My home is a mess

Cat501

Hi - first of all can I say how impressed I am by how much you all manage to get done!! It makes me feel so ashamed when I read about people who are in physical pain managing to do ten times what I do in a day!

I've suffered from depression and related chronic fatigue for 20 yrs (not CFS, I'm fortunate enough not to get the aches and pains related to that) and have a severe lack of motivation and energy which has worsened over the last 10 years. If I manage to get dressed, cook a meal and do just one other thing in a day (which can be as small as making an important phone call, or posting a letter which I should have done weeks ago) then that's a high achieving day for me and leaves me exhausted!

Anyway I'm ashamed to say my home really is a tip, the sort of thing you'd see on "How Clean is Your House?":embarasse I don't know where to start. I need motivation and energy- but then again I have long spells when I don't want to communicate with people even online so may have to dip in and out of here as and when I'm feeling up to it....this doesn't mean I'm ignoring people or ungrateful for any help.
Btw laundry is out for now, machine is broken and has been for months - washing is being farmed out to family as I can't motivate myself to get the kitchen sorted enough to let anyone in to look at it:embarasse Maybe Santa will bring me a new one for Christmas

I've recently started on Duloxetine (Cymbalta) - nearly 6 weeks ago - and haven't noticed any difference yet really but side effects aren't awful so I'm pressing on. I'd be interested in anyone's experiences.
Thanks for reading my nonsense!
Cat

MessyMare

Cat501 wrote: »

Hi - first of all can I say how impressed I am by how much you all manage to get done!! It makes me feel so ashamed when I read about people who are in physical pain managing to do ten times what I do in a day!

I've suffered from depression and related chronic fatigue for 20 yrs (not CFS, I'm fortunate enough not to get the aches and pains related to that) and have a severe lack of motivation and energy which has worsened over the last 10 years. If I manage to get dressed, cook a meal and do just one other thing in a day (which can be as small as making an important phone call, or posting a letter which I should have done weeks ago) then that's a high achieving day for me and leaves me exhausted!

Anyway I'm ashamed to say my home really is a tip, the sort of thing you'd see on "How Clean is Your House?":embarasse I don't know where to start. I need motivation and energy- but then again I have long spells when I don't want to communicate with people even online so may have to dip in and out of here as and when I'm feeling up to it....this doesn't mean I'm ignoring people or ungrateful for any help.
Btw laundry is out for now, machine is broken and has been for months - washing is being farmed out to family as I can't motivate myself to get the kitchen sorted enough to let anyone in to look at it:embarasse Maybe Santa will bring me a new one for Christmas

I've recently started on Duloxetine (Cymbalta) - nearly 6 weeks ago - and haven't noticed any difference yet really but side effects aren't awful so I'm pressing on. I'd be interested in anyone's experiences.
Thanks for reading my nonsense!
Cat

I have fibromyalgia so I understand the impact chronic fatigue has on you! I would say, one morning/afternoon/evening, whichever is easiest for you, go to your front door and sort out any mess in the surrounding few metres- put any clutter in the room it's supposed to live in and have a bin bag handy. Put any rubbish in your outside bin, then take a break. Keep moving through at a rate you can handle. For me, I have to do everything in one day. This means my house looks like a slum in between but I have to be able to see the difference to have the motivation and energy to do it, if that makes sense. I know other people that prefer to do a little a day; it's just experimenting and finding something that works for you. One day when I was just utterly overwhelmed by it (an argument with OH that night and him in a massive sulk didn't help) my mum came over and spent the morning with me just plugging away at all those jobs you keep meaning to do but never get round to..that was a godsent..

Rummer

Cat501 wrote: »

I need motivation and energy- but then again I have long spells when I don't want to communicate with people even online so may have to dip in and out of here as and when I'm feeling up to it....this doesn't mean I'm ignoring people or ungrateful for any help.
Cat

Hello and warm welcome to you Cat

We are here to keep each other going through mess and cleanliness! There are many people who pop in and out of the thread so swing by when you are up to it

As for your current situation try not to feel overwhelmed (easier said than done I know ). We have all been in the same position to one degree or another and can empathize. If you have family who are near and helpful could some of them come round and help you do a mega clean and then you might be better placed to keep on top of it? I appreciate it is not ideal however it could be worth it to get back on an even keel.

Failing that then think about the spaces that are most important to you and make them your focus. For me I started with the living room so I had somewhere tidy to relax. If you pick a room then the days where you have the energy you know where you can start.

jpscloud

Hi Cat501 - no one on this thread is at all judgemental and while I won't try to speak for everyone, as far as I'm concerned I am grateful to others for sharing their messyness, as it makes me feel in good company and not a hopeless failure.

I'm halfway through a week's holiday in which I hoped to get something done but I haven't so far. I know what you mean by feeling one small thing is a great achievement.

I'm so grateful for this thread, thank you to everyone for making me feel better!

Cat501

Thank you so much for the warm welcome and the advice! It really does help me feel better about things! I'm pretty knackered now so I'm off to bed, but whenever I surface tomorrow I'm going to read through your posts again with a clearer head and make a start on something, anything Thanks again, you're all :As!!!

Mumof2_2

Hi Cat - welcome to you. Don't worry about dipping in and out; I know I'm one who does this too as sometimes life just gets in the way. No-one minds at all; just lovely to hear from you as and when.

