Relationship advice needed - boyfriend hasn't moved in

Pollycat

Amy_1984 wrote: »

Okay, everyone. As much as I hate ultimatums, I told him he has until the end of May. I will keep everyone posted.

I don't like ultimatums either, Amy, but I don't think you had much choice if you don't want things to just drift on.

Did he give you any indication of which way he's likely to jump?
Did you get any positives vibes from him?

I hope it works out for you, but if it doesn't at least you can move on and find somebody who will put you first.

flutterby_lil

Well done for putting yourself first and giving him a deadline.

Hope it works out for you hon.

Bloomin_Freezing2

Well done you op. I wonder what his poor brothers wife makes of it all and living under this dragons roof?

If he chooses he can't leave his mum, it will be a blessing in disguise as you'd always be second best, and you deserve to be someones number one!

mackemdave

|Tell him in a months time you are going to advertise for a lodger as you sick of waiting.....

DON79

I think you have done the right thing too - been there - was actually engaged & getting married to a mummy's boys ages ago... Should have spotted the signs when his mum got in a major huff because I would not let her choose which sofa we were going have lol.... They wanted to buy us it as a present but they would be the ones who picked it without any consultation with us over style or colour. I won that battle but lost the war I guess as he called it all off two weeks before the wedding. He was 23/24 too and still living at home.

But it is the luckiest escape I ever had even though it felt awful at the time. I am now married with kids and no way are my boys going to be spineless wimps like my ex was and I want them to be independent & know their own minds.

bargainbetty

I really hope it doesn't come to this, but if you do end up needing a lodger, have a look for a website called Mondaytofriday.com - they arrange room lets for people who work away during the week, but go home at weekends, so you'll still have some privacy if you want it.

I've nothing to do with the site, but I know a couple of people who used it and found someone to help with finances for a bit!

I dated a mummy's boy too. Ended it after he got sulky because I told him that he needed to help me cook dinner one night, since I had cooked the last four evenings we had been together. He told me it was the woman's job to cook, and his job to do household and car maintenance type things.

I told him to check and oil the hinges of the front door so it didn't smack his ar*e on the way out.

murphydog999

I can't help wondering what is entailed in the 'disowning?'

Does the family have money and he will be struck off the will?

If the relationship doesn't work, is he scared he won't be allowed back?

Can he not do without mum's washing and cooking skills ever again?

And.....do we presume that, as there has been no mention of a father, she (mother) wants to keep men round her and she is scared of being on her own?

Blokes :huh:

lostinrates

bargainbetty wrote: »

I really hope it doesn't come to this, but if you do end up needing a lodger, have a look for a website called Mondaytofriday.com - they arrange room lets for people who work away during the week, but go home at weekends, so you'll still have some privacy if you want it.

I've nothing to do with the site, but I know a couple of people who used it and found someone to help with finances for a bit!.

DH has used it and found a fabulous place with a LL he's still friends with. Problem here might be that i think OP might be a tenant not a homeowner and subletting might not be ok with the LL?

dearbarbie

OP - any news?

Dinah93

Just as a tiny bit of positivity, when I met my now OH his mother made no secret of the fact she hated me. She called me all kinds of names, told him he'd be cut off (from a very substantial family fortune) as well as not speaking to him again if he moved from Ireland to England to be with me. Well he moved, and wasn't cut off. The two of them bumbled along unevenly for a few years till we got married, where she tried to pay my mum e6000 to swap places at the top table, refused to clap for us, and called me a w***e on our wedding day! And he stood up to her and told her I brought him happiness and if she couldn't accept that he didn't want her in his life. That was 9 months ago and they've only spoken when she called to say his granny had had a stroke (she still managed to get in he's a dissapointment as a son and she can prove he has been lied to but whats the point as he wouldn't believe her). I feel 100% secure in our marriage now as I know he has the choice and he picked me time and time again.

Best of luck, if he's worth it, he'll come through for you.