Nearly 30, in debt, lost and nervous! I need to change.

Lost_and_nervous

I feel like I dont belong, belong where I live, belong in society! Whilst everyone seems to be rushing round to get last minute presents and taking it all in their stride, theres me who gets stressed, anxious and thinking I dont want to be part of this next year. I hate crowds, it panics me and I hate the not being in control feeling. All I want is a nice happy self who is not taken over by guilt, panic, anxiety and the pure dread that I am going to muck it all up. Its terrible but I want to get christmas over and done with now. Its draining me, I cant cope with the chaos now and I just want to start 2012. Why am I like this? why am I wishing christmas away? I just need to be strong. xx

Eager_Elephant

Hi Lost

Hope you had a good Xmas.

Please don't wish to be like other people who you think are going about their business without any stress as I am sure they are all very stressed but unless they actually admit it how would you know?

I think it is great that you can admit how you are feeling and try to deal with it, a lot of people do not acknowledge it and so it festers until they end up with a breakdown.

I too hate crowds now but managed to sort Xmas without being in any crowds and I think you did as well.

I remember a few years ago I used to brave the crowds on 27th and shop until we dropped - now I can't face it and anyway we have debt to clear.

Hope that 2012 is better for you.

Lost_and_nervous

Eager_Elephant wrote: »

Hi Lost

Hope you had a good Xmas.

Please don't wish to be like other people who you think are going about their business without any stress as I am sure they are all very stressed but unless they actually admit it how would you know?

I think it is great that you can admit how you are feeling and try to deal with it, a lot of people do not acknowledge it and so it festers until they end up with a breakdown.

I too hate crowds now but managed to sort Xmas without being in any crowds and I think you did as well.

I remember a few years ago I used to brave the crowds on 27th and shop until we dropped - now I can't face it and anyway we have debt to clear.

Hope that 2012 is better for you.

Happy New Year! Thank you for your kind words and you are so right, how do I know? I know that I am standing on the outside, in the street, shopping centre, petrol station etc looking in and all I see is stress free, happy and in control, but you are so right, how would I know their true feelings?

I think admitting it is half the battle and on here thats what we do, we admit and then deal with it. I do mean it when I say I wouldnt have been able to do it without you all!!

The crowds and the stress of grabbing the bargains, you have done so well to go from that type of 'tradition' to not doing it at all and putting your debts first!!! xxx

Lost_and_nervous

Happy new year everyone! I cried new years eve, surrounded by the dreaded family, what relief 2011 is over. Looking back on it I can say its was a bad year and a good year. I had difficulties which I learnt about and tried to overcome/deal with. I started to grow stronger and realised what I want in life!

Starting 2012 is a new beggining and i want to make the most of the year, I want to really feel like I have achieved and done my best! I have lists on the go, I have done a what I want to achieve by the end of 2012 and I am determined to tick it off at the end!

I feel being positive and happy will be the only way to get through everything. I just need to really focus on things and make the most of everyday, I wont overload myself as that will make me fail but doing everything to achieveable time scales will really ease the pressure. I dont need much in life, just for my family to be ok, DD to be happy and part of a happy home and for my finances to be in some sort of order.

Waiting for a free listing weekend on ebay, but they just dont seem to be coming about any time soon! Sit tightly and wait is the key.

I really am going to avoid using the car this year for unneccessary journeys, I could do with loosing the weight and certainly saving the petrol consumption and even the car! My car is old and therefore not too economical, would like to get another year out of her if I can. I can walk everywhere, I just need to plan my days better which I am going to do. Just need to really be strict with myself.

I am happy its all back to normal tomorrow, to really get on with the year. I am that sad that I have started to buy christmas presents already for next year. In the poundshop (they should have a magical little light outside which beams, such amazing places) and picked a lovely book up for DD. Keeping a list of all the bits too and the prices so I know how much I am spending, amount Ive got.

I just hope that I can really sort everything that I want to out this year! I am feeling so determined but on the other hand a little nervous. Which is silly I know. It is all about organisation and planning.

