Those who are waiting to TTC

head_in_clouds

Whackadoodle wrote: »

Hi head_in_clouds!

I've been 8 months I think since I stopped taken mycrogynon (sp?). It does get better honest, last couple of months I've been much more regular (sorry if that's TMI). Although my skin is horrendous, honestly it's worse than when I was a teenager!!! :0)

xx

Thanks for the reassurance, I have also had really bad skin :eek:!
Thank You everyone for being so welcoming it is so nice to have somewhere to talk about this without people being judgemental.

I have also spent some time in Canada, been to Banff and Calgary and it was wonderful, I would move their pernamently if I had the choice lol.

Feel really broody at the moment, where do all these pregnant women and babies come from, I feel like I am a magnet when out and about#1

euronorris

Kalama wrote: »

Right - this time I am not so much tiptoeing in so much as stomping in with a fanfare and concrete boots :rotfl:

I promise this time I am going to stick around and actually post. Now the Olympic madness at work has subsided and I have finished my nine months of full time work plus full time study, I can properly concentrate on this whole getting ready for TTC thing.

My and OH are going paleo for 80% of each month - we've worked out that most of the stuff which is not allowed seems to be what triggers our weight gain/upset tums. I've got my hands on the 30 Day Shred dvd - wowser. The dog is demanding many long walks and the weights have been broken out. We are on a mission!

Big wave to everyone and a :T for COMP for being such a wonderful friend (I've been lurking on the TFAB thread...)

Hello again!

We're also following Paleo - loosely at first, but gradually working towards it being 100%. I also just completed the 30 Day Shred.

I've got her 90 Day Body Revolution downloading now too

euronorris

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

Thanks

I'd like to say that anyone else would have done the same, but I'm not entirely sure they would. She's much better now which is good. Although the texts are now coming earlier in the morning (7.30 this morning!) and later in the evening (9.30 last night).

You are a brill friend COMP! And you're right, not everyone would be able to do the same, so extra well done!

Mmmm, the texts. Maybe a polite suggestion that she only texts between certain hours would help, unless it's an absolute emergency? Otherwise, you'll burn out emotionally and won't be able to continue supporting her.

x

BabyMad

Hopelass wrote: »

Well we have got the car - a nice respectable 5 door Mazda and OH has just gone to pick it up so I am going to go and play with all the gadgets/buttons when he comes back :rotfl:

It certainly is exciting AND scary! We did the house thing last year - moved from a city centre flat to a 3 bed semi in the suburbs (god we sound old:D)

Congratulations on the new car Hopelass!!

That's what we are planning with the house - moving from town house out to the suburbs - not sure how i feel about it yet, sometimes excited knowing it's the right thing for the family, getting a bigger house with off street parking etc sometimes apprehensive as I love this house, love being in town and really love the cheap mortgage! We have agreed to wait until after the honeymoon before doing anything serious with the house to give us time to get a bit more cash in the bank etc.

Hello to everyone :wave:

clearing_out_my_pockets

For the benefit of those who don't lurk on the TTC thread, my friend found out last Friday that she had become pregnant as a result of a one night stand. She knew it wasn't her husband's and they have always said they don't want children. The only person she has told is me. And I went with her to the clinic. It is the single hardest thing I've ever had to do, but to me it was more important that she had someone to support her.

euronorris wrote: »

You are a brill friend COMP! And you're right, not everyone would be able to do the same, so extra well done!

Mmmm, the texts. Maybe a polite suggestion that she only texts between certain hours would help, unless it's an absolute emergency? Otherwise, you'll burn out emotionally and won't be able to continue supporting her.

x

It's just this weekend. She's got a family wedding and she's just discovered that the bride is 12 weeks pregnant and she's been a bit hormonal and emotional. I think her texting me is a way of finding a bit of normality. It will pass

trina2010

totally agree COMP you have been a fantastic friend i hope your friend would do the same in return!
it got me thinking as well if i would do the same, i think i would, but it wouldnt make it any less difficult to take.
dont lose heart with TTC though, but then they do say for a lot of people its when they dont try that things happen, fingers crossed for you

browneyedbazzi

Comp - I can only imagine how difficult that must be. Well done for being such a good friend in circumstances that so many people would struggle with/shy away from.

As for me, I had a chat with my partner last night because I saw a job advertised earlier in the week that I'd quite like to go for...it's less money and we would need to move, but it's going back to doing something I really enjoyed and found rewarding (compared to my current job that has very little satisfaction and a bully for a manager). He was a bit unsure of it when I first mentioned it, but last night he came home and said he thinks I should go for it. He's apparently done a bunch of research on the area it is in, what his commute would be and house prices etc and thinks that it's all doable and worth doing if it means I'll be happier in my work

claire16c

browneyedbazzi wrote: »

Hi claire - I've noticed a few things so far, the one that is most shocking to me is that women are not expected to give up alcohol completely during pregnancy here. At home alcohol during pregnancy is very taboo and I wouldn't dream of touching a drop of the stuff and if you're visibly pregnant and ordered a drink at the bar I'd expect you to be challenged by bar staff or other customers about it. Having spent years working with children who had foetal alcohol syndrome and seeing the effects it had on their lives it's not a risk I could ever take.

On the flip side, I think there's less stigma attached to things like pain relief during labour and formula feeding at home than there is here. In this country there seems to be quite a militant group of people who put pressure on women to do without pain relief/medical interventions and to breast feed no matter what. In terms of pain relief, a lot of women at home use tens during labour but I haven't seen that here (indeed I have a tens which I use for another condition and the instructions on it say not to use it during labour).

