Double Trouble - Nothing by halves

Skint_but_Optimistic

((hugs))

You are a lovely person and need this outlet. Your kids are loved just as much, and thats what shines through. With my first one she was indulged, and wanted for nothing....

With my little one he is clad in ebay purchases... apart from his shoes.


I adore them just the same. I am just smarter these days.

If life teaches you nothing then it wasnt worth living.

x

taxi73

do not feel guilty you are a great mum to your kids...you couldn't have envisaged such drastic cuts in your main income xx

Hopeful1

I know where you're coming from DT. I frequently think about how many toys, clothes, holidays etc the eldest had in comparison to my youngest. It is frustrating. It's something else to remind us how rubbish we've been with money. HOWEVER, our children are loved and certainly not deprived. We have to be strong and remember that things won't be like this forever and be sure to teach our children the meaning of money when the time is right. I think it was my lack of understanding that allowed me to get into this mess if that makes sense??

As for worrying about those you know finding out your identity - why don't you create another username just for your diary? Keep it focused on the finance and avoid discussing family. I know it's not quite the same, but at least everyone can keep giving you financial support and encouragement on the forum. You could pm the few you know you can trust to let them know your new identity and use pms to keep those you wish to know more personal thoughts.

Hope you're feeling a little better in yourself xxx

boredofbeingathome

Double_Trouble wrote: »

I have not been posting just lurking because I thought that my OHs best friend's wife had found me here which would have been a bit embarassing as they have no idea of our financial position but after further investigation it seems to be OK.

I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that at the moment I am unlikely to find a job as I am over qualified if I apply for basic jobs and employers quite rightly believe I would move on if something better comes along and the ones I am qualified for loads of other people are applying for with more recent experience so my applications are not getting past first base. I will keep applying but there is no point in expecting or relying on that front so I am trying to up my income in other ways as I feel that there is little wiggle room left on the reducing expenditure front. I don't want to say too much about what I am doing as the recent scare has made me a bit paranoid about posting on here which is a shame really as this is one place I felt I could be really honest and where I know I will get support I did meet up with a friend on Monday and I did start opening up to her although that had not been my intention but it made me upset but I am glad I did because she was lovely and I do feel that in real life I have very few people I can be completely honest about our situation with

DTxx

I felt like that last week- i think it is the season for it. DFD and DFW is a little haven, where we can get support and just get it out there and talk. :grouphug:

Things will improve and if you ask your older children, i bet they hardly remember individual hols and they tend to merge into one. My children hardly remember the hols abroad but preferred Haven Holidays where they loved the Tiger and the Tiger club..cheap, cheerful and lots of fun. They enjoyed just spending time with us- after all a holiday is just a break where you get away from the norm. So i wouldn't feel guilty and i wouldn't swap time with my children for anything.:D

Double_Trouble

Thanks for the kind words and you are so right.

Been looking at finances they are not improving decided to warn/encourage the older two to work towards financial independence from us they now both have a monthly allowance but all extras have stopped and they have been good about this but now is the time to step it up a bit for their own good and also for ours that extra money would make a big difference to us I know that it won't happen immediately as they both have personal difficulties to overcome but at least I know they will be trying and if everything went pear shaped for us it would be good if they were already financially independent.

Read an article today about asset rich cash poor and that is us to a T and at the moment none of our assets are easy to sell a business premises which we need to keep as long as the business stays afloat and if it goes under probably wouldn't be worth much anyway, our house which we fill to the brim so would be hard to downsize so the alternative would be renting which I would feel very unsecure about and the villa which I would now love to sell but the market out there is dire so in reality unsellable. If we can hang on until the market abroad improves I would sell it in an instant as it would solve a lot of problems not just financial but worry about its upkeep when we are not able to visit.

On another note been thinking about Christmas and have been assessing my voucher stash which is £11 M&S and £304.50 Mr. T so I really hope they do their double up on toys offer again this year but need to consider the older children and they have new year birthdays too amazon vouchers would be useful so have gone back to w**h** to see if I can win any haven't redeemed my first voucher yet as I find it so tedious but I need to perservere just over halfway to a £10 voucher also gone back to my survey co. £10.25 so far but need to get to £25 at least that is a cheque so can be spent anywhere so Christmas should be OK I think if I am careful.

DTxx

Skint_but_Optimistic

It will get there, and your kids will be fine. they will be better adults for being able to manage money.

Thanks for pushing me to do some surveys, I will aim for ten minutes a day. x

Keeping_Motivated

DT obviously you are right about the market re selling your house abroad however do you not think it would be worth putting it on the market 'just in case'. You never know it only takes one person to be looking and your be the one, there are still people buying if only a few, worth a try, nothing lost?

Double_Trouble

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

DT obviously you are right about the market re selling your house abroad however do you not think it would be worth putting it on the market 'just in case'. You never know it only takes one person to be looking and your be the one, there are still people buying if only a few, worth a try, nothing lost?

The trouble is that villas identical to ours (second phase that was completed just as the credit crunch bit) are not selling even at less than the price we paid for ours 7 years ago and by the time we paid expenses etc we would be seriously out of pocket whereas if we could hang on and got what we paid for it we would be virtually debt and mortgage free which would be amazing - but when will that be that is the dilemma? How long can we wait? I think it is going to be a long haul really need that crystal ball

DTxx

Keeping_Motivated

If you sold at a loss would you still be better off financially and health/stress wise? Would the loss still improve your life and your stress levels and pay off your debt and 'some' of your mortgage? Obviously its your decision and its a huge one and I could understand you waiting but for how long and at what cost? If you paid your debt off and some of your mortgage then could you pay the rest off yourself monthly with much less stress/pressure?

Thats easy for me to suggest its not me who would be taking a loss but just know how things are for you at the moment and I know the mental pressure you seem to be under and also your quality of life.

Double_Trouble

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

If you sold at a loss would you still be better off financially and health/stress wise? Would the loss still improve your life and your stress levels and pay off your debt and 'some' of your mortgage? Obviously its your decision and its a huge one and I could understand you waiting but for how long and at what cost? If you paid your debt off and some of your mortgage then could you pay the rest off yourself monthly with much less stress/pressure?

Thats easy for me to suggest its not me who would be taking a loss but just know how things are for you at the moment and I know the mental pressure you seem to be under and also your quality of life.

I know that's the conversation that keeps going round in my head

DTxx