MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Would you lend to a friend in need?

kamoha

I wouldn't lend the money no, with someone like that you never get it back in my experience, only loan what you can afford to lose.

tiggat28

Sorry but its definately a NO, its the quickest way to lose a friendship! if bad with money, once borrowed and debts settled, there is also a possiblity she will run up new debts because she is living beyond her means. Been there and got the the t-shirt!!

kamoha

So many sad stories here, seems the way to go is to get it in writing against something of value like a house, my ex owes me $1000 (hes American) I know I will NEVER see it again.

Chrysalis

what a lot of people are failing to see and its the reason why I lend(give) money is if you say no they can just end up going to a bank/loan shark borrowing the cash anyway except the difference is the bank is charging interest and will not write of debts and even worse it could be secured. Do you want that for your friends/family? better to get new debt from a friend/family then commercial institute.

K-Lye

I think a lot of people are missing the point here. It should not even get as far as consider whether or not you "can't afford to lose" whatever the sum is or how and if they pay it back. Those are all our own selfish concerns and what we're talking about here is a friend and his or her problems. Ironically, you would be a far worse friend for lending them money than not.

Consider this, people get into debt through ignorance and making bad decisions. There's no such thing as "accidentally" falling into debt. Most of us registered here on MSE already know this or have come to accept it.

The person in debt who is asking for help has not truly faced up to his or her problem by asking for a loan from friends. By giving in and lending them the money you'd be no more helping them than you are helping an alcoholic by giving him a drink because he asked for it.

If you are a true friend you would say NO and tolerate the abuse and hurt you may receive in return but be steadfast and drag that friend kicking and screaming into reality. Force them to face that they will have to do whatever is necessary to get themselves out of the problem. Be it selling their beloved home, going bankrupt or whatever.

You must reap to consequences of what you sow and them facing their problem will make them stronger and far less likely to fall into the same trap again. After all, you may not be around forever and how will they cope when you're not there to aid them again?

Nuclear1975

Would I yes, but only if there was security in there somewhere.

I sort of had the same situation a while ago, (slightly more complex) I got stiffed, for £2000, I'm still friends with the person, and they keep telling me that I'll be paid back, but I know im more likely to see elvis shopping in my local tesco's

POSSETTE

ive just took a zero % credit card out for my friend,as she was being ripped off with interest rates,and was struggling..i have £3500 in my name of hers,but she now pays £80 a month less than she was (just interest)and has made every payment necessary..i trust her and she me..

ADC_3

The answer is no.

My teenage son who works as a dishwasher in a pub lent £200 to a 'friend' at the pub who was 23 and was the chef. There is no way this is going to be repaid. They see each other often but no attempt is being made to repay. the chef also borrowed £200 from 2 other teenagers at the pub. He's just a bully.

Son also lent £150 to another teenager at work who needed it to 'go on holiday'. When he asked for that back he got little response until he mentioned it to her parents. They immediately repaid the loan and added £10 as compensatuion and took it up with their daughter.

I personally could repay these loan many hundreds of times over but I won't. I hope my son learns from these mistakes.

If you need a loan ask your family. That's what they're for. Even then take care. Some family can be !!!!!!!s. Use your common sense. You know who you can trust and sometime even family don't come into this category.

mazz1953

In the past, I have on several occasions lent money to friends (small sums under £200,) with a promise to pay back by arranged instalments. However, I have never found it easy to get the repayment back and I have ended writing off the debts. When they want money, they make promises in order to get the loan, but then you notice the distinct cooling off of the friendship. In my case, I have had extreme difficulty getting payment and when I have been made to feel a pest for asking for my money owing to me.

In my experience when you lend to a friend you lose both your money and the friend.

Tebacious_C

I would say yes but be wary. I lent my friend a grand, money i could easily afford to lend but not to lose. I got it all back eventually, but irrespective of that it does still cause tension between friends and soured our relationship somewhat for a temporary period of time. Its hard not to get annoyed at people with bad spending habits when you've lent them money especially if they are buying clothes they don't need and going out spending money etc when they owe you money.

they may need the cash and you may feel to be a good friend you should lend them it but then again you are risking problems in your friendship if you do lend them the money as well.