Had a funny sort of day today, vacuumed right through apart from the kitchen, shone my sink *thud*, did all my ironing, caught up with my typing, cleaned out the chickens and have even dug out the knitting I abandoned earlier this year and am going to try to keep going with it. Been really bitty iykwim, done all this as well as acting as referee between the kids who are constantly at each other.

DH made dinner tonight :j - very unexpected and very welcome. I love having a day off cooking! He's feeling better than he was but still bad and I don't expect him to go into work tomorrow.

Off to bed - wish I had your flannelette (sp?) sheets jpscloud. We can't have the 9 tog quilt on for ages yet - DH gets really hot whereas I shiver so still got the 4 tog quilt on but I've got 2 x folded over blankets on my side. I think I'll be bringing the 9 tog down from the loft very soon.

snookey

Emm Our old dog has the odd accident too. The other night we were sitting in the livingroom eating tea when my dd came in and pointed out the dog poo on the rug. Nobody had seen him do it although we all smelled it after it was noticed. On the subject of cats we have four and three of them end up in, or on the bed.

Colleen my oh has fibro and its difficult to watch him in so much pain so I can see how difficult it must be for you.

This week we bought a table and chairs for the Kitchen, Fantastic bargain as the woman we bought it off had paid 700.00 pounds and we got it for 142.00. Its oak with six chairs which are also oak. Its been well looked after and will outlive me thats for sure. My mission is to buy second hand where possible , also, because on our budget we have to. Still painting the front room and oh doing the hall bit by bit.

Im glad to see our numbers are increasing as its showing that its normal to struggle with housework. Nobody should feel they have to be perfect life is too short.
Iv done a few loads of washing and thats it. Son has cleaned the kitchen and dd had a try of doing the livingroom. Will have a deep clean tomorrow.

Take care everyone.

ksh123

I'm not sure its the right thing to say but its actually WONDERFUL to hear that other people are as overwhelmed and low on motivation as me. I know, and you know the same, that our illnesses are to blame for the state of our homes, but that doesn't stop me from slipping into the old habit of blaming myself: "I'm lazy", and all other complex-inducing thoughts.

If I could only use the energy I spend on wishing I had energy maybe I'd have some, lol.

I don't want to be this person who doesn't want to or can't do things but its like being stuck in a maze. At least thanks to this thread I'm not on my own in here

Emm-in-a-pickle

Hail fellow Messies, and welcome Hugs to Cat. Dipping in & out of here is fine,(I have to `cos of shift patterns for a start, and sometimes I get all peopled out too.) & there seems to be always a welcome back here.The posts of other Messies, their empathy/advice/ ACCEPTANCE regarding our housekeeping shortcomings helps such a lot. So does the mutual praise encouragement when a poster feels they achieved something, got some Stuff done (however mega OR trivial OR incomplete the task).

Re Chronic Fatigue - one of my very dearest friends, an ex-colleague much younger than me who was always SO organised & really focussed (home AND work) went down with CFS, `got over it` , plummeted again, got on top of things for a while, plummeted AGAIN... all this with fantastic support from her OH who`s an angel of a bloke (just the 2 of them & pets). Got a letter last week, she`s now been diagnosed with fybromalgia. I do SO wish she hadn`t moved 70 miles away before this all started! Financially now unable to move & come `home`. Her mum is gutted (doesn`t drive) but would helpfully potter ENDLESSLY if she was within reach. So would I, I`d very gladly leave MY mess & go help if she was nearby, see more of her, be supportive & help her angel bloke. As it is, I can only try to keep up & help writing/sending little cards & small comfort stuff - eg the fleece-type efforts as described next.

Re the Duvet-Theft issues. I have a little collection of fleece-type blankets & throws, (all wash & dry quicker than duvet covers) were cheapo bargains picked up over last few years, range from v.basic cheapest light fleece to heavy-ish `teddy-bear` stuff, and a VERY light but warm sort of open weave microfibre thing, like a giant shawl. Any one of these, UNDER the duvet stays put and compensates so well that I often end up being TOO warm whilst waiting for the duvet-theft! And they FEEL so nice if one sleeps in the buff!

Re Doggy-do`s - THANKS to all you Messies who declare their pets` incontinence here! Dunno WHY it should be such a source of wonder & mirth to my esteemed colleagues on ward when OH left message about Daftie-dog the other day, when we are there dealing with human Oopsies all the time!
No, actually, I DO see why they were so amused, after speaking to OH about it. It transpires that the actual Ooopsie was quite solid. OH saw it, went out for a shovel, scooped it off the rug (leaving no evidence) but rolled up the mat for washing, correctly) THEN took shovel outside but some poo rolled off shovel & he trod in it in his haste, but he had `dealt with it`. Then phoned me on ward (don`t do mobile) to give report of incident. He told me today that he`d included these details to Sister when leaving the message as I was on break. Bless`im, shouldn`t be left home (or let out) on his own, really, nor allowed to leave phone messages!!

helen_jelly

Emm - really funny doogy poo story

Hello to all - old and new

Yesterday was a complete wipe out as far as housework was concerned, today is going better

Today I have
Been to Sainsbugs to return some clothing - had a look at the sale on toys but unfortunately mine are now too old - real shame as there were some good prices!!
Ironed a pile - another 2 to go
Done breakfast for kiddies

Now goig to put ironed stuff away and then sort bedrooms and bathroom

Have a cracking day everyone, love and hugs to all

Helen x