Nearly 30, in debt, lost and nervous! I need to change.

bonsibabe

Hi Lost, glad to see you sounding really positive. Don't let these payday folk get you down because you are doing so well.

Hope you enjoy the church bazaar. I went to a local craft fair with DD1 and DD2 and while they spent their money, I spent £0!!! Was really chuffed with myself.

Keep up the great work, yu are doing so well!

ebayqueen_2

Same here Lost

Hope you are having a lovely time.

take care
E

Lost_and_nervous

girlatplay wrote: »

Hi Lost, how lovely to see you!

Sounds like you are doing great with the batch cooking. I really wish I could get the finger out and do that too Good news about the gas and electric.

I don't know that the payday loan company can do that. I'm sure I read on another thread somewhere that that is harrassment and they can't do it. Unfortunately I can't remember which thread it was. If I come across it I will let you know.

Sorry OH is being a pain again. You are so much a better person than him and you deserve to be treated so much better.

Yes, go to the church bazaar tomorrow. It will be lovely for you and Little Lost to be in amongst people who are kind and treat you like a normal human being. I think you will enjoy it.

Take care xx

You should really try it, I am freezing everything and bulking meat out with veg. OH doesnt really know, would freak if he did but its starting to save us lots. And not wasting hot water has helped with the gas.

Thsnk you for your kind words. xxx

Lost_and_nervous

bonsibabe wrote: »

Hi Lost, glad to see you sounding really positive. Don't let these payday folk get you down because you are doing so well.

Hope you enjoy the church bazaar. I went to a local craft fair with DD1 and DD2 and while they spent their money, I spent £0!!! Was really chuffed with myself.

Keep up the great work, yu are doing so well!

Thank you so much for your kind words. Thats really good you spent £0! Well done. That was really good of you.

Thank you xxx

Lost_and_nervous

ebayqueen wrote: »

Same here Lost

Hope you are having a lovely time.

take care
E

Thank you for your kind words. xxx

Lost_and_nervous

Well what a week, I have done some overtime which I am pleased I have done. Decembers pay is going to be awful.

OH just doesnt quiet grasp the fact that I want to go shopping on my own, I want to put money aside each month for things meaning he must put some extra a way so things are covered and I am not left picking up the pieces. It winds me up, I am trying to get him on board more so that our wages are our wages yet he still just isnt grasping it. Well if he doesnt, his family wont be getting presents, his car wont be getting taxed and all DDs presents will be from me only not him. I really am starting the new year on a fresh start, I have ben so down and depressed this year, I have been so behind with things and head stuck in the stand. Enough is enough.

We took a walk to the bazaar, I spent £2.50, really bad of me but £2 of that was on 4 little toy baby knitted hats, dress, booties and mitts and I am going to put them away in the loft in a box for DD next christmas when she is older. And thats what I plan to do in the poundshop soon. And they will be from me if he doesnt start coughing up. At least that way the £5 I give me and DD, I will be able to get her something with the money, feel like I am spending but actually am saving at the same time. I just want to do my best.

I have got a beauty job. Actually through an online engine advert. Very very nervous, havent done the work for so long, what happens if I do it wrong? What happens if they arent pleased? I have to travel out of area but its worth it to be able to build my experience up. Am doing it next week.

OH is still talking to me like I am nothing, I just dont seem to get anywhere with him, I feel so frustrated all the time, I really do. all the questions, all the negativity, all the putting me down. Why cant he learn to leave me alone. He says I am not cuddly or loving well when you being told your not up to spec, your not going to want to be. I watch soaps on tv and look at certain love lives and men can be lovely and loving. I just havent been lucky enough to get that. I am sure I am being punished for all the silly things I have done. I lack so much confidence and just want to really build myself up. Spending as little as I can.

Payday loan company have passed the debt on to another company and i have informed my DMP. they are being so difficult. But i must move on and be happy.

Thank you all for being here for me. I hope you are all ok. xxx

girlatplay

Hi Lost

I am so glad you went to the bazaar. Don't feel guilty for spending. It will definitely see you good for next Christmas. I know from my own experience that if you completely deprive yourself of any treats (either for you or for Little Lost) it makes things so much harder.

Congrats on the job! :T You are not going to do it wrong. People will be pleased, why wouldn't they be? Just make sure you go in there with the confidence that we have seen in recent posts. You can do it, you know you can so don't doubt yourself. That is an order!!!