The other things are quite small..I don't remember hearing the massive lists of things you shouldn't eat back home and I don't know if that's because they think something different or because the foods that are commonly available here are different to what we would have at home (ie you don't get a lot of unpasteurised cheeses there).

thanks for your reply ! Its interesting you mention the alcohol because I remember when I was growing up having the odd - and I mean odd - glass of wine when pregnant seemed normal, but I think over time it is becoming much more badly thought of and I have a feeling the NHS recently reviewed their guidelines on it and remember seeing something on the news?? But I could be wrong about that.

I also used to post on a lot of US based chat boards when I was younger and the topic used to come up a lot, and with people on both sides of the argument, but it was the first place I read about people being really militant about not drinking a drop and why. I have to say it did change my mind when I read some of the stories, and I will not be touching a drop when pregnant. And if I were to see someone drinking I would feel very weird about it.

I have to say though people Im friends with who have been pregnant havent drunk anything. although one mentioned something about guiness being ok which I thought personally just sounded like an old wives tale but who knows.

Ive never heard of people being funny about the pain relief thing, I guess it just perhaps depends on what tv shows you happen to see, your social circle, friends etc etc. Most people I know ask for all the drugs they can get :rotfl: I remember learning about tens machines in my child development GCSE at school and you can buy them in Boots so perhaps you just didnt come across them here before.

I think breast feeding has had a bit of a revival in the past few years, because of more facts coming out about why its better, and perhaps moving on from the convenience of bottle feeding in the 70s/80s etc.

Not sure about the food thing. Ill have to ask my sister what she gets told if she gets pg!:)

Is your partner English or is he Canadian too?

Anyway it doenst sound like anything you would be doing would be badly thought of here!

browneyedbazzi

Hi claire - my partner is english (sucker for the accent! lol)

I watched a programmed called p*ssed and pregnant (or something like that) a few weeks ago and the midwives on there actually told women that it was ok to have a few drinks..and a lot of them had more than a few and thought it was terrible for a woman to have to 'put her life on hold' while pregnant (as though you can't have a 'life' without alcohol!). I was shocked! I have to admit that the women I know have not drank alcohol during pregnancy, but my friends tend to be quite responsible people.

I suspect you're right and the sort of pressures you get exposed to depends a lot on social circles, what you watch etc.

Breastfeeding wise - I don't think anyone would argue that it isn't generally the best thing for babies but I think there are circumstances where switching to/supplementing with formula is the right thing to do. My friend's baby girl was breast feeding constantly, not putting on weight and it was exhausting her making her and the baby cranky...she switched onto formula and the baby has started to put on weight, sleep better and mum feels much better...except that one of the midwives seems to feel a need to guilt trip her about not breastfeeding! As if a new first time mum needs that sort of stress put onto her! Thankfully she's quite a strong willed woman and didn't take it to heart, but I expect a lot of people would.

amyloofoo

browneyedbazzi wrote: »

Hi claire - my partner is english (sucker for the accent! lol)

I watched a programmed called p*ssed and pregnant (or something like that) a few weeks ago and the midwives on there actually told women that it was ok to have a few drinks..and a lot of them had more than a few and thought it was terrible for a woman to have to 'put her life on hold' while pregnant (as though you can't have a 'life' without alcohol!). I was shocked! I have to admit that the women I know have not drank alcohol during pregnancy, but my friends tend to be quite responsible people.

I suspect you're right and the sort of pressures you get exposed to depends a lot on social circles, what you watch etc.

Breastfeeding wise - I don't think anyone would argue that it isn't generally the best thing for babies but I think there are circumstances where switching to/supplementing with formula is the right thing to do. My friend's baby girl was breast feeding constantly, not putting on weight and it was exhausting her making her and the baby cranky...she switched onto formula and the baby has started to put on weight, sleep better and mum feels much better...except that one of the midwives seems to feel a need to guilt trip her about not breastfeeding! As if a new first time mum needs that sort of stress put onto her! Thankfully she's quite a strong willed woman and didn't take it to heart, but I expect a lot of people would.

Hi Bazzi,

We always tell ladies that having a small glass of wine (or equivalent) less than once a week is fine after the first trimester. Ideally nothing at all would be drunk in the first trimester as this is the crucial time for FAS affecting neural development; but many ladies don't know that they're pregnant until they're well into the first trimester anyway so we still see lots of women who've drunk and then get scared that their child will have FAS - fortunately it's rare even for women who've been drinking regularly. I think that, like most other aspects of pregnancy, there are extremists on both sides - I've seen ladies who would decry pregnant women who ate a chocolate that contained a miniscule amount of booze, as well as those who still go boozing and clubbing throughout their pregnancy :eek: Usually the most important thing for mum and baby is to stay happy and relaxed throughout their pregnancy, and if 125ml of wine once a fortnight will help with that, then it's much preferable than being stressed out or anxious for both.

Having said all that I also saw that p!ssed and pregnant programme and was just disgusted by the attitude that some people have. I unfortunately see it quite regularly, but always presumed some of it was bravado / people giving confidences whilst in the pain of labour... seeing someone happily talking about how they enjoy drinking and clubbing whilst pregnant in front of a camera crew (in full knowledge their friends / family and possibly their child would one day see it) was a whole new level of wrong.

I think there's been an increase in the bullying that some women have experienced around breastfeeding and natural births recently. Even in the health service there are people who seem to be completely oblivious to the fact that sometimes it just doesn't work and isn't the best option. Whilst in the majority of cases breast feeding is really beneficial for baby and positive for mum (weight loss, bonding, etc); I've seen a couple of women who've felt pressured to continue even with severe mastitis and it's just miserable for them and for baby. I think people who get on their high horse about 'how things should be done' need to consider the realities of bringing a child into the world and the sheer number of things can end up not going to plan!

P.S. Comp, you are a brilliant friend and a lovely person :grouphug: