Those who are waiting to TTC

claire16c

browneyedbazzi wrote: »

Hi claire - my partner is english (sucker for the accent! lol)

I watched a programmed called p*ssed and pregnant (or something like that) a few weeks ago and the midwives on there actually told women that it was ok to have a few drinks..and a lot of them had more than a few and thought it was terrible for a woman to have to 'put her life on hold' while pregnant (as though you can't have a 'life' without alcohol!). I was shocked! I have to admit that the women I know have not drank alcohol during pregnancy, but my friends tend to be quite responsible people.

I suspect you're right and the sort of pressures you get exposed to depends a lot on social circles, what you watch etc.

Breastfeeding wise - I don't think anyone would argue that it isn't generally the best thing for babies but I think there are circumstances where switching to/supplementing with formula is the right thing to do. My friend's baby girl was breast feeding constantly, not putting on weight and it was exhausting her making her and the baby cranky...she switched onto formula and the baby has started to put on weight, sleep better and mum feels much better...except that one of the midwives seems to feel a need to guilt trip her about not breastfeeding! As if a new first time mum needs that sort of stress put onto her! Thankfully she's quite a strong willed woman and didn't take it to heart, but I expect a lot of people would.

ha! My sister is with a Canadian Whom Ive learnt from how to tell the difference between a Canadian and American accent. My sister told him people would think he was American when he came over here - apparently he said he'd just keep quiet then :rotfl: My sister living there though, is always having problems with people understanding her for some reason!

Oh god I saw that programme was on the other night I couldnt watch it as I knew it would make me angry. I would be shocked to hear a midwife say that too surely they should be suggesting to just not drink its not exactly hard. If the idea of having a drink for those type of people is to get drunk theyre hardly going to stop at one are they..

browneyedbazzi

amyloofoo - thanks for the info. I suppose I just don't understand how either having or not having one small glass of wine a week can be the difference between being stressed or not. I don't think alcohol should be used as a stress management tool in any circumstance. Doing so often prevents people from developing effective/healthy coping systems and it can lead to alcohol dependency.

I might see things from a different angle because I come from a family of people with addictive personalities and that's made me really sensitive about such things..I don't want to end up the way I've seen a lot of people go so I've always said the moment I feel like I 'need' a drink is the moment I choose not to have one. On a couple of different occasions I've made a decision to stop drinking altogether for a year because I had that 'I need a drink' feeling one day.

Claire16c - I agree with you in that people who feel they *need* a drink to manage their stress and who latch onto the advice that 'a little bit is ok' to justify their drinking are not very likely to stop at one 125ml glass. I don't think many people would even pour a proper small glass - In my old job I used to do talks about health and alcohol and one thing we did was ask people to pour what they thought was a '125 ml small glass' of wine or a single of a spirit etc....not one person poured under the unit size and the average was nearly double the measure.

The first trimester is crucial in whether or not a baby develops the outward signs of FAS but brain development continues throughout the pregnancy so drinking later on in pregnancy can still lead to problems...they're just not as visible.

Perhaps more needs to be done to support these women in developing healthy stress management skills? Saying it's ok to have that drink if it stops you stressing seems to be a massive cop out to me.

Claire16c - does your sister have a regional accent? I really struggled with people from some areas when I moved here. I actually had to turn down a job offer at a law firm because I couldn't understand a word of what one of the solicitors was saying. I've gotten used to it now but I do still need to ask for a bit of translation from people on occasion!

amus

I had small amounts of alcohol when I was pregnant with DS1 and DS2 (quarter of a glass with Sunday lunch) but when I was pregnant I was told by the midwives this was considered OK. If they had said drinking such a small amount would do any harm I wouldnt have done, in all honsesty I dont think such small amounts would have a converse effect on the wellbeing of baby. To be fair thats all I drink even when Im not pregnant unless I go out with friends, Im not a big drinker at home.

To be honest I find it disgusting that some women cannot give up drinking singnificant amounts of alcohol/smoking/drug taking during pregnancy. If they are too selfish to do that for the sake of their child how on earth are they going to have the skills to be decent parents (i.e. putting your child, when necessary before your own wants and needs).

And I dont buy the whole 'my doctor told me quitting smoking would be more harmful to the baby because of the stress', rubbish!

Sorry that was a bit ranty wasnt it!

claire16c

browneyedbazzi wrote: »

amyloofoo - thanks for the info. I suppose I just don't understand how either having or not having one small glass of wine a week can be the difference between being stressed or not. I don't think alcohol should be used as a stress management tool in any circumstance. Doing so often prevents people from developing effective/healthy coping systems and it can lead to alcohol dependency.

I might see things from a different angle because I come from a family of people with addictive personalities and that's made me really sensitive about such things..I don't want to end up the way I've seen a lot of people go so I've always said the moment I feel like I 'need' a drink is the moment I choose not to have one. On a couple of different occasions I've made a decision to stop drinking altogether for a year because I had that 'I need a drink' feeling one day.