Some of us do choose tw@ts as OH's, goodness knows I did! I managed to get shot of mine though, best thing I ever did. Oh no, second best, best was getting Little Miss Gap!!

Take care and good luck with the job, let us know how you get on.

xxx

elainejo

Lost_and_nervous wrote: »

Hello to you all.

This has taken a lot of courage to do this, I live in a small town where everyone knows your name, your business and judge you. Therefore I am staying as annoymonous as I can. This diary is going to be my heart out on the line and open to you all. I will probably take thread breaks as its really hard for me. Thank you to you all for reading and bare with me.

I have been lurking on this site for a while, just have not had the courage to join. Something which I now know will help me.

I am nearly 30 :mad: and am a first time mum which is a wonderful happy experience, and I need to change to help my daughter grow up understanding the importance of not judging people, working hard to gain things in life without debt. Something which I was taught but got myself caught up in the 'city' life when am a small town girl. Credit was readily available. Silly me.

I have now made the biggest decision to deal with something I have hid. But I have lost myself in myself and am very nervous. I was taking antidepressants but felt they were making me worst and there was days when I would not go out. I am scared in the house, scared out of the house, and worry about everything. Bed seems the best option but with my daughter she gives me inspiration to move and at least do the best with her.

I have a partner who I love dearly but being a big part of the small town, I have had to keep myself closed it. He is very supportive but its not fair on him to take my burdens. He has a stressful demanding job but never lets it get in the way of family time. My past is my past and he is my future.

I used to work full time, money was never an issue, credit got me more of the luxuary in life and I always had my nails done, eyelash extensions, hair done, latest phones, new bags and shoes, clothes every week, I had a figure and motivation.

i am now working part time as childminding is too expensive for full time and I wouldnt gain. Mums I have spoken to are in the same situation. I qualified as a beautician whilst on maternity leave but just havent got the money to get it off the ground. My reason for qualifing was to be able to work during the evenings when childcare wouldnt be an issue.

I dont know what I can do, my wages dont cover my debts, I just need to solve the problems.

I will post my soa.

Get in touch with the CCCS they are fantastic they will sort it all out with you and you make one payment a month that is agreed between you and them it is all confidential they are very nice people and they deal with your credtors not you I cannot sing their praises enough I owed £26000 without my husband knowing and when he found out it was nearly the shortest marriage ever we got in touch with them and I am now a year away from being debt free thanks to them. Good luck

girlatplay

elainejo wrote: »

Get in touch with the CCCS they are fantastic they will sort it all out with you and you make one payment a month that is agreed between you and them it is all confidential they are very nice people and they deal with your credtors not you I cannot sing their praises enough I owed £26000 without my husband knowing and when he found out it was nearly the shortest marriage ever we got in touch with them and I am now a year away from being debt free thanks to them. Good luck

Lost started a DMP on 1st November. She has come such a long way and we are all so proud of her!!!

Gap x

Lost_and_nervous

girlatplay wrote: »

Hi Lost

I am so glad you went to the bazaar. Don't feel guilty for spending. It will definitely see you good for next Christmas. I know from my own experience that if you completely deprive yourself of any treats (either for you or for Little Lost) it makes things so much harder.

Congrats on the job! :T You are not going to do it wrong. People will be pleased, why wouldn't they be? Just make sure you go in there with the confidence that we have seen in recent posts. You can do it, you know you can so don't doubt yourself. That is an order!!!

Some of us do choose tw@ts as OH's, goodness knows I did! I managed to get shot of mine though, best thing I ever did. Oh no, second best, best was getting Little Miss Gap!!

Take care and good luck with the job, let us know how you get on.

xxx

Thank you so much for your encouragement and kind words, I do love and cherish coming on here (which I havent been able to oas much as what I wish but am hoping it will change). I am not going to deprive us, its a journey of learning and now having a focus on picking things up for christmas perhaps birthdays, cheap things within my little spending budget and then hopefully next christmas wont be a struggle worry.

Thank you, I have made £15 which am pleased about, I was very nervous, and worried but I combated it and it went well. Handed a few leaflets out too which is a bonus.

Well someone has to choose them and give them a chance hey...

Hope you and little miss are ok xxx