Husband has "thrown me out" and has children

confusedmumx

Hi,
I hope people will be able to offer me some advice, - I've been using this site for a long time, but this is the first time I've posted!
Things haven't been going well between me and my husband for some time - it's been no-ones fault, we just seem to have grown apart since our youngest dd was born 3 years ago. Yesterday lunchtime my husband phoned me at work to tell me that he wanted me to leave our home - he has had the locks changed, and asked me to email him a list of clothes/posessions I required which he would pack up and send in a taxi to my parents house.
In the evening we had a longer phone conversation, during which he told me that he wanted custody of our three dd's (3, 6, 7 years old). He told me I could have unlimited access until we had obtained a formal court order, but that he would only allow this if it was supervised by an independent person, and took place on secure, neutral territory. My husband also offered to buy out my share of the equity in our property immediately for cash (about £150K) and to round this up to £200K to cover our shared interest in posessions, furniture etc. he also stated that he had no interest in any of my "personal" savings or investments - our only joint financial products are our mortgage and a current account.
Please can someone tell me what my rights are - can I legally get my dd's back immediately?, or will I have to pursue a court order? - what is the likelihood that I would get custody if this did go to court?

patchwork_cat

He can't change the locks that is a no no. You need legal advice, go and get some.

mummyplus3

You need legal advice NOW is there any reason he's kept the girls? because of you are a fit parent I would be going and picking up the kids from school/nursery straight away. He doesn't get to dictate who gets custody of the children that is a joint decision.

epsilondraconis

Can you think of a reason why all of a sudden he has taken this action?

It appears there may be something else happening that you didn't include in your post.

I agree that you need legal advice.

Perhaps take a look at the Relate website for some more information.

http://www.relate.org.uk/home/index.html

Good luck.

cte1111

If the house is in joint names, then you have a legal right to enter the property.

Is there any reason why he would think he can take control like this? If I were you I would be picking the children up straight away. It's outrageous for him to try and set conditions like this.

Sublime_2

I am astonished. Please seek legal advice now. Its not a normal occurence, and he has no right to do so. Try your CAB also.

Sorry, you must be feeling awful at the minute, good luck :grouphug: xx

podperson

He has no legal right to keep you out of the property if it is in joint names and no legal right to decide who has custody of the children. If you went and picked up them up and kept them with you there would be nothing he could do about it until the matter went to court. Sounds like he is being very calculating about this so would agree with above posters about getting some legal advice as soon as possible.

jetta_wales

Sounds like there's likely some pretty big mitigating circumstances that haven't be mentioned here to be honest.

confusedmumx

epsilondraconis wrote: »

Can you think of a reason why all of a sudden he has taken this action?
It appears there may be something else happening that you didn't include in your post.

Yes, there is some info I forgot to include in my post - a couple of weeks ago my car was broken into and (amongst other things) all 3 dd's passports were stolen. My husband says that he thinks this is suspicious, and fears I still have the passports and am planning on leaving the country with the children, he says that this is why he doesn't want me to have unrestricted access to the children, and that if I don't agree he is confident of obtaining an interim decision from a court in his favour.

Caroline_a

Was there any particular reason your children's passports were in your car and not in a safe place?

brians_daughter

solicitors emergency app TODAY. We can all summise what may or may not happen but in this situ where you are seperated from your 3 children and have been made homeless you NEED REAL ADVICE FROM SOMEONE WHO IS ABLE TO GIVE IT.

However, what other posters have said he cant keep you out the family home and cant keep the children from you.

I assume you reported the incident to the police and your insurance (as far as i am aware youa re obliged to inform ins co even if you do not claim - but i will be corrected if this isnt the case, dunno if its just accidents?) If you have reported them missing then i cant see the issue. He cannot dictate when you can/cant see your children. It is not for me to comment - but i do find it strange you would keep such important docs in your car, unless you needed them to prove identity etc, but surely your oh was aware of this situ anyway?

If this was my situation i would be collecting the children from school a little early and informing school why, i am sure the children will need addittional support through this difficult time and school will eb able to help provide that.

We will all suppor you here, but PLEASE go get a solicitor NOW, When you call make it crystal clear you cannot gain entrance to your home and have been seperated from your children. You should get an emergency appointment asap
Good luck x x