some time it would suck you in and drive you under to a very bad place.

Due to luck rather than judgement I was not influenced too much by him (in retrospect I think he had been forcefully bounced from the current squeeze and was pushing hard so he could move in as I had my own place which he coveted) He didn’t get the chance to fully win me over on the charm offensive before the cracks started showing because he was rushing the 'romance' to get his foot in the door.

murphydog999

Flippin heck, what are these blokes like!! Something must have happened way back to make him so insecure, that he has to big himself up - perhaps when his dad died he thought he should take on role of the head of the family, at sixteen the boy-to-man thing will be very prevalent and had more of an effect than he realised? I'm surmising, and it really doesn't make any difference to the OP circumstances.

Will he change? Will he change enough for you to love him enough to stay with him?

I think from what you are (not) saying, is that if you had the money/support/somewhere else to live, you would leave. (I think there are many other women who feel trapped like that.) It seems like you already know what the future entails, I would think about using your time finding help/what is available to you/legal rights, and then trying to find an amicable solution.

I wish you well.

Tygermoth

Oooh I just remembered something.

I, myself, was called about 9 or 10 months later by a woman shouting down the phone at me about how terrible I was for taking more than I was due in maintenance so there was no money and not letting him see the kids.

After a period of confusion about who she was and who the bloke she was talking about was, and what kids?… I realised what was going on. Very calmly I put her right, confirmed I had no kids was not taking his money and confirmed some of his tall tales were all BS and proved it.

She left the call considerably more enlightened than she started. I always hoped she chose to do something with the info I provided her.

Jackie47

Tygermoth wrote: »

Hi Jackie47

I did call his 'ex' as he had started saying and doing things that made me uncomfortable (we were not in a relationship… more at the courting stage… but he wanted to be coupled up and was very pushy) And was making up tales about this 'ex' that I just could not believe (and a few other things too). My alarm bells were ringing.

During a conversation I very gently brought up the 'ex' to clarify a few things and he flew in to a paddy demanding I call his 'ex' to get confirmation of her ills, in that arm waving, 'you don’t trust me' dramatics of some one caught out… so I backed off…. a few days later after another disquieting incident (involving a hoo-ha over money) I decided to take him up on his offer and took the number off his mobile. Well, he had asked me to *grin*

I think the lady I called was 'up north' I was further down south had a very informative short but sweet conversation where the lady in question told me he was bonkers and avoid like the plague. She was a bit upset at the beginning of the call I think he had recently done her over, but by the end she was truly dishing the dirt.

And his as$ was dumped two seconds after I hung up her call.

Was that you?

Hi Tygermoth

Lol..this just gets better and better, bless his sorry !!! :rotfl:

That wasn't me you spoke too...this lady just asked if he had been in the Army etc etc. I told her I wasn't sure but that's what he'd told me! I was a "internet virgin" at that point so was very taken in by him!!! (more fool me..lol)

Makes me wonder how long his list of contacts were in his phone though...he used to call me "princess"...now I know why :rotfl:

Was he still living with his Mum near Wisbech when you were seeing him? And did you meet his Mum? I did a few times much to my horror...I have never, in all my life, met a more foul mouthed woman :eek::eek::eek::eek:

He was extremely pushy with me too...I was only "seeing" him (use that word loosely as most of it was internet chat, I probably saw him about 8 times) for about 3 months but I was the love of his life, had to move in together, he would look after me forever etc etc

Wonder if he's still at it now...lololol

Tygermoth

Hi Jackie

Firstly to the OP... Sorry for hijacking your thread!

And now on to the Idjit.

No, I never met the mother. I lived near Peterborough at the time but for some reason he was spinning the yarn he lived in Leeds and was from there originally.

He never told me he was a local boy. How odd!

He used to 'drop in' from various Army locations just to see me and I would be really impressed!

Thanks to you I now know he just drove from the next town over *I am laughing SO hard its untrue* How gullible was I? lololol

busiscoming2

I was married to a compulsive liar, met him when we were both 16 and always believed what he told me. I had no reason not to, in fact a lot of what he spouted over the years turned out to be false, but I didn't find out till afterwards and then you feel so stupid for being naive and trusting.

OP see a solicitor and get away from him, he is a prat and there is life afterwards but it takes a while to believe any one again.