Those who are waiting to TTC

clearing_out_my_pockets

Right...

When you said you were going to try in Jan 2012, was that purely a finance thing? Have you discussed it with OH? I mean the Jan 2012 date, I realise you haven't discussed your current feelings.

If you're sure that this isn't just a knee jerk reaction to seeing lots of bumps at the moment, I'd say have an honest chat with OH.

euronorris

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

Right...

When you said you were going to try in Jan 2012, was that purely a finance thing? Have you discussed it with OH? I mean the Jan 2012 date, I realise you haven't discussed your current feelings.

If you're sure that this isn't just a knee jerk reaction to seeing lots of bumps at the moment, I'd say have an honest chat with OH.

It was originally a finance thing, which we both agreed on (but I'm really not sure I'll reach that target now anyway), but now there is the added aspect of him trying to get a local contract sorted.

We've been holding off from getting a mortgage (and therefore, a bigger, more suitable property), because we want OH to have a permanent, local contract first. But......his work have been talking and promising this contract for the last 2 years and it still hasn't materlialised. He believes that this is because he wants them to match his current salary (he is still, officially, on secondment from the UK office) and the powers that be deem it too high a salary. So, he is of the firm belief that if he was willing to accept less, they would sort out the local contract.

This isn't just a reaction to seeing baby bumps everywhere (thought it doesn't help!), as I have been wanting this for years, and for the last 18 months, have literally been waiting on finances and living arrangements to be sorted out. But I'm now feeling like I just can't wait any longer to get started, and there would still be time to sort out finances and living arrangements even if I fell pregnant tomorrow.

H'll, even if his work refused a permanent contract, it wouldn't be the end of the world. He had an interesting job offer, in Utrecht, just last week. And we could always return to the UK if needs be.

We did discuss this about 2 months ago, and he said he would go into work then and put some pressure on them to sort it, you know, at least make a definite decision one way or the other. But, I told him not to as it would be better to have the higher salary etc. I regret that now, so I want to talk to him about it again.

Having said all that, I am still a little concerned that I'm letting my heart rule my head too much.

I don't know, would it really be a complete disaster, financially, if we fell pregnant now?

euronorris

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

We've been quiet recently!!!

So it's CD12 here and the b1tch just won't leave! This is why I hate the implant.... Been doing a lot of number crunching lately and only today remembered that parents can 'share' maternity leave between them. This helps massively as if I take the full 39 weeks maternity leave, we're left with a £500 monthly shortfall once we've cut back to the essential bills which we're currently saving for. Coincidentally I earn £500 a month more than OH so if I go back to work earlier, things are easier financially and it also gives OH a chance to bond with our non-existant LO.

CD12!!! Crikey, I understand your frustration.

Mine left, then came back for two days of spotting and now I have EWCM and (what feels like) ov pain on CD8. Confused.com!

Great news about sharing maternity leave. Don't think I can do that here, but I think it's law for companies to offer it in Sweden (or maybe Switzerland, I forget which). Would be great for your OH to have a chance to bond with LO like that too.

clearing_out_my_pockets

euronorris wrote: »

This isn't just a reaction to seeing baby bumps everywhere (thought it doesn't help!), as I have been wanting this for years

I suspected that'd be your answer - didn't mean to sound quite so dismissive

euronorris wrote: »

I don't know, would it really be a complete disaster, financially, if we fell pregnant now?

To put things into perspective, my brother and his OH found out at the age of 20 that they were expecting. Complete shock - he was in a low paid job with no promotion prospects and she was a part time sales assistant. They had no savings. At all. Now 6 years down the line my nephew is a great, well adjusted boy. OK so his parents couldn't afford the latest gadgets etc, but he was (and still is) well loved. As is his (planned this time ) little sister.

If you wait for financial security, you'll be waiting a long time. I don't mean that as an insult to your financial position, just that there will always be a reason to wait a little longer.

I know how you feel. I've been in tears at OH for the last week. I don't want to wait any longer either. For us, we've been waiting for a long anticipated promotion which STILL hasn't materialised. There will come a point where I think "just go for it"

clearing_out_my_pockets

CD12 is nothing - she's stuck around until CD20 before :eek:

Magicboo

Hi Everyone!!
I am and always have been firmly in the "there's never a perfect time" camp. I am trying to be sensible and am saving money at the moment and know that waiting until after our New Zealand make sense so a)I can drink and b)if I have any problems, I'm not the other side of the world. BUT if it happened now, we'd deal with it. What other options do you have-if it's already happened?!
All the people out there (like your bro COMP) who find themselves unexpectedly pregnant manage to cope, so I'm sure we could all manage if it happened sooner than expected!
Even if we ended up having to sell our house and downsize, we would still be coping with it!
Does any of that make sense?! :rotfl:

euronorris

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

I suspected that'd be your answer - didn't mean to sound quite so dismissive

It's OK. I didn't take it that way. The pysch asked the same question, as well as asking me why I wanted a child so badly (she wanted to ensure that I wasn't trying to replace or compensate for something else).

To put things into perspective, my brother and his OH found out at the age of 20 that they were expecting. Complete shock - he was in a low paid job with no promotion prospects and she was a part time sales assistant. They had no savings. At all. Now 6 years down the line my nephew is a great, well adjusted boy. OK so his parents couldn't afford the latest gadgets etc, but he was (and still is) well loved. As is his (planned this time ) little sister.

If you wait for financial security, you'll be waiting a long time. I don't mean that as an insult to your financial position, just that there will always be a reason to wait a little longer.

I know how you feel. I've been in tears at OH for the last week. I don't want to wait any longer either. For us, we've been waiting for a long anticipated promotion which STILL hasn't materialised. There will come a point where I think "just go for it"

This is how I'm feeling now. He could get the local contract today, we find a nice house and clear the debt, but then we'd want to have a nice holiday, or decorate the house just how we like it etc etc. I feel that there will always be another reason to delay it, unless we make it a priority.

Magicboo - Yes, you made sense. I do feel that, whatever happens, we'd cope. We have a good support network with my family, and some great friends, and we're no longer new to this country either. We have a much better understanding now, of how things work here.

CD20! WOW! Just, wow! I think I'm going to have to go and make you a medal for that! Is that normal for the implant?

emsbet

Euro

I think if you and your OH are both in agreement that you want to have a baby then you should go for it!
Like COMP said having a baby at any time is a financial strain but many people make it work. There are the essentials that you need for a baby but the rest of it is not. There are many things that people like to by but that you don't necessarily need. I know some people think that they want to wait so that the child doesn't have to "go without" but like you said even if you got pg tomorrow you still have 8/9 months to save etc and if you can't afford certain non-essentials the baby's not going to know or care! All it will want is love and attention (and feeding of course! ). It's only when they get older that they will start feeling like they are missing out.

xx

clearing_out_my_pockets

euronorris wrote: »

CD20! WOW! Just, wow! I think I'm going to have to go and make you a medal for that! Is that normal for the implant?

From what I gather, people react one of two ways - constant spotting or no AF at all. I alternate between the two I was briefly on iron tablets, it was so bad. On the CD20 cycle, she left then came back a week or so later.

euronorris

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

From what I gather, people react one of two ways - constant spotting or no AF at all. I alternate between the two I was briefly on iron tablets, it was so bad. On the CD20 cycle, she left then came back a week or so later.

Oh man, that sucks! I assume you get no warning of when she'll show up either, right? Bummer!

Emsbet - thank you sweetie