Husband has "thrown me out" and has children

puddy

she may not be real, she may not be who she says she is, but many teachers i have worked with cannot spell or use correct grammar for the life of them, and in the rush of writing on a forum neither do i and many others

make_me_wise

confusedmumx wrote: »

My husband also offered to buy out my share of the equity in our property immediately for cash (about £150K) and to round this up to £200K to cover our shared interest in posessions, furniture etc. he also stated that he had no interest in any of my "personal" savings or investments - our only joint financial products are our mortgage and a current account.

Please can someone tell me what my rights are - can I legally get my dd's back immediately?, or will I have to pursue a court order? - what is the likelihood that I would get custody if this did go to court?

Good grief your husband doesn't do things by halves does he. To be completely honest I cant quite work you out. I'm not sure whether you are in shock but you almost seem calm and resigned to all this through your post.

If the passports are such a big deal with your husband why doesn't he just make sure they have been cancelled? Also agree with the poster who suggested that for the sake of keeping the peace lodge you passport with a trusted third party. This then eleviates his maybe somewhat irrational fears of you doing a bunk with the kids.

Did you see any of this coming; the changing of the locks, buying you out of the house, access to your kids only on his terms. It seems such a drastic way to behave.

As he wants to buy you out of your share of the house I am assuming you jointly own it. In which case by law he shouldn't be blocking you from entering the property. You have as much right to be there as he does.

If someone was trying to railroad me as he is with you I wouldn't hesitate in contacting a solicitor. They are the only ones who can sort this out and enable you to know and have your rights met.

How are your children coping with all of this? It must be very upsetting and traumatic for them. Bets of luck OP.

make_me_wise

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Intelligence and common sense do not necessarily go hand in hand.

Especially in a stressful situation.

Never a truer phrase said.

Jake'sGran

pearl123 wrote: »

If we have heard the full story re passports. Then I would question whether your husband was completely mentally well. He has acted, as I said earlier very aggressively. If you were living together prior to him changing the locks -you can go home stay in spare room etc.

Confusedmumex -You do come across to me, as rather resigned to your lot ?

This is what occurred to me.

The husband's actions seem so extreme and calculating. Why didn't he believe that it really was just the bag containing the passports that was stolen from the car? I have read all the posts so far and have kept saying to myself "there is something else". If he has always been with the children for the main part of each day it sounds like he has become obsessed with this role and is terrified of something happening to change it. I do get the impression that any closeness the parents had must have disappeared a long time ago. It is very sad but I doubt this couple can be reconciled. It's especially sad for the children.

make_me_wise

Jake'sGran wrote: »

I have read all the posts so far and have kept saying to myself "there is something else".

That has been my gut reaction right the way through this thread too. The husbands reaction to the passports missing seems so extreme.

In a happy, healthy relationship you would be annoyed at something having been stolen but wouldn't automatically assume your partner was planning to disappear with your kids. You would just phone up, cancel the missing documents and order new ones.

Flyboy152

puddy wrote: »

i agree its not ok, but the advice (before finding that dad was main carer) from some on here and its not the first time ive seen it on these boards, was grab the kids from him. by doing that and making assumptions that one or other of the parents 'takes hold' of the kids, the person is setting conditions (not just about access)

and im sure you know that 'main caring' is not black and white, in many households both do the same amount of care, especially where both parents work for example so its not simply a case of the children staying with the 'main carer'

Apart from the post that were suggesting she snatch them from school, of course.

Flyboy152

DevilsAdvocate1 wrote: »

As it happens, the passports for 2 of my children (plus mine) are in the car right now and have been for at least a month. I needed photo copies of the main page for their bus passes. Mine is there because I have to do a CRB and the company want me to send a copy of the passport details to them. I'm not the most organised of people and haven't got round to bringing them in. Will do it now

So I think it is plausible especially when you read the reasons given.

But are you having difficulties in your relationship with your children's father?

I think her husband is hoping she doesn't know the law and is trying to get himself into the most favourable position possible. While what he has done is wrong, he knows he is unlikely to get more than a slap on the wrist for it. It also puts him in a stronger position regarding the family home and children.

D.

What is the law then?

Flyboy152

whatyadoinsucka wrote: »

i love the way 'DD' is used instead of 'Children'
(i'm guessin "direct descendent"), i would never call any kid a DD

Indeed, it is a term which grinds at me as well, how difficult is it to type "daughter?"

Flyboy152

patchwork_cat wrote: »

.

DD is forumese for darling daughter

As cringe-worthy as it is.

Flyboy152

pearl123 wrote: »

Of course she can do wrong peachyprice. Just stating my opinion. I do of course presume that she would be holding such a responsible position because she is damm good at her job. She is afterall responsible for alot of children.

There are a great many headteachers, who have been declared mentally unfit to carry on their duties.