📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

Those who are waiting to TTC

1109110112114115300

Comments

  • Don't worry about typing out my username - Call me COMP
    (Unless you know my real name - in which case, feel free to use that just to confuse people!)
  • RebekahR
    RebekahR Posts: 5,987 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Sounds like he is doing the same a hubby did to me. I was good that I gave him a year post wedding as I knew he wanted to settle and enjoy married sex?! before we changed to baby making sex lol. So September it was then he put it back to !!!!!!!g June then July this year. At least I knew it was only 1 month later so went with it. But I told him like it or lump it we are not changing again lol. Once he set the date too every now and then I kept reminding him of it, Only xyz til we start trying etc. So he couldn't forget what he said! And to half get him used to it that I meant business!
  • emsbet
    emsbet Posts: 5,237 Forumite
    euronorris wrote: »
    How about writing a letter, stating just that. 'This is an important issue, and I understand that you don't want to start now, but I don't know why. I don't want to argue about it either, but I do need you to help me understand your decision better. Right now, all I know is that you don't want to, but we have the house, we got married, we have x, y & z, so I thought that this would be the perfect time. Can we please talk about this on XX night so that I can understand?' and see how that goes down?

    ^^ this is a good idea maybe try this. It's not fair of him to not give you good solid reasons.

    xx
    :A 09.06.11:A 07.10.11:A
    Gorgeous baby boy born 16.09.12 :happylove

    :kisses2:The world moves for love. It kneels before it in awe :kisses2:

    Patience is a virtue I lack! :p
  • RebekahR
    RebekahR Posts: 5,987 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Ha! I wrote my hubby a letter and asked him to write back as I thought he was too embarrassed to talk f2f. He read it put it in the bottom draw and that was it! No reply and he didn't even mention it. Was a waste of pen, paper and tears!
  • euronorris
    euronorris Posts: 12,247 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper PPI Party Pooper
    Ahhh, it's a lovely pic. I think he wants it sweetie, but something is stopping him at the moment. In the midst of our discussion, OH pointed out that we could possibly end up adopting any kid his brother has, if his brother doesn't get his sh't together (for want of a better expression). That was news to me. Not that I object, but it did make laugh that he expected me to just go along with it without talking to me.

    Despite what men say, I believe they are just as cryptic as women are, sometimes more so. OH frequently tells me about a decision he's made and expects me to know the thought process behind it! Cos you know, I'm pyschic! HA! It can be like getting blood from a stone sometimes, trying to get him to open up.

    Do you have some good female colleagues who can offer you a hug, sympathetic ear and some chocolate? It works wonders!

    xx
    February wins: Theatre tickets
  • Gopppers
    Gopppers Posts: 610 Forumite
    Hugs COMP

    Im sure you will get to the bottom of your DH's thoughts and feeling and you get it sorted soonxx
    Sealed Pot Challenge Member #881 :D
  • euronorris wrote: »
    Do you have some good female colleagues who can offer you a hug, sympathetic ear and some chocolate? It works wonders!

    Oh I wish - the nearest 20 desks to mine are men. My closest female colleague left in February to go on maternity leave and the girl who sits opposite me has gone on a six month sabbatical to get married.

    On top of that, my best friend doesn't want kids (at all) so wouldn't understand how important this is to me. My other close friend has been waiting since 2007 to TTC.

    I may try the letter thing, although I suspect he'll ignore it.

    :eek: to the brother's kid thing! Why don't men communicate better???
    Don't worry about typing out my username - Call me COMP
    (Unless you know my real name - in which case, feel free to use that just to confuse people!)
  • Magicboo
    Magicboo Posts: 803 Forumite
    should we change the name of the thread to "Those who are waiting to TTC, those who want to TTC (and those who want to but are really scared to TTC!)?"
    I mean it half tongue in cheek, but maybe it would take the pressure off a bit?
    In all honesty, I think most men out there are scared of the thought of TTC, I've already decided I'm not going to tell DH when the "important" BD are occouring, he'd hate the pressure. We have also had many discussions about when to TTC-at great length!-and if I said I wanted to wait longer, I'm sure he'd jump at the idea, but as we're both getting on a bit (both 34), he knows we can't hang around long (especially as we want more than 1). TBH, if it wasn't for that, I think he'd be the same as your men, Euro & COMP.
    I think I'm just trying to say that whilst us women have been preparing for most of our lives for this and grown up knowing it will happen, most men (not all) haven't so the thought of it, the change of lifestyle, the losing of their wife/girlfriend all to themselves etc etc..make it pretty hard for them to ever say yep, now's the time, I'm 100% sure.
    Don't give up on them, or the idea of having children, but definately keep talking xx
  • euronorris
    euronorris Posts: 12,247 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper PPI Party Pooper
    Oh I wish - the nearest 20 desks to mine are men. My closest female colleague left in February to go on maternity leave and the girl who sits opposite me has gone on a six month sabbatical to get married.

    On top of that, my best friend doesn't want kids (at all) so wouldn't understand how important this is to me. My other close friend has been waiting since 2007 to TTC.

    I may try the letter thing, although I suspect he'll ignore it.

    :eek: to the brother's kid thing! Why don't men communicate better???

    Right, that settles it! You and OH are moving to Holland. You can tell him you don't want to argue about it, you've said all you have to say so he better start packing! ;)

    You can but try my dear. At least you'll know that you've done your best then.

    Oh yes, we're also going to try for number two as soon as number one is born, apparantly! :eek::eek: That ain't happening!

    Although, I did find out that he would happily try for a 3rd if the first two are both boys, or both girls. Which was a surprise.

    It's good to talk, but men can't always see it. I think they feel too vulnerable, and they see that as a weakness.
    February wins: Theatre tickets
  • Don't tempt me :rotfl:

    And if baby number 3 is the same gender as #1 and #2???
    Don't worry about typing out my username - Call me COMP
    (Unless you know my real name - in which case, feel free to use that just to confuse people!)
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 351.3K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253.2K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 453.8K Spending & Discounts
  • 244.3K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 599.5K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 177.1K Life & Family
  • 257.8K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.6K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.