Memorygirls - The Matrix Re-inspired

NorthernLas

'soon-to-be-slim' is so much more positive than w****t loss :j

Mindful eating takes practice, but I can vouch that it is so much more satisfying to eat something that 'hits the spot' (be it carrot, pizza, chocolate, strawberries, greek yoghurt) than the alternative 'low fat' (that'll be the chemical sweetners/thickeners and other rubbish to make it edible) version.

Of course, some low fat things, like skimmed milk and low-fat cottage cheese I like ... however, I have become an avid label reader and put back things that have things I don't expect in them.

I really like the idea of own home made salad dressings and will be experimenting forthwith.

But first ... hmmm, eggy bread awaits :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:- I saw it on Lorraine the other morning and have been waiting for the moment!!!

Craftyscholar

Another supporter for your decisions Fantasia - the child had to be protected and referring to SS was the best way of letting them know what really happened.

MG - I was in your Uni town yesterday and remembered what you said about the students. Now, bearing in mind I am a generation above you (travelled on my bus pass), do I envy them their young strength and suppleness? Yes:o Do I envy anything else? No - I would not want to be 20 in 2011.
In fact my theme song right now is this

Memory_Girl

fantasia322 wrote: »

Hi Matrixettes,
Thank you for all the lovely PM's. I've been reading when i can, but have got some personal issues at the moment which i am trying to deal with. Will explain because its complicated. Wont use names because this is a public forum and I know people from all walks of life read etc.
About 25 years ago there was an issue in my family with a relation abusing a child (beating not sexual). The child was a baby and someone came to me with the info and I knew what they were saying was the truth, but they were afraid of the person hurting the child so I stepped in and reported the abuser. Result was back in the 80's if you were shown to be giving false information then you were at risk of prosecution, however I was validated because the police intervened and said baby was removed from relations care, to hospital (designated place of safety) and then into foster care. However relations between me and other party broke down. Other party then did a disappearing act and baby was put into guardianship of another close family member. Years passed and baby grew up and had a very strained relationship with abuser, she had heard rumours in family about what had happened, and couldnt deal with it, so she was pointed in my direction. Was sort of torn between stirring up the past and letting sleeping dogs lie but I suggested that to get a full version of the truth perhaps seek her records from Social Services, which she duly did. So now she knows the full truth about what happened and the part i played in it.
She has started seeing a councillor, and hopefully the end result will be that she finds peace. Abuser had totaly denied anything had ever happened, and told lots of people including child that nothing had happened and that I was lying through jealousy etc.
Now others know the truth but I've been getting it in the neck for openeing up a can of worms and have been having nightmares about, did I do right by telling the truth, or should I have left it alone. Maybe I'm the one who should seek councilling. I need to move on from this but am finding it soooooooo hard.
On top of this things havent been good at home because I can't focus on anything else and OH reckons i should have let the whole issue lie. So we are barely communicating at the moment. I've really been concentrating hard on work, to take my mind off everything.

Sorry Matrix, this is a long-winded, rant, sound-off blah, blah, but I've been carrying it round for so long maybe I've now got it off my chest.
MG will say to OH you've got all the stuff and ask him to get in touch, I cant guarantee what the outcome will be though, he isnt very communicative at the moment.
Am sooooooo sorry for the long ramble.

Thank goodness you are in touch hon - because I made the decision yesterday I was going to drive over to you this monring when the kids were in St A to find out how you were.

I've jus one and woken my Mum up - cos after your post I needed to talk to her, and she says I've to tell you what I just told her (She is on the Childrens Panel her BTW.

Firstly I think you are the bravest lady I know stepping up to report the abuser in the 1980's (when protection really was less of an issue). YOU are the one who took on the job of protecting a defenceless baby when no-oe else in your family had the guts to. YOU are the one who put that baby first.

Now that baby has grown up, and has read the report, they know the truth - and it would be very strange if they weren't very angry. OUr family are supposed to care and protect us - not expose us to abuse...................... and as you were the one who "manned up" you are in the firing line.

But this too shall pass - especially with the intervention of a counciller. The child will eventually come to the realisation that you are NOT the one that caused this issue in the family - the abuser is. But the abuser, being an abuser may NEVER accept their part in the past - that is part of their pathology. I can accept that everyones emotions are running high right now.

But YOU did the right thing, and I hope that given the same circumstances you would do the same thing and be the advocate for a child in danger - because that is the only point you need to look in your heart at. "Did I do the right thing at that time with the information I had to hand?"

