MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Would you lend to a friend in need?

kateymac

I wouldnt lend it. I lent a "friend" £250 and he also "borrowed" a guitar from me ( sold it) and I never got the money back. Once bitten, swice shy...

ERMANTRUDE

No, sorry! If people bail you out all the time you will never learn to take responsibility for yourself.

Before you call me mean - lol - I did loan £750 to someone who had never had that kind of money and needed an air fare to go home to the far east when her father died. I got maybe half of it back. I had no regrets as I knew the risk and I knew that had i been in the same situation someone would have done the same for me.

There's a difference between someone who has had the money and managed badly and someone who who has never had the money and desparately needs it because of circumstances out of their control.

ELLIE.13

I am currently in the situation where I lent a 'friend' £400 back in October. She had the baliffs at the door and was off work on sick after having a major op also her car had failed MOT and was now scrap. It wasn't money I could afford to give and she promised to pay back before christmas. However, when she went back to work in the November she could only do part time hours and therefore was struggling to get presents for her kids (4 of them) for christmas. She was very apologettic and said she would pay as soon as she had some money. She happend to let it slip that she had found herself a replacement car and they were going to keep it for her. Then quickly added, but I'll repay you first obviously. I recently told her I have a big bill to pay by mid March and would need her to start repayments. She replied with the usual I'll pay you as soon as I have some money. Since then she has avoided me. She works at the same place as I do and payday was yesterday, so I sent her a text reminding her I needed the money back asap. I have driven past her house today on my way home from work and noticed her new car parked outside!
This isn't the first time I have been stung lending so called friends money. I will definately be saying no in the future.

Robin-o'-the-Hood

Sorry but no. If you cant afford to lose it its too much risk. I lent one of my best friends 600 (for a flat deposit) in 1995...money I'd saved doing an evening job for months. After that the only time I ever heard from her were postcards when she was on holiday all over Europe and N.Africa!!!

emily_jackson

I wouldn't lend her the money. Firstly, because I think when you lend friends money it could possibly do harm to your friendship. Sceondly, she's always been bad with money, so how is she going to learn if people keep bailing her out? I would recommend that she contacts the citizens advice bureau. I think I'm a good friend, but I'd never lend friends money.

alliwalli1972

I have, on occassions, lent my friend money. The most recent being £250 which I am getting back on Tuesday - I have only lent her the money when the council has cocked up her housing benefit and she gives it me straight back once they pay it to her.

I'm not sure that I would lend a friend £10k - I'm in financial difficulty myself and would be embarrassed to ask someone for that kind of money in the first place. I contacted the CCCS who have set up a debt management plan and my interest has been frozen and I pay the CCCS back a set amount each week. I would suggest that she try to contact a reputable debt agency in the first instance to see if she can get herself out of this mess. I would support her all I could - even though I'm paying my debt off, it is still worrying and it will take me years.

tequila26

NO I wouldnt lend it. you dont lend your friends money, you give it to them, when you start lending it to them they stop being your friends

lola_r_hamster

never load what you cant afford to lose. either loan it and consider it written off, or loan what you can afford to write off or say NO.

the heart ache and friendships lost because people dont repay money is unbelievable.

Lola
OP on mortgage since jan 07 - £200 (keep it up to save £11K)

Zilly_2

My son asked me the same question years ago, and I said "Never lend to a friend, give your friend what you can, on the understanding that it's a one-off, and that they shouldn't ask again, then try to help them sort themselves out". I think I'd give the same advice today.

steam_dan

A good friend would offer to help her friend to find a way to earn the money for themselves. Incidentally, I was in a similar situation some years ago. I leant a friend £2.50 so that he could buy a packet of 10 cigarettes. A week later, after payday I asked for the money back. My "friend" just laughed at me and said that £2.50 was nothing. To which I replied that it was an awful lot of money when he needed to borrow it from me. Imagine my surprise when, a few weeks later, the same "friend" asked if he could borrow £250. He was more than a little surprised when I replied "You couldn't even pay me back £2.50, what chance have I got of getting £250 back!". He didn't remain my friend for long after that.