Ignorant comments

aliasojo

Thoughtless throwaway comment.

Treat it in the same manner, throw it away and forget about it. It doesn't warrant any of your emotion even thinking about it.

pipkin71

Feel for you OP. She certainly isn't a friend to think that. Clearly she has no knowledge of how your life is

I would say try not to let it get to you, but, given that she is supposedly a friend, it's easy to see why it has.

We went to Stratford the other day and, as we got off the train, a woman walking behind me [maybe early 60's] muttered loud enough for me to hear 'For gods sake, can't she hurry up?' :(

It did upset me.

If I could hurry up, I would. She could have walked round me if she wanted to but instead chose to complain in a voice that ensured I heard her :(

pwales_2

i was told by two family members and one was my mother, that i was so lucky to get a car on motabilty that it is somtimes it pays being in a parapleigic!:eek:
i did nt speak to them for a while :rotfl::rotfl:

mouth moving before engaging brain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

LadyMorticia

If that's a friend, I'd hate to see your enemies.:eek: She doesn't sound like a friend at all, and even if it was meant in jest (which is doubtful) it was a very hurtful thing to say.

People are ignorant about my M.E all the time. It does hurt and ignorance may be bliss to them but it certainly isn't to me.

nannytone_2

i don't want to defend people who say ignorant things.......but..........

it is really hard to empathise unless youve been in the exact position.......
people 'word' things badly.........but that isnt always their intention.

in regards to the comment about 'being lucky' to have a motability car............
dont you think they might just be recognising what a godsend it is to you, rather than them being jealous of the car and being oblivious to your disability?

dori2o

I had this a few weeks ago.

I went to see someone in the HR department about getting another OH referral. I explained that my meds had changed and that I was now on Morphine and stronger anti depressants. The person I saw sits directly opposite the deputy manager of the contact centre I work in. As I walked away I heard the deputy manager say, 'What the hell is he on morphine for, there nowt bloody wrong with him'.

My condition has been going on now for 5 years and the deputy manager is more than fully aware of the situation.

She however in the past has been determined to get rid of me due to the amount of time off I have had to take.

She's nothing more than an ignorant b*tch.

nannytone_2

all disabled people live in a 'normal' world. of course we want our differences to be accepted, and not to feel 'out of the loop'

i have a supposed #hidden disability'
i have legs that work and i can string a sentance together quite easily. and yes it is nice that the people that know me, make allowances for my lack of sight, even though they dont understand.
i'll walk straight through someomes toddler, yet i'll see a bit of fluff on the floor!

it's nice when the 'normal' world actively goes out of their way to accept disability........but you cant expect it to instinclively know our very complex requirements!

Erme

Barneysmom wrote: »

I know, I've had it myself.
4 months into hubby's cancer treatment and sis-in-law phoned up and said 'Love you bab, I'm here for you' I said thanks, put the phone down thinking 'No you're bluudy not'

She's not even phoned since then to see how we are.

Sounds just like my twin..says she loves me but only phones once a year...go figure? Never visits - not allowed to even knowher snail addy never mind visit. Don't even mention her landline no...not allowed that either...

Last time we spoke she said 'you don't realise what Ma does for you' which I took to mean 'I don't realise what Erme does for Ma' cos inevitably any crisis PS has (psycho sibling) Ma invariably has to deal with...she can't so then I have to pick up the pieces for Ma..

What was the other thing I got last time? Och yeah 'you enjoy being sick' when I said Ma stressing me out makes me unwell. - Okay yahs...so I enjoy being so spaced out and confused and hallucinating I can't function or cross a road never mind get a on a bus and feed myself etc? Yeah like that sounds like FUN for an independent and articulate wee lassie?

Maybe my quality of life isn't fab by some folks standards but I get by. I have good days/bad days and live for the good days. The bad days I can barely get out of bed....never mind walk anywhere or listen to the radio.....I enjoy lots of things..have quite a few hobbies and try and contribute to the community... Beat that delusional amoeba (Cos that's all these folk are...amoeba...or in my twin's case 'PS - psycho sibling)...

Don't let the amoebas grind you down folks...you are worth heaps more than them any day and do the country far more good than they do with their heap of personal debt and their 'keeping up with the Joneses' mentality...You live life in all it's richness and fullness...whereas they just exist from pay cheque to pay cheque...

Sorry to rant - pray no one minds

E

nannytone_2

i have a supposed 'inherited' genetic condition. only problem is that no one else in the family has it!

because of the lack of family history, i wasnt diagnosed until i was 12.
my parents decided not to tell the school, ( they didnt tell me either!)as they didnt want me treated differently. instead they thought i was stupid!
but i don't begrudege my parents decision.
my dad especially, see any ilness as a weakness. thats just the way he is.
when i was registered blind in 1996 (at the age of 33) i phoned him..........and i was ever so upset. just having the words 'registered blind' applied to me, really freaked me out.
he said 'whats your problem...........cant you see as weel today as you could yesterday?'
it sounds harsh, but his words did me the power of good. it wasnt the end of the world!

of course he didnt understand the impact my loss of sight had, and continues to have.

but i live in a fully sighted world and cant expect the majority to change the way they live for the minority!

even non disabled people..............for every 100 you talk to.......they will all have different wants and needs.

i think its far more constructive to try to fit in than expect the whole world to change for us.

plus it will make us happier.
we will enjoy the life we have rather than resenting the life we cant have!

formaldehyde_perfume

I was on crutches the other day when I walked in to my buildings society and asked them to update my books, the woman looked at me and said 'so what have you done to yourself?' like my disability was some how my fault. Even if I had only broken my leg or something there are very few people who would do that deliberately so I think it was incredibly insensitive to say to anyone... But it is just ignorance

My advice to the OP would be to try and calmly explain to the person that you found the comment inappropriate and it was upsetting, your life is very difficult and although you love your child that your life would be a lot easier if they didn't have autism, and that you would love to be able to work and do all the things that non-carers take for granted. Then, if this doesn't get through to the 'friend' I would just stop talking to them, they really aren't worth the energy.