Those who are waiting to TTC

RebekahR

euronorris wrote: »

Oh, I'm now having a 'I really want to be trying already day' now. Where did my PMA go? If anyone finds it, please return it to me! lol

Sometimes, I am in agreement with waiting and keeping my sensible hat on. And other days, I feel like we'll never get there, and that even if we do, there'll be another reason to wait.

Same day here! Was June now July ... thats at least another 2-3 cycles as mine are short!

bigmomma051204

dont know if i am allowed to post on here - is it for people who are wanting to try to conceive but arent currently??
If i am posting here and shouldnt be, feel free to remove me!

[FONT=book antiqua,palatino]Hi all. So much to say... introductions i guess would be good! I am 28yrs, married last October and i already have a little boy who is 6years old. He is not the biological son of my OH but he is the only Dad he has ever known. My ex hasn't ever seen him, hasnt seen me since i was about 5 months pregnant when i had to return to live with my parents as he was violent, aggressive and scary! He also got me into ALOT of debt at the time. I am desperate to have another child with my husband. I only have one ovary as had one removed when i was 13yrs and the other has cysts so i always worry i wont have any many years to try as most. My husband had a massive car crash 3 years ago and is only just returning to work as a plasterer (self employed) - i work for local council as family support worker (so around babies all the time which is not helping me at all..redundancy is always looming from one year to the next as with all local councils. I had terrible hyperemesis with my last pregnancy which put me in hospital etc so the idea of having that all again scares the bejesus out of me!! The biggest thing tho, which is so silly.... is my worry about other peoples reaction. Because of the bad situation last time with my ex, my parents have always seen my pregnancy as a bad thing, tho they adore my son!! I am so scared of what they would say if i got pregnant again - i am 28 and married, i KNOW!!!! But an example is... whenever i mention to my mum that i have felt sick (not pregnancy related convo whatsoever!!!) ie that i have felt dicky tummy from sommat dodgy to eat ec, her first response is "oh my god, you arent pregnant are you?!?!" - and the look of panick on her face scares me and saddens me. [/FONT]

[FONT=book antiqua,palatino]Sorry to go on, i am sure most of you will probably think i am just mad and that the situation re work and all the rest should tell me to not even contemplate it...... but i cant help the longing.. i also long for my little boy to enjoy having a sibling, which the older he gets, the more i worry he wont wanna know lol!![/FONT]
[FONT=book antiqua,palatino]My hubby doesnt really realise the extent to which i wanna really have another baby - he is one of those guys who wouldnt ever say "lets try for a baby", he doesnt really think ahead etc... but if i got pregnant, he would be happy enough (at least i hope so LOL!)[/FONT]

[FONT=book antiqua,palatino]Anyway, sorry for the long waffle!! Again, wasnt sure if this was the right place to post.......?? [/FONT]

[FONT=book antiqua,palatino]Laura xx[/FONT]

dreamdreamer

Ooh ooh can I join? I half lurk on the TTC picking up tips but I feel I belong here!

I'm mostly over on the DFW boards as you've probably guessed from my sig. Been with my OH for 3 years, realised 6 months in that we'd really like kids together, but that with my debt there was no way I could afford to be on maternity leave, so I've been hammering away at it and should be debt free in August. Which means we can start TTC... in theory!

Now it's getting closer though I'm getting a bit nervous! I have so many new fears that I hadn't thought about before!

A LOT of my friends have had kids in the last 3 years, I love their kids and they're adorable but when one of the toddlers is having a "I'm not going to stop ALL day and nothing will remain unturned or not hurled at someone!" day I find myself losing patience fairly quickly. I don't know how they do it sometimes! Plus I'm really NOT good with lack of sleep, I'm vile if I'm woken up (I do shift work so this happens frequently!), we have NO family nearby for support (his is 200 miles away, mine 150 in the other direction!) and OH is a clean freak that I'm afraid will be pushed over the edge by a toddler with sticky hands! I hope these are all "normal" fears....

I have PCOS so I think we'll start trying in August because we're expecting it to take a LONG time - I can go 6 months with no periods. I think I'll wind up on clomid. Who wants to bet I'm preggo by Sept now I've said that! :rotfl:

Anyway I've rambled on long enough!

