Relationship advice needed - boyfriend hasn't moved in

diable

Amy_1984 wrote: »

We've been together 5 years - of course I do. I made an effort with his family, went to mosque and weddings, but they never liked me.

The reason they don't like you is that they want their son to be with a muslim girl as being with you in their racist beliefs bring shame on the family in the eyes of their elders.

There was a good film on TV the other day regarding a similar situation....

To be blunt you may be better off out of this as I have known people that ended up in a horrendous situation after getting married.

Forgot to add that as a female if you are ever marry in to the family you may loose your identity as you should be subservient and not equal and this is what will get their narrow minded little brains working overtime.

CH27

Amy_1984 wrote: »

We've been together 5 years - of course I do. I made an effort with his family, went to mosque and weddings, but they never liked me.

They possibly don't like you because they want their son to marry a muslim girl who understands them & their ways.

Was it your boyfriend's idea to move in together or were you the main instigator of moving the relationship forward?

I think you need to think long & hard if you could live with the expectations & possible limitations that will be placed on you if the relationship continues.

diable

Amy_1984 wrote: »

We've been together 5 years - of course I do. I made an effort with his family, went to mosque and weddings, but they never liked me.

They are bigots and racists, Sorry.

NickyBat

whether she understands them or not, the point is, is that her boyfriend should never have agreed to move forward with their relationship if he never really had any intentions of actually doing so. Also if he is so keen to stick by his mother, then he shouldn't have started a relationship with a non muslim girl knowing it was never going to go anywhere.

getmore4less

Muslem cover a very broad cultural spectrum depending of the origins and some are more extream views than others.

Extended family is much more common.

IT would appear you may have misjudged the situation.

Was the brother marriage a free choice or arranged?

Kate78

I'll just share the experience of a friend of mine, whose Muslim boyfriend DID defy tradition and moved in with her. The lived together for five years, she thought it was the real thing.

For him it was a bit of fun and when he split up with her it was to marry the girl his parents had chosen for him. The wife he had asked them to find while my friend was thinking everything was hunky dory.

Of course one cannot generalise, this is only one experience, but I would hate it to be yours.

Love should conquer all, but don't underestimate the impact of family and culture.

pozalina

I have a friend who is currently dating a muslim guy, she is non-muslim. She knows it will go nowhere, not because he has told her but because she has an understanding of the culture and expectations other posters have mentioned above. If the OPs boyfriend was prepared to go against his family and reject an arranged marriage etc, he would have moved in with her already. The fact that he has not is a warning sign. He is clearly torn but without knowing the situation or the people involved my guess would be that he will ultimately choose his family. Sorry, OP. It must be a really difficult situation for you to be in.