Those who are waiting to TTC

pinkpuppy

Euro - you should definitely do a test, better safe than sorry. I'm sorry you and your OH are still not in 100% agreement about everything. I know how you feel, I've been there - although I never had an exact date it was always - "we will, don't worry". Even now we've agreed on a date it still feels a bit like I am the one who has brought it about, but he wouldn't have agreed if he didn't want to - he's not that sort of person.

Clearing out - what's happened??

emsbet

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

I may have to move my own 'trying from' date on the first page

Oh no! How come?

((hugs))

xx

clearing_out_my_pockets

DH denies ever having had a conversation about when we'd start trying. He now wants to wait until next July AT LEAST

emsbet

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

DH denies ever having had a conversation about when we'd start trying. He now wants to wait until next July AT LEAST

Oh I'm really sorry. Is he not prepared to compromise on the date?

xx

euronorris

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

DH denies ever having had a conversation about when we'd start trying. He now wants to wait until next July AT LEAST

OH tried that with me too, so I told him of all the conversations I could specifically remember (including an in depth one a couple of months ago) and asked him what he thought we were talking about. His response was 'I didn't realise we were setting anything in stone.'. So, maybe your OH is feeling the same and is just a little scared by the reality of it.

I also learnt that he wants to do it all 'naturally'. ie, no 'we have to BD now' pressure etc (which I already suspected), and was fearful that is what would happen (because I want children so much).

Why does he want to wait until July?

I know how you're feeling right now honey. It sucks. Did you have a good, open and honest convo about it yet? It's hard, and my OH tried to avoid it at times, but it certainly helped. As does recognising when taking a break from the convo is best, to give him time to think things over.

Magicboo

aw-big hugs COMP. Keep positive xxx

clearing_out_my_pockets

euronorris wrote: »

Why does he want to wait until July?

Your guess is as good as mine

euronorris wrote: »

Did you have a good, open and honest convo about it yet? It's hard, and my OH tried to avoid it at times, but it certainly helped. As does recognising when taking a break from the convo is best, to give him time to think things over.

It's difficult to get him to talk at the moment. His dad has been in and out of hospital over the last couple of weeks so he's using that as an excuse. That sounds really callous but every time FIL has been discharged, I've offered to drive DH over to see him. He hasn't been over once, but is using the worry to avoid talking about children.

Every time I try mentioning it (even in passing) he says "I'm not going to argue with you - I've said all I have to say on the subject". Then he wonders why I get so upset at him. :mad:

euronorris

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

Your guess is as good as mine

It's difficult to get him to talk at the moment. His dad has been in and out of hospital over the last couple of weeks so he's using that as an excuse. That sounds really callous but every time FIL has been discharged, I've offered to drive DH over to see him. He hasn't been over once, but is using the worry to avoid talking about children.

Every time I try mentioning it (even in passing) he says "I'm not going to argue with you - I've said all I have to say on the subject". Then he wonders why I get so upset at him. :mad:

It could be that he's not coping well with his father's illness, and avoiding him is a way of dealing with that. When he's refused the offer of a lift over there, what were his reasons? If they're weak, I'd be very tempted to confront him on that one and simply say 'well, you keep telling me you're worried, but you won't visit him either. What's going on?'.

I think the what's going on question might be better than accusing him of anything, as it gives him chance to explain things without feeling attacked IYSWIM.

Either way, it's not an excuse to not talk about it. It may play a part in wanting to do it later, but it's no excuse not to talk about it. After all, he may have said all he has to say on the subject, but you haven't.

clearing_out_my_pockets

I just don't know how many times I can keep having the same 'conversation' with him. I wish I knew what the issue is. At least with your OH you have rationale behind it. DH is giving me nothing.

euronorris

How about writing a letter, stating just that. 'This is an important issue, and I understand that you don't want to start now, but I don't know why. I don't want to argue about it either, but I do need you to help me understand your decision better. Right now, all I know is that you don't want to, but we have the house, we got married, we have x, y & z, so I thought that this would be the perfect time. Can we please talk about this on XX night so that I can understand?' and see how that goes down?