My home is a mess

pinkmami

My house is nowhere near immaculate but its clean & tidy. I'm a SAHM to 3 kids (4 if you include DH cos I also have to pick up after him:rotfl:) so I do have the time to clean & tidy the place.

Next year we are moving house to a similar size property with NO LOFT SPACE. None at all. I'm not one to keep clutter but DH is...he's terrible infact. News papers (okay we keep them for the woodburner (in the new place), he's got magazines from the 70's, train set, footballs, old clothes & shoes which have been vanishing one by one;) when I go to the clothing bank. His main problem is bank statements & every other bill & statement which come into the house. He keeps cheque book stubs since the early 90's:eek:.....what the heck for?! I'm trying to reason with him but its falling on deaf ears.

I've started (well nearly finished) de-cluttering the kids & myself so what we have now is all we take to the new place.....but DH is a totally different story!

He can't fathom why I clean every day....clearly thinks as I'm a SAHM I have all day to do it - which is fair enouigh but I DON'T WANT to do it! I have tidy up every morning when the youngest is in school & then we have the PM's free to play.

Lord help him when I go back to work next year....& he wanders what I do all day!?!?!?:rotfl:

hart44

It is hard knowing how to tackle parents without upsetting them but I know how you feel, my mum is a horder and when we stop I have to take boxes and clothes off the spare bed so we can sleep in the room
I think she has more cook and gardening book the WHSmiths as for her craft room (she makes cards) it's wonder she has not been killed in an avalanche of bits :rotfl:but mum does keep the kitchen and bathroom clean
She even hords old newspapers and she must be on every clothes catalogue in the world mailing list but she wont get rid of them.

Is there anyway you and sis could get together and do some cleaning one wkend for them maybe that will help them get started then, sometimes we get in such a rut we don't know where to start and end up doing nothing
I know thats why Im here

I hope you find a way round it anyway we are always here if you need to have a moan

SkintMonkey

Thanks Hart.

When I lived at home I use to do the cleaning in order to stay sane but they would mess it up so quickly....from experience I know that their house is just so difficult to clean because of all the stuff in their house.

When I've been over there and used the bathroom I've given it a very quick once over but being honest, the dirt is so old it needs a lot of time to get it off. I don't want to sound mean about my folks, but I don't believe us cleaning for them would make a jot of difference. I've done it before and it reverts back to how it was in an instant.

We've offered to help clear stuff out but no, 'we will do it in our own time'...which never happens.

We've joked with them about going on all those tv programmes like life laundry, how clean is your house, making space then when that's done go on flog it, cash in the attic! My father looks horrified at the thought.

I have offered to go over there and help them when my husband is home with baby, but just get 'oh that's kind, thanks but no thanks' reply.

I think I need to say something. I know it sounds funny, but I'm more comfortable addressing the 'stuff' issue, but how do I tell them that their house is dirty and we were concerned about our son being over there because of the grime? We've offered to clean, we've offered to help them get a cleaner (a proper cleaner who have no space to clean), but they aren't interested. They don't seem to care, that's why I think we need to basically say that if things don't change the kids can't come over.....(but they are always welcome here anytime of course).

VJsmum

It's a toughie for sure, as i was reading i thought - but they clearly don't care, and then you said it. Normally i'd say well it's your problem, not theirs and you should respect their choices HOWEVER with small children and one with disabilities it obviously is going to be an issue for you.

Is your mum more reasonable than your dad - or vice versa? Maybe you could take mum out for lunch and explain how worried you are about your little one being there with the clutter and the dirt (after all they must realise it's dirty?) and that you are concerned for his / her health as well as their own as time goes by? Would your sister join in?

Good luck - I feel for you.

helen_jelly

Skint - what an awful position to be in - if it was me I'd try talking to them but if there was no effort on their part to sort itout then I would tell them that I wouldn't be over with DS until its clean but that they were welcome to see me anytime - you can't put your child in a place that is a risk to his health, Huge hugs hun [HUGS]

Hart - now way am I doing anyone else's ironing - can't keep on top of mine - I ironed again this morning and still have 3 massive piles to do - decided on an hour a day until its cleared or..... they all stop wearing clothes, not me of course as I don't mind doing my ironing lol

Been hospital visiting today - always amazes me the difference in health care from one county to another!!

