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Relationship advice needed - boyfriend hasn't moved in

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Comments

  • scooby088
    scooby088 Posts: 3,385 Forumite
    I have often told my OH had my mother still be alive i would still be living with her, nothing to do with me not wanting to be with my OH just that i only had 17 years of my life before my mother died and i'd liked to have known her for a lot longer. There is also the fact that he might be a mommies boy and probably has got life pretty cushy at the moment. Whereas when he moves in with you he will be 100% independent some people cannot cope with that.
  • FatVonD
    FatVonD Posts: 5,315 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    Errata wrote: »
    Is there a cultural reason for the mother demanding that her sons and wives/children must live in the family compound?

    I'm with Errata on this one, is there a cultural reason that might explain it?
    Make £25 a day in April £0/£750 (March £584, February £602, January £883.66)

    December £361.54, November £322.28, October £288.52, September £374.30, August £223.95, July £71.45, June £251.22, May£119.33, April £236.24, March £106.74, Feb £40.99, Jan £98.54) Total for 2017 - £2,495.10
  • Amy_1984
    Amy_1984 Posts: 11 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Errata wrote: »
    Is there a cultural reason for the mother demanding that her sons and wives/children must live in the family compound?

    Well, they are a Muslim family, but I don't think that's any excuse. I don't really think it's anything to do with that - his brother married a Muslim girl and he's getting the same treatment.
  • daska
    daska Posts: 6,212 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Not an excuse LOL, nor a treatment, more an expectation. It's quite usual for the wife to move in with the husband as part of his family. Used to be the norm here once upon a time.
    Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants - Michael Pollan
    48 down, 22 to go
    Low carb, low oxalate Primal + dairy
    From size 24 to 16 and now stuck...
  • Errata
    Errata Posts: 38,230 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Amy_1984 wrote: »
    Well, they are a Muslim family, but I don't think that's any excuse. I don't really think it's anything to do with that - his brother married a Muslim girl and he's getting the same treatment.

    It's not an excuse, it's a reason. Don't expect him to move in with you, and make sure you get this month's rent off him because I suspect that will be the last financial contribution he makes.
    .................:)....I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on ...:)
  • CH27
    CH27 Posts: 5,531 Forumite
    Amy_1984 wrote: »
    Well, they are a Muslim family, but I don't think that's any excuse. I don't really think it's anything to do with that - his brother married a Muslim girl and he's getting the same treatment.

    May I ask are you a Muslim?
    Are they objecting to you because you don't share their religion & cultural habits?
    Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud.
  • daska
    daska Posts: 6,212 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    CH27 wrote: »
    May I ask are you a Muslim?
    Are they objecting to you because you don't share their religion & cultural habits?

    I suspect not, given that she doesn't appear aware of the importance of family in the Muslim religion, law and culture.
    Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants - Michael Pollan
    48 down, 22 to go
    Low carb, low oxalate Primal + dairy
    From size 24 to 16 and now stuck...
  • Amy_1984
    Amy_1984 Posts: 11 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    CH27 wrote: »
    May I ask are you a Muslim?
    Are they objecting to you because you don't share their religion & cultural habits?

    I'm not a Muslim, and I refuse to be discriminated against because of my religion.
  • CH27
    CH27 Posts: 5,531 Forumite
    Amy_1984 wrote: »
    I'm not a Muslim, and I refuse to be discriminated against because of my religion.


    Do you have any understanding of your boyfriend's religion & culture?
    Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud.
  • Amy_1984
    Amy_1984 Posts: 11 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    CH27 wrote: »
    Do you have any understanding of your boyfriend's religion & culture?

    We've been together 5 years - of course I do. I made an effort with his family, went to mosque and weddings, but they never liked me.
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