My home is a mess

Cat501

oh laurel honey big big hugs to you!!!

What is your actual job, if you don't mind me asking? xxx

Catslovelycats

laurel7172 wrote: »

I can't stop crying.

We had some bloody HR consultant at work this afternoon. Just to tell us how loved and appreciated we are.

But I don't feel I am. I mean, I REALLY don't feel I am in any way that matters. (Apparently, I'm fabulous, hardworking and my year group don't know what they'd do without me...as long as I know my place). A lot of stuff has gone on, but I think the last straw was that my teacher was off last week, the school is completely cash-strapped, but they'd rather pay for some semi-useless stranger whose input had to be re-taught than let me lead. (Oh, we know you'd be really good at it, but we can't set a precedent). I can tick along most of the time while looking for somewhere or something else, but to have a whole hour of false supportiveness shoved down my throat has finished me off. I don't want to go to work tomorrow. I've been fighting back tears all afternoon, and now I'm scared I won't be able to stop them tomorrow. But I've been trying to get another job, and it feels like nobody will ever have me.

I think you could say the self-pity dial is set to high.

Laurel
You have all my sympathies. Teaching is such a demanding job at the best of times, but when you're feeling low for any reason it suddenly becomes a million times harder. Why did HR have to say 'we love you?' when it would have been better coming from management (and one-to-one)???? It never ceases to amaze me how management think empty words (how ever well meant) can make up for crass treatment and disregard. Is there someone at school that you can talk to re 'stepping up'? Are you a trainee/TA or something? There may be 'rules' why they haven't offered you the chance to do it, but it's worth mentioning - if you still feel you want to do it.
Don't give up on the job search. There seem to be much fewer teaching posts this year but it doesn't mean there isn't going to be just the right thing out there for you.
In recognition that your pity dial is on a high number, can you turn up the pamper dial to match it? :beer:

fannyadams

Cat501 wrote: »

Just had phone call from hospital, not good news I'm afraid, DS's dad been given a 30% chance of survival. Good news is he's willing to fight.

!!!! !!!! !!!!:(

couldn't read and run.

Hugs for all & sending positive vibes to DS's Dad to help him fight.

Cat501

thanks FA1 xxx hoping things are looking a bit less bleak now, off to the hospital very soon

Possession

LOL on the garage! We were forced to clear ours out when we started our business as we needed it for storage and found all kinds of nastiness including evidence of mice which, since we were going to be storing food in there, meant we had to splash out on a super duper garage door with no little mouse openings. apparently they can get through a hole the width of a ballpoint pen, I don't quite know how. Thankfully it worked, and now our garage is just as full but semi-organised and full of business stuff.

catslovelycats wrote: »

Shashwoo, you're not shoving in at all! I know what you mean about being tired after a whole day at work etc. I don't see the decluttering as being something I have to do every day - because I can't possibly. It's a case of what I can when I can. And if I'm not in the mood or too tired or something, I am not going to beat myself up about it. (Easier said than done maybe).

And to whoever mentioned the garage: :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:
I have to step over stuff in mine to be able to get to the hay for the guinea pigs. I almost think I need a skip job for there. Needless to say, the garage is bottom of my list and I'm in semi denial by just ignoring it. The garage and my filing cabinet are my 2 decluttering phobias :rotfl::rotfl::o

Possession

Cat501 wrote: »

thanks FA1 xxx hoping things are looking a bit less bleak now, off to the hospital very soon

hope it goes well at the hospital Cat, news sounding a bit better.

YORKSHIRELASS

Hi all, welcome Shashwoo.

Cat, sorry to hear your news. You are certainly having it tough at the moment. Hope you are OK.

Have had a productive afternoon clearing the remains of our shed and fence from next door neighbours garden after the storms a couple of weeks ago. Insurance have finally give us the go ahead to get the fence fixed. We have made a big plan to sort the outside of the house this year. This means painting the windows, painting the downpipes, finishing the garden, putting up a new shed and painting the fences as well as repairing the storm damage and fixing the fence at the front. Phew, sounds like a lot of work but we really need to make an effort to get it done, our house is starting to look tatty and its OK having a mess inside but its different when everyone can see it!

Laurel, sorry to hear about your job. As clc says is there anyone at work you could talk to?

Need to go and tidy kitchen up before I lose the will to do it!

Possession

Laurel sorry you're going through such a tough time. I agree, I hope there is someone at work you can confide in.

laurel7172

Thanks, Cat, and..Cats

I'm a teaching assistant. I had a 1:1 last week, and I was highly praised, but...I've wiped what I've written four or five times now, and I think I'd better keep it that way.

My manager knows some of what's been going on, and she's highly supportive. But she can't get me another job, and that's all I really want now. More deletions. I'd probably better go...

But thanks again x

ETA: thanks also Yorkshirelass and Possession x

Catslovelycats

laurel7172 wrote: »

Thanks, Cat, and..Cats

I'm a teaching assistant. I had a 1:1 last week, and I was highly praised, but...I've wiped what I've written four or five times now, and I think I'd better keep it that way.

My manager knows some of what's been going on, and she's highly supportive. But she can't get me another job, and that's all I really want now. More deletions. I'd probably better go...

But thanks again x

ETA: thanks also Yorkshirelass and Possession x

I know how you feel. Once you've reached the point where you feel you've 'reached the end', you just want to be able to move on to the next place. Not as easy as that though when the work opportunities are just not there. I feel my days where I work are over, but like you haven't found somewhere else to go and feel trapped. It's tough. the only thing I can say that might help, is to remind yourself that at least you've got work - not perhaps the greatest of comfort when you would rather not be there, but it is money comin gin. I see my pay at th moment as 'danger money' :rotfl::o