I'm knitting a Hot Water Bottle and only have to finish one half of the back and then I can sew it together - its my first proper item that I've knitted [don't count scarves] and I'm quite excited about it. I'm also teaching myself Crocheting - managed to master a simple chain so need to move on to the next bit now.

Tomorrow, as they say, is another day so I'm sure I'll manage more ironing and a bit of tidying up - on Saturday me and the kiddies are away for a week with Mum at a Caravan at Bacton [near Great Yarmouth] so could everyone start doing a Sun Dance as the weather is looking decidedly dodgy

Helen x

craftygranny

wow you have all been busy.

My living room is almost clutter free now. Apart from my oh suggested moving my craft stuff up into one corner on some spare shelves . trouble is he underestimated how much stuff i had.lol.never mind good excuse for a clear out of my stuff. On the other hand i did clear 3 of my 4 toilets yesterday just the main bathroom to do now. Then i've treated all the toilets to new seats just need oh to put them on .

nearlyrich

Skint I feel for you, my mum was a terrible hoarder, she had a fall and was assessed by the SS (Social Services not the Nazis LOL) who said her house was diffucult to get around, she had too much furniture and just too much stuff, she was brought up in the war years where everything was kept in case it came in handy. I am one of six and she, living alone, still had all the kitchen equipment, cutlery, plates etc thet she had when we were all at home. It took a while but I removed a lot of stuff to the recycling centre and to the charity shop, she had clothes 5 dress sizes bigger than she was. She didn't miss anything at all not even the 102 Flora cartons she had lovingly washed and put in the cupboard:o and she did manage to have a couple of years of clutter free living before she died. The house wasn't dirty but it wasn't easy to just run the hoover over etc.

Me, I have learned the lesson. my house is getting there, DD's room will be the new double spare room, new bed arrives on Wednesday and I have sorted out all the beddng in the airing cupboard I am only keeping two sets for each spare bed max, all the stuff they brought back from uni is going to the charity shop. I have moved into some of the spare wardrobe space actually sorted my shoes etc and my bags. I have had 3 boxes of "holiday clothes" in my wardrobe on a high shelf yesterday I faced the fact that if they are not coming on my next holiday (next week) then they probably should go to the charity shop or even in the bin in some cases.;)

Rummer

I have whipped the kitchen into shape! Floors and units scrubbed and the hob left to soak overnight (no idea what OH welded to it) I was going to scrub it but thought a soak and wipe was preferable. Now all it needs is a dish washer load, the hob and sink wiped and that is it done!

Started on the bedroom too and managed to clear a blue Ikea bags worth of stuff out of it. The car is packed with clothes that are going to the charity shop tomorrow and the hall is filled with things waiting for freecyclers to collect.

Still so far to go but at least I can see clear improvement and OH was decidedly chuffed to come home to a clean kitchen and a hot home made from scratch meal, I was quite the domestic goddess today!

snookey

Not done much again apart from cleaning the kitchen and laundry. Ds hoovered the stairs and landings so not too bad.

Dog peed in the kitchen yesterday and I slipped in it. Dog went to oh and growled at him after I told him off. He does strange things must be his age. Had to have a shower as I was soaked. Everyone but me found it funny.:o

Tuesday will be a productive day. Thats what Im telling myself anyway.

Glad to see others are still motivated and getting the clutter sorted.:T

hart44

Good morning messies

Snookey I had to laugh, not about you slipping but the dog growling at your OH, it is like he is saying ''you dirty devil, couldn't you make it to the bathroom'' :rotfl::rotfl:

I have a day to myself (no school run as it's family day) still have work tonight but I can get on with some decluttering of my bedroom and maybe some ironing (I will forgive you Helen :rotfl: for not wanting to do mine :rotfl:)

I will finish the leavers gifts too so must keep off the PC today

Hope everyone has a good day and will catch up on my coffee breaks and tonight