I have all these great ideas and but its putting them all in to play now. I am not holding my breath for miracles but it would be nice!

Heres to 2012 - the start of something new!!!! xxx

Eager_Elephant

Hi Lost

Glad to see you back - I guessed that you hadn't been on as your OH would have been off from work.

It's lovely that you have plans ready for 2012. I do not think you are sad having started your Xmas shopping, I think it is being very organised.

I am sorry that 2011 did not end well - are the dreaded family yours or your OHs? Can you avoid them next year or do they come to yours? No one should be that unhappy around people that they cry.

Good Luck in 2012!!!

girlatplay

Hi Lost! A very Happy New Year to you (and to E_E!)

I have come to the conclusion that miracles happen to other people so why shouldn't they happen to me? I have as much right to a miracle as the next person. Same goes for you.

You sound positive about the coming year. There is nothing sad about buying christmas presents now, in fact, I'm sure Martin would agree that it is a very good idea and also, you are not the only person who does that! :money:

Here's to a very happy, productive and successful 2012

Gap xx

Little_bit_dizzy

Hi Lost

I posted right back at the beginning of your thread and then went awol for a bit, but I'm back now and have been reading through all your posts, which is quite inspirational. You have travelled a million miles and should be very proud of yourself.

And well done for buying things for Christmas already, it's not sad at all, just organised, efficient and very MSE!

I hope that 2012 brings you lots of love, laughter and happiness along with everything else you you hope for and dream of.

Diz

Lost_and_nervous

Eager_Elephant wrote: »

Hi Lost

Glad to see you back - I guessed that you hadn't been on as your OH would have been off from work.

It's lovely that you have plans ready for 2012. I do not thing you are sad having started your Xmas shopping, I think it is being very organised.

I am sorry that 2011 did not end well - are the dreaded family yours or your OHs? Can you avoid them next year or do they come to yours? No one should be that unhappy around people that they cry.

Good Luck in 2012!!!

Yes I cant come on when he is here as he continuously looks over to what I am doing and questions me so instead of me getting frustrated and causing a massive argument its easier to come on when hes at work. Not fair though as I would benefit from coming on here daily.

Thank you, that makes me feel better, yesterday at work I told a couple of people in conversation as they were moaning about it and I said I had started to pick bits up, the looks I got, OH thinks its silly too as 'we dont have the room'. Well if it was his bank account which it came out of then am sure he would think differently.

the dreaded family are his! clicky and spiteful to be honest. I dont have much to do with my family, they arent near by and are busy. No avoiding them Im afraid, all part and parcel of my relationship.

Thank you xxx

Lost_and_nervous

girlatplay wrote: »

Hi Lost! A very Happy New Year to you (and to E_E!)

I have come to the conclusion that miracles happen to other people so why shouldn't they happen to me? I have as much right to a miracle as the next person. Same goes for you.

You sound positive about the coming year. There is nothing sad about buying christmas presents now, in fact, I'm sure Martin would agree that it is a very good idea and also, you are not the only person who does that! :money:

Here's to a very happy, productive and successful 2012

Gap xx

Happy new year Gap, how are you and little miss? Did you have a good one? Its very true about the miracles, and you are so right, why shouldnt it happen to us? Fingers crossed for the miracle!!

I am trying to be as positive as possible. i had a down day yesterday and as a result of it I did nothing! Thank you xxx

Lost_and_nervous

Little_bit_dizzy wrote: »

Hi Lost

I posted right back at the beginning of your thread and then went awol for a bit, but I'm back now and have been reading through all your posts, which is quite inspirational. You have travelled a million miles and should be very proud of yourself.

And well done for buying things for Christmas already, it's not sad at all, just organised, efficient and very MSE!

I hope that 2012 brings you lots of love, laughter and happiness along with everything else you you hope for and dream of.

Diz

Hi Diz welcome back and thank you for taking the time to read! How are you? Thank you for your kind words, its so hard to be though. But positive way forward

I picked up another item, I am getting all small cheap things at the moment, money which I wont notice.

Thank you so much, it means alot that you have come back to see my diary. Happy New year to you xxx