Dreamer xx

[FONT=book antiqua,palatino]Sorry to go on, i am sure most of you will probably think i am just mad and that the situation re work and all the rest should tell me to not even contemplate it...... but i cant help the longing.. i also long for my little boy to enjoy having a sibling, which the older he gets, the more i worry he wont wanna know lol!![/FONT]

One of my closest friends has a 9 yr old and an 18mth old - and there is no separating them! He's her little side kick, follows her everywhere, she dotes on him AND she's old enough to be genuinely helpful and will get him into PJs etc! It's like a sibling and an au pair all rolled into one!

bigzippy

Thanks for the birth stories xani

Bigmomma not one thing you've put makes me think you shouldn't 'even be contemplating it' -it just makes me think that you've obviously given it some thought -which, let's face it, is a good start! Also, don't let how you think people might react put you off something you really want for your life(s). If you feel you need the support of your parents to embark on this journey then how about talking to your mum frankly, explaining (as you do) how her reactions like that make you feel...? I personally think it's got nothing to do with them, but I haven't lived with my parents since I was about 16

euronorris

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

Are you going anywhere nice?

We'll be holidaying in Holland! lol. There is still a lot of this country that we haven't explored, and we have found a nice place that has these small houses dotted around a big lake. So, we're going to rent one of those houses, do some cycling, fishing, relaxing, sit in the hot tub (yes, they have hot tubs) and if the weather is rubbish, I will be on the sunbed too!

Not sure if you can navigate the site, as it is in Dutch, but here it is anyway: http://www.timmerholt.nl/ We plan to stay in a 'landhuis' (plural of that is landhuizen, which you'll see on the site).

euronorris

bigzippy wrote: »

Thanks for the birth stories xani

Bigmomma not one thing you've put makes me think you shouldn't 'even be contemplating it' -it just makes me think that you've obviously given it some thought -which, let's face it, is a good start! Also, don't let how you think people might react put you off something you really want for your life(s). If you feel you need the support of your parents to embark on this journey then how about talking to your mum frankly, explaining (as you do) how her reactions like that make you feel...? I personally think it's got nothing to do with them, but I haven't lived with my parents since I was about 16

I agree with this, and I also appreciate how hard it can be to even bring these things up in conversation! Something I've worked on recently with a therapist.

I found it helped to think through what would happen. So, in your case, you tell your Mum how her comments make you feel, and worst case she may even tell you she thinks it's a bad idea, it's silly etc etc. Then what? Nothing. She can't do anything. You can still go ahead if you want, BUT, you will have at least got those feelings off your chest and let her know how you feel.

Also, please remember that you are not responsible for your Mum's feelings, nor can you control or predict them. Maybe all she needs is some reassurance that things will obviously be different this time around.

Welcome to ALL our newbies!

I had a chat with OH last night about wanting a bubba, and how I was feeling down about it and why etc. It was nice to share it with him, and also good for us to communicate better with each other. We talked through different scenarios in respect of his job, and how we'd deal with them, and it turns out he was all set to return to the UK if his work wouldn't give him a local contract here, and I don't really wanna head back to the UK (for various reasons). Glad we spoke about it as the only reason he was thinking of that is because he thought I would be happier being home! lol

That doesn't mean it isn't an option, as his contract here ends in 18 months, so if he still hasn't got a local contract then, he will return to work in the UK (on the same salary) and can support us both (and a baby) as all debt will be cleared by then, so suggested it would be a perfect time to have a baby then. But, I've insisted on Marriage in that case, otherwise we have to jump through a tonne of legal paperwork to cover ourselves and the children (whereas here we can do a Partnership contract). He's fine with that, so long as it's a small registry thing. Bless him, hates being centre of attention.

So there you go peeps. It's good to talk!

xx

clearing_out_my_pockets

euronorris wrote: »

But, I've insisted on Marriage in that case, otherwise we have to jump through a tonne of legal paperwork to cover ourselves and the children (whereas here we can do a Partnership contract). He's fine with that, so long as it's a small registry thing. Bless him, hates being centre of attention.

Does this make you technically engaged?

QQuaver

**confuzzled** wrote: »

I understand about wanting your own:) How about surrogacy??

I don't want a baby that much!:p

Oooooo good luck with the 1st round:) whens your 2ww gonna be???

Arr... I'm 13DPO...

euronorris

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

Does this make you technically engaged?

Haha, not quite! It will only be if we return to the UK, and he was still concerned that everyone else would give us grief over having a small wedding, to which I replied: Firstly, who cares? It's not their wedding or marriage, so it doesn't matter what they think/want/say. Secondly, I've already told them that we aren't getting married, and will be entering into a partnership contract, and my parents response was 'well, just let us know when so we can come over and have nice celebratory evening with you.'. :rotfl::rotfl:

He thinks people are far more interested in our lives than they actually are! lol

euronorris

QQuaver wrote: »

I don't want a baby that much!:p

Arr... I'm 13DPO...

And your temp has shot back up today.

Keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you! Which, by the way, makes it difficult for me to type and walk! :rotfl: