Those who are waiting to TTC

QQuaver

Just got up to speed euro:grouphug:

I don't know your OH, but from my experience, OH/DHs swing from wanting a baby to not wanting a baby regularly. Don't be surprised if he changes his mind after looking at a friend's baby or some film with a baby in it. Keep positive, stop talking about a baby for a month and see how it goes:o

Rebekah, you've only just started TTC (((hugs))).
Have a choccie:EasterBun

pinkpuppy

Hello

Just discovered this thread and would like to join in if that's ok. I am 33 and my OH is 39 and we have just agreed to start TTC at the end of August. Neither of us have any children already...

I am very excited but also quite nervous because I'm worrying about the what ifs... I know that's daft but I can't help myself.

Don't really know what else to write here at the moment so I will keep popping in and keep up to date.

QQuaver

Hi and welcome pinkpuppy:wave:
Have you started taking folic acid yet?

euronorris

QQuaver wrote: »

Just got up to speed euro:grouphug:

I don't know your OH, but from my experience, OH/DHs swing from wanting a baby to not wanting a baby regularly. Don't be surprised if he changes his mind after looking at a friend's baby or some film with a baby in it. Keep positive, stop talking about a baby for a month and see how it goes:o

Rebekah, you've only just started TTC (((hugs))).
Have a choccie:EasterBun

Thanks QQ, but I don't think that would make any difference in this case. He does want them, but he wants perfect conditions for them (which I understand), but this involves us being reliant upon a decision made by his work.

I am not comfortable with that. He said last night that he felt like he was being forced into it. Trouble is, that's how I feel about the current situation. It isn't what I want, but I don't have a say in the matter at all right now.

I can't live like that. I need a definite timescale. One that isn't going to be put off again, so we will have to talk again tonight and see what happens.

Magicboo

euronorris wrote: »

I can't live like that. I need a definite timescale. One that isn't going to be put off again, so we will have to talk again tonight and see what happens.

Good luck Euro, we'll all be rooting for you xxxx
(must...not...make...dodgy...jokes..about...rooting...):silenced:

bigzippy

Euro - you're in my thoughts dude. I had things to say, when I was reading through your posts, but I'm damned if I can remember what they were now. Feel free to PM me. I hope you get the answers you obviously need soon.

Just a thought - is there anyway that he could go for a secure job in another company? It sounds like where he is isn't that stable anyway...? Is there anything else he would feel would give you the security? Is there any way to do a budget to show predicted costs (it costs less than most people think if you make certain choices like cloth nappies, breast feeding and make your own baby food etc) to make him feel less worried about the finances?

pinkpuppy

Hello

No, I haven't started taking anything yet? Should I - even though there's still about 6 weeks until we start trying??

I haven't read all the posts in this thread but have had a look through the last few pages, euronorris - I feel for you. I know what all that waiting is like, I've been ready to start trying for ages but my OH has wanted the situation to be 'perfect' before it all happens. We are in the process of buying a flat at the moment so that's been something he wanted to get out of the way.

I pointed out that it takes 9 months to actually have a baby and that's presuming you fell pregnant the very first time you tried - which is highly unlikely. I said that if it takes us say, 6 months to get pregnant and then another 9 months after that - it wasn't as if there would be a baby in the house next week. I think he got it then. Men just don't think about these things in the same way AT ALL.

That probably doesn't help much but I hope you're ok.

bigzippy

pinkpuppy wrote: »

No, I haven't started taking anything yet? Should I - even though there's still about 6 weeks until we start trying??

Yep. Folic acid. It's vital to the development of a baby's healthy brain stem and they recommend you start taking it at least 3 months before pregnancy, or as soon as you find out that you are pregnant (the neural tubes start to develop in the first few weeks so you may not have even found out you're pg by then, iyswim). There are recommendations that all women of child bearing age should take it, as the benefits can be so great, so it's never too early

You may want to start charting your cycle(s) too, in preparation, but that's a personal choice

Magicboo

bigzippy wrote: »

Just a thought - is there anyway that he could go for a secure job in another company? It sounds like where he is isn't that stable anyway...? Is there anything else he would feel would give you the security? Is there any way to do a budget to show predicted costs (it costs less than most people think if you make certain choices like cloth nappies, breast feeding and make your own baby food etc) to make him feel less worried about the finances?

I wondered if he could look at other jobs too? Or is it not as easy and clear cut as that? Did you talk last night Euro, or are you leaving it for a couple of days? Have you told him how he is forcing you into HIS decision just as he probably feels like he would be forced into YOUR decision so actually a happy compromise could be maybe not a date to start TTC, but maybe a date (in the not too distant future-maybe before the end of the year?) when you agree to look at the situations and your options again?
I wish I was pregnant now so I could leave my job. I'm having "issues" with my boss who thinks everyone should think working is the most important thing in thier life-he fails to comprehend that, whilst he's a Director with great career prospects who gets HUGE bonuses when the company does well, the majority of us are working without those prospects (our company is so old fashioned that girls don't get a look in in career progression, even if we wanted to!) and actually work because we HAVE to, not for the love of it!! Luckily DH said the perfect thing to make me feel better...he said this will most likely be the last harvest (I work in agriculture) I work full time for the company. What a gem he is :A
Enjoy the rain everyone xx
PS-pink puppy: folic acid! 2 for 3 bottles at Sainsburys at the mo! x

euronorris

Hi All,

We talked, and talked, and yelled a bit, and talked, and cried a bit, and talked and then retreated to our corners for a couple hours.

Basically, he isn't prepared to do it until the job is secure and the house is bought and I understand his reasons. I'm not prepared to give up on us, or our future family yet, so I'm going to show some patience and see how things are in 2 years time (hopefully the house is bought, and we're at least trying).

As for a new job, I did suggest that. And, as it turns out, I actually think he would be a lot happier in a different, more secure job. However, he has been with the company since he left college (about 14 years now) and worked his way up, so he's very reluctant to leave when he feels so close to securing the job he wants with them. If, however, there is this announcement made and he is not given a permanent job then, then he will definitely leave.

Thanks pinkpuppy, but he won't even start looking at places to buy until his job has been secured. So, it doesn't matter how long it could take us to fall pregnant etc, he's worried it would happen straight away and could end up being 8 months gone and having to move house etc. See, his fears are legitimite. He does seem to genuinely believe that we will fall pregnant the first month though! I keep explaining that one to him, and telling him he needs to stop saying things like that as it puts so much pressure on me, but it seems to go in one ear and out the other.

I have a question though ladies. I have pain on the right lower hand side of my abdomen. It's what I would usually think of as ovulation pain, but it's been there (on and off) since Wednesday last week. Is it normal for ov pain to last that long? I've also had a strange taste in my mouth since about 7th July. I can't describe it (it doesn't taste like anything else I can think of), but it's there constantly. I'm tired constantly, despite sleep (but could the cold). And I've been quite hormonal (for instance, I felt like I was slowly going mad on Thursday, Friday and Saturday, but gradually started feeling better yesterday). My period was lighter and shorter than usual, and I'm wondering about the possibility of ecoptic pregnancy. Is that mad, or should I do a test just to be safe?

To be clear, if it wasn't for the IUD I wouldn't even be asking this, but I know there is always a chance with the IUD.

Thanks ladies xxx