Claire16c - I agree with you in that people who feel they *need* a drink to manage their stress and who latch onto the advice that 'a little bit is ok' to justify their drinking are not very likely to stop at one 125ml glass. I don't think many people would even pour a proper small glass - In my old job I used to do talks about health and alcohol and one thing we did was ask people to pour what they thought was a '125 ml small glass' of wine or a single of a spirit etc....not one person poured under the unit size and the average was nearly double the measure.

The first trimester is crucial in whether or not a baby develops the outward signs of FAS but brain development continues throughout the pregnancy so drinking later on in pregnancy can still lead to problems...they're just not as visible.

Perhaps more needs to be done to support these women in developing healthy stress management skills? Saying it's ok to have that drink if it stops you stressing seems to be a massive cop out to me.

Claire16c - does your sister have a regional accent? I really struggled with people from some areas when I moved here. I actually had to turn down a job offer at a law firm because I couldn't understand a word of what one of the solicitors was saying. I've gotten used to it now but I do still need to ask for a bit of translation from people on occasion!

Nope thats the thing we're from the South East - nearish London. So we have a very bog standard accent. She could understand if she was a scouser or from scotland or somewhere like that! I can have trouble with that myself So shes like Im from England speaking English how can you not get it arrrrh! It seems to happen a lot, especially on the phone. So she has been known to fake a Canadian accent after shouting didnt work :rotfl:

Someone actually said to her once 'You speak really good English.' :rotfl:And yes they knew she was from England. Maybe its the part of Canada she lives in or something?? Put it this way - theyre not exactly in the city... and some of the people she has worked with are always asking odd questions about England as if its still in the 1600s or something!?

I think some of them have barely left the area they live in and maybe didnt learn much at school geography wise? I cant imagine it would be that bad if she lived in say Toronto or somewhere like that. Thats the feeling I get anyway. I mean Ive heard English people ask very stupid things about people from other countries so its not like its just a Canadian thing, I think maybe some people just dont have much of a clue about anything except their own life/country/town etc and dont watch any news that isnt regional centric. Normally its the US that is the worst for that as an example. Although I still dont get how she can not be understood!

yeah I agree. If youre using alcohol to destress yourself, then one glass isnt really going to help that if you do that all the time, and using that as a technique is not a good thing in the first place. there should be other ways of chilling out than reaching for the bottle. And if youre not using it to destress - then you dont really need it either anyway-just have something else instead and dont take the risk? I really used to think that the odd glass was ok until I read up on it.

credit_crunch

Hi everyone!
I have just found this thread
I got married a few weeks back, and have just had my Mirena coil removed. We aren't TTC just yet, but will be contraceptive free for the next few months, to see how things pan out.

I would like to start taking a better multi vitamin / supplement.
I current take boots own brand multi vitamin which has 200mg folic acid - is it true I should be taking at least double that?
My issue is I cant swallow tablets, so I need something chewable or soluble!
Any ideas please?
Thanks

browneyedbazzi

Hello and welcome credit_crunch!

I think 400 micrograms of folic acid per day is what is recommended for most women of childbearing age to take (there are situations where a higher dose is prescribed)...they come in really little tablets from boots or any supermarket (think smaller than a tictac). I'm not sure about chewable/soluble ones but the best thing to do is probably to talk to your doctor or pharmacist to check what dose is right for you and to find out if it's available over the counter or on prescription in a format that suits you.

credit_crunch

thanks bazzi
i just cant manage tablets - even the pill was too much, hence having the coil put in! Maybe someday I will be able to manage it, but I doubt it :mad:
The only things I can find online are USA websites, so not sure if they would have a different content than UK ones etc
Thanks anyways

Hopelass

Hi Ladies

Just popping in briefly - Credit_Crunch have a look at this link I found for you. It is expensive but then I take pregnacare which are hardly cheap! :eek: So it may be worth a try?

http://www.yourhealthbasket.co.uk/index.php?l=product_detail&p=103

BabyMad - thanks, I have been enjoying driving the new car around this weekend but can't get used to having 5 doors! I also miss our flat due to the close proximity to town etc but ultimately the house is better and we have a garden!

Am off again now - only a quick visit as had my OH's nephews 2nd birthday party today and need a lie down! Better toughen up eh?:rotfl:

Hugs to all who need them - Sunday night, work tomorrow BooHiss!
xx

claire16c

Credit crunch the tablets are really small, Id say even smaller than the Pill. Considering how cheap they are you could just buy a bottle and try? I am really bad at taking tablets too but they are honestly tiny.

cozza123

Hi everyone
thought i'd come and join in as i need all the help I can get here's my story i'm 28 and ttc after 3 mc's we don't have any children been to the hospital for tests and all come back fine, been trying for a few months after getting results and nothing and before i could get pregnant really quickly.

I don't drink, I don't smoke, I take pregnacare and only drink decaf

Any tips would be greatfully appreciated