MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Would you lend to a friend in need?

fififofum

never a lender or a borrower be :money:

thats in an ideal world of course.

when i was at school (aged 14) i lent a very small amount over a period of months to a friend we will call P.

it took forever to get the money back despite the assurances it was not a handout it was a loan, i got "oh im short this week" can you lend me some more etc! :eek:

still £10k is a lot, so is losing your house, but i'm afraid no lightbuld moment = no ££!! Is the person who owes the money doing everything they can (2 jobs, not going out, etc etc??) or more is the case are they finally in the position where no-one (banks etc) will lend anymore and there is no way out.

if they showed willing i would loan them half and want the money back with a written agreement to show when and how often they were going to pay it back.

Jackiec09

Lending the money could test your friendship to the limits and it might never recover. This advice comes from one who knows. I lent a friend £200.00 and she was supposed to pay it back at £20.00 per week. There was a diffrent excuse every week. It was about 6-8 months later she handed over £40.00. Now she has stopped speaking to me and bad mouthing me to the neighbours (she lives straight across the road from me). The money was never that big an issue but the way she treated out friendship was.

I look at it this way, it cost me £160.00 to find out what kind of friend she is and I know know i'm better off without her. I'd never lend money again.

To all you moneysavers out there, have a verry Merry Xmas and a not so drunken New Year. All the best for 2007

Regards Jackie :snow_laug

lizbee

No No No, I lent a few thousands to Family and never got it back. It was his mortgage that he could not pay The hassle trying to get the money back was horrendous!
Before all this I would have said 100% I could trust him. Never lend to family and friends give it if you can afford it.

frenchstudmuffin

As much as I am a compassionate person, really she has to go. Kick her out ! It has already been pointed out that the threat of eviction "might" galvanise the council into action.

You can do that in England, but here in France, you cannot evict anyone in winter - it's the law.

lamp

No. She obviously does not respect money, so she is unlikely to either respect you, or your money. She needs to fall hard to learn, lending the money will only lead to you kissing it goodbye forever, losing your friend through great resentment, and her not learning.

You *may* fall out if you refuse to lend the money, but it's a guarantee you will fall out if you do lend the money.

cefynbach

I would be concrened that the friend waited untill she needed £10 grand before asking for her to help. Also would need to know how it would be repaid. Made the mistake of helping family member by loaning a few thousand and at first was repaid but then payments stopped and although it hasn't left me short I still get annoyed that it isn't being paid back.
So without some assurances I would say no.
:A :xmastree: :xmassign: :snow_laug

Coveredinbees!!!!

£10000? No deal Noel.

michtestdriver

I say no you could not only end up losing a best friend ,but all so 10k.my wife did the same sort of thing for a friend she would have trusted her life to lost our money and cost her a good freind.

MSE_Natasha wrote:

This week's Money Moral Dilemma


Jane's best friend since childhood has always been terrible with cash; and now she's got into serious debt and is in danger of losing her home. She's asked Jane for a loan of £10,000; money she can afford to lend without a problem, but can't afford to lose. They've always been through thick and thin together and supported each other in everything. Should Jane lend the cash?

Click reply to enter the money moral maze

Please remember, be polite to other MoneySavers, even if you disagree with them

Also read last week's MMD: Would you take the job?

PS. And just to confirm this is an entirely hypothetical situation. Each week in the email I will be asking those questions. And yes, the lack of detail, the phrasing, all of it is deliberate to envoke debate (nice debate too). Enjoy the money moral maze.

alfreda_2

Advice I was given when I was very young, and took. If you ever lend money, in your heart you must 'give' it. If you cannot afford to give it don't lend it.

srg123

I am actually right here and know with my good friend of 30 years. it started about 10 months ago he was right up against it, causing him serious depression. he was paying intrest to the bank +loan+credit card= no money to play with at all.
I managed to get him intrest free credit card to pay his overdraft with. set up monthly payment so will be payed off by end of 0% term, took new credit card from him cut up. sorted out sickness repayment on his existing credit card, and cut up. and taken away his debit card and give him weekly shopping allowance, set up direct debit repayment with his utilitys, spoke to council had poll tax extended to 12 months and paid by direct debit.
so no i wont loan him money. I believe that I have done the right thing.
He earns intrest on what little money he has in the bank, but there is money building up, slowly very slowly but it is building up.