I think you did,scratch that I know you did, why??? Because I was once that child and really it took until I was preganant with DS1 before I faced the issue square on and told my "real Dad's" side of the family that they would have no contact, that the cycle of abusive men stopped right here with my precious kid.

BUt I was angry for a long time, and I was inappropriately angry withthe person who stepped in and saved me ( I have since eaten a lot of very humble pie)

But I am here, I have a future and I have my boys - somethig that I am not sure would ever have happened had someone not put me first above all other things.

So you are now officially "Aunty Fantasia" to two wee lads here who would like to invite you for coffee and cake anytime you want to take a break and find somewhere to vent.

You're a hero love - and i'm sure others here feel exactlythe same.

MG

Memory_Girl

Sorry guys - I meant to come on and tell you that yesterday went fabuously - and the pennies will come in very useful.

GOt to take the boys to St A today and then its the car boot weekend - so although my back is very stiff from driving 100 miles+ yesterday I am in good spirits.

I'm with you guys on the weight loss - here or where-ever, but I would LOVE to do it with you guys. I'm going to do it one step at a time, one new habit at a time (help from Sugah on this - she gave me a list I just haven't had the motivation to follow it)

FIRST - "Soon to be Slim" Challenge

"What gets measured get results. Grab yourself a pretty notepad and record EVERY MORSEL that passes you lips for the next week - and the EMOTION you experiences when eating. You don't need to follow any particular diet to do this, but be as accurate and honest as you can"

Off to find a book to take to St A.



............... and a big thankyou to everyone who suppoted Fantasia yesterday .............. you all said what was in my heart but much more eloquently.

MG

clairewop

Good Morning,

MG what a lovely post, you made my eyes leak.

A lovely sunny morning here, WM on kitchen cleaned, just going to tidy throws on settee and that is it today,

Can someone give me the link again for the other side please?? So I can catch up??? Got my own laptop back after 6 months so haven't got anything stored in my favourites.

Forgot to say I took the aprons with me yesterday to show my mate, and she loved them and put them on display in the shop had a lot of comments on them, one lady told me peg bags sell well so make those up for the big cheese and adult aprons as they are hard to find too. When she goes to the shop for her next lot of wool, she will make me a peg bag pattern and instructions and give them to my mate for me.

crickett1234

Good Morning all you wonderful Matrix peeps.

Today at work is a Portfolio Day. My challenge for this morning is to complete the drafting of my last section and then crack on with redrafting some of my work experience log and starting on one of my other employers. That is plenty to keep me occupied for this morning!

Food wise... hubby and I had 3 egg omlettes for tea, and mine had ham, cheese and onion in it. I had a lovely herby green salad with it as well. It was lush!! Oh, and I did my 30 minute Wii Fit plus workout comprising yoga and muscle exercises along with a bit of a "jog" on the spot such as you can do with Wii Fit plus. It was quite good. I am feeling it today though, I must confess. But not enough to make me not want to do any exercise tonight. I think I will try for a different form on exercise tonight... not sure what though. Maybe housework! Oooh, the glamour of my life. I can't cope!!

Have lovely day ladies. See you at lunch!

tellmeitsfriday

Ooo look what happens on my trip to work!

Glad it went well MG We had no doubts though did we!

Agree with all on Fantasia, I couldn't comment yesterday - but definitely you were in the right, and the "baby who is now an adult" will see that too. Your hubby will see too that you did things with the right attitude in your heart. <hugs to Fantasia and Mr Fantasia>

Claire, have you noticed - nearly 10% of your target. How is the Great Boiler Race going? How's hubby doing with his half?

I am seriously demotivated. I think I need to write a super list for the next 9 weeks to year end, because currently, I spend my days messing about on the Internet. LT time for a new job, but for the ST I must do certain things, maybe having them written down will help me.

Clare - good luck with last section. You've done ever so well (where did you find your motivation in the end) x

I've been bad already today - there was no bread at home, so I had McD's breakfast. Waste of £3 and although it tasted nice, I am sure it's not good for me either. Still, at least I had OJ and walked from the car park to work instead of getting the bus. Naughty TMIF!

crickett1234

tellmeitsfriday wrote: »

Clare - good luck with last section. You've done ever so well (where did you find your motivation in the end) x

Thank you! I think my motivation is that once this is done and I have the letters they can't take them away from me!!

lucielle

What a fabulous post MG and well done Fantasia.
L

Marru

Fantasia, MG has put is so much better than I ever could. Talk to your OH, he might just be upset to see you upset and doesn't know how to help you. Explaining how you feel that you love him might help him to express himself more constructive way.

And Crickett - well done. :T You have inspired me to get